Toxicum
by DangerRosa
Summary: oHigh School AUo Sometimes fate has a weird way of kicking you when you're down. And sometimes, you just have to roll with it all the while pretending you can come out sane. Slash. SasNar
1. The Transfer

**Disclaimer: **-blinks- Disclaimer? Er… why would I disclaim the fact that Naruto owns my soul…?

**Pairings:** SasNar (maybe some others)

**Warnings:** _Mature language_, a_ character death_ later on, and there _is_ going to be some _hardcore YAOI_, yo! There, you were warned. If you are queasy about same-sex relationships or don't like foul language, there is a back button for a reason. Thanks for stopping by, anyway, though!

**1: **The Transfer

Ah, joy…

Naruto wrinkled his nose and crossed his arms as he contemplated his current situation thoroughly. Sure, he would have liked to have bargained with the principal and _stayed_ at his old school, _but_, all things considered, Naruto supposed he should feel incredibly lucky that the bastard of a principal 'spared' him and let him off 'easy.' The thought made him snort.

The warning bell signaled and he was jostled about as countless bodies rushed by, not really wanting to receive a detention. Naruto frowned as—by the gods, did that guy just grope him? Naruto's scowl at his 'sexual harassment' instantly faded as he realized his feet were slowly being lifted off the ground and he was being sucked in with the other students.

He frowned as he instantly dropped onto all fours—normally an unwise thing to do for a normal person in the middle of a stampede. _But_, admittedly, Naruto was _not_ normal. Instead of being instantly trampled as one might have expected, he flipped, rolled, and jumped through the pairs of hustling legs and managed to get himself out of the crowd and into the greenery nearby.

He sighed from the safety of the shrubs before slowly sliding to his rear and relaxing. Geez, those idiots were that excited merely to get to class?

There was only one reason why Naruto was anywhere _near_ a school or an 'evil education building of doom' as he so loved to call it. This, truthfully, was the tenth school he had attended. All the others he had somehow managed to get expelled for some unknown reason—Well… not entirely _unknown_… But, Naruto would swear to his grave that he had _nothing_ to do with that one boy who somehow managed to have a bucket dropped on his head—How was he supposed to know the damn brat had sensitive skin and would grow a concussion as a result?—Er… Naruto had nothing to do with that incident! Or the one where he… Alright, so it was fully his fault that he decked his sensei, causing the poor man to be rushed into the ER (at least _that_ teacher was put in stable condition almost right away, unlike other poor, unfortunate souls).

He had been expelled from his previous school for getting into a fight with _that bastard_ after a certain button had been pushed that _no one_ ever pushed—_ever­. _Naruto really couldn't be held responsible when people dug into him.

So the principal had said that while the _bastard_ was going to live, Naruto would be expelled. There is a certain amount of times a person can be expelled before schools stop trying and flat-out reject you. Yeah, Naruto had reached that extreme. So the principal made a deal—he'd get Naruto into another school so long as it was the principal himself who picked it out. Naruto wasn't happy at all about it, but his guardians had been all for it.

So that bastard of a principal sent in an application to Konohagakure High and it—magically—got instantly accepted due to the principal's persuasion.

Just one thing everyone forgot to mention there, though, ladies and gentlemen.

Konohagakure High was one of the most prestigious schools in the area. You either had to be rich, intelligent, or both to attend the damn place. Not to mention the place was perhaps one of the strictest facilities the blond had ever seen. Ever. As in, ever in his life. You looked the wrong way at a teacher and it was possible to get expelled. Honestly, what had the principal been thinking, putting him here? Naruto gave himself a maximum of three days before something snapped and he was once again expelled.. Maybe four if he was having a good week. Well—

Actually… Naruto was going to try to stay here a little longer than that since his darling guardians lovingly threatened to lovingly kill him if he got expelled ever again. The only comforting thought that came to him was that his best friend he ever knew attended this school…

So here he was, crouching behind a dead bush as the bell rang again. So much for making an impression on his first day. He paused for a second, wondering if he really should bother going to class since he was already late. While it technically wasn't the first day of school, since it was part-way into the second semester, it was _his_ first day, and pray hope the teachers had a little bit of mercy?

* * *

"_Who the bloody hell do you think you are, waltzing in here and—_"

Naruto remained unmoved as he slid the door shut and turned to face the teacher who most definitely was _not_ showing any mercy. That is, until the teacher saw the youth's face.

"You're… the new transfer, right?" the teacher hesitantly started again after cutting off his earlier exclamation.

He grinned and stuck up a thumb in one of his 'poses.' "Uzumaki Naruto at your service."

"Well, Mr. Uzumaki, mind enlightening us as to why you're late?"

Naruto nodded soberly before clasping his hands. He really had been hoping the teacher would should him compassion and he wouldn't have to make up an excuse…

"I was hurrying to class and arrived at the gates a good twenty-five minutes ago when suddenly these girls they came out of no where, see? And they just grabbed a hold of me and lugged me away. Turns out they were stalkers—rabid, me-crazy stalkers! I had to escape their evil clutches but as it turns out that they had re-enforcements. I can't hit a girl. Ya know? And I wanted to discourage them as gently as possible—I can't help that I'm just so irresistible. So eventually I escaped and dragged my bloody ass into school despite the agony and traumatization."

"… 'Tramatization' is not a word," was the only thing the teacher told him.

Naruto crossed his arms and leaned back against the wall. "In my book it is," he replied darkly, not liking that the teacher had no sense of humor.

His sensei flinched at the tone, causing Naruto to blink in surprise. "Oi, what's up with you—?"

"Don't," the teacher interrupted sharply, his tone cracking the air like a whip, "you _dare_ assume you can just waltz in here and do whatever you like because of who you are and what you've done."

Naruto's grin fell.

The teacher narrowed his eyes at him. "I don't like people like you thinking that they can walk all over people because you _can_. In case you didn't notice, Uzumaki-_chan_, this school is full of people who have power and money. I think you'd be best keeping your hands off them unless you don't mind getting expelled and finally put in juvie."

Well his semi-good mood had just been flushed down the toilet—right after it had been mauled bloody. He returned the man's dirty look with his own as he fought himself to remain in the classroom and not step out and skip for the day. He had promised himself he would try and change this time…

He didn't say anything. He felt like he would blurt out something he would _sorely_ regret later if he even dared to open his mouth.

Despite the fact he was battling his jaw muscles with all the will power he could muster, his mouth opened anyway—

"Back the fuck off."

—And promptly snapped shut as his cerulean orbs darted to the other side of the class, as did every other pair of astonished eyes.

Naruto gave a small sigh.

The one who had come to his defense was none other than the most feared boy in the whole school. His messy, dark hair was what Naruto remembered most about him. He always hated the color of his hair—it wasn't normal Japanese hair he had continuously told Naruto when they were younger. The dark, scar-like marks that engulfed the area around his eyes were a harsh contrast against his light skin. The distinctive thing about him that others knew him by was his bottomless, piercing eyes. Those eyes almost seemed to rip through one's mind and see straight into your soul, which seriously freaked his fellow peers and teachers out. The tattoo above his left eye—the Japanese kanji for _love_—was enough to make anyone crack up as the boy most definitely was anything _but_ lovable to most people's eyes. Once again, Naruto was not normal.

"Gaara…" Naruto murmured, old memories flashing through his mind and almost-forgotten feelings flooding him.

Gaara, known as Shukaku no Gaara by those who knew him, was feared by everyone with a good reason. His unstable mind had resulted in many being hospitalized, eight of them in critical condition. The only reason Gaara was still in school was because his parents—the bastards that they were—blackmailed the press and school board to keep Gaara's 'fits' hush-hush.

It didn't take long for everyone to realize it was an early death wish to cross him or—gods forbid—piss him off.

The teacher was the one who broke the stunned silence. "G- Gaara-san… I- I'll have to ask you to- to please allow me to punish this boy wi- with the judgment he—"

"Shut the fuck up." His tone was emotionless but there was an icy chill behind the words that left the poor man stuttering like an idiot. (He hated the fact that the damn teacher had used the word 'judgment.')

"U- Uzumaki-san, please find a seat."

The blond ignored the annoying teacher. "I don't need you to help me," he sharply reprimanded the red-head.

Emerald orbs narrowed as the unstable boy scrutinized him. "I didn't see you doing anything about it," was his curt reply.

A snort. "Crazy raccoon. I _can_ stick up for myself."

A (non existent) brow rose at that. "Really now?"

"… If I want to…" he grumbled as an afterthought.

"… You are perhaps the most idiotic creature to have ever walked on this planet."

Blue eyes turned icy as they narrowed. "What was that, you—?" Naruto took two steps toward his childhood friend…

"—_Kyaah_—?"

…And he promptly tripped over his own foot.

The class seemed unsure whether to laugh at his idiocy or ask if he was okay and help him to get back on his feet. So they opted to just keep their mouths shut and make sure their future didn't involve an early demise.

It was, surprisingly, Gaara who broke the silence. "…Same old Baka no Kitsune."

"Oi!" a boy who was currently tangled up in himself cried indignantly as he managed to get himself back on his feet somehow. "I resent that remark!" Naruto broke out into a grin before shaking his head and making his way across the front of the class, walking right in front of the bastard-teacher. He stopped and went back the row that was second closest to the window and didn't stop until he was at the last desk. Twenty-two pairs of eyes watched as Naruto sat down before reaching over to his right and ruffling the short locks of Shukaku no Gaara.

They all wondered why he liked to flirt with the entity of Death so much.

* * *

There were times when he managed to convince himself that he was no where near as idiotic as everyone said he was. In those moments, he would puff up his chest and quite proudly boast about whatever accomplishment he had made that had caused his head to swell. Usually, someone gave him either light praise, a compliment in disguise, or told him to shut the hell up and act his age for once.

This was not one of those moments…

In fact, Naruto would say it was just the opposite.

"Heh heh… heh… heh… Uh… G- Gaara-chan? Long time no chat, huh? Heh heh…?"

His reply was a scowl that, had he not known the insomniac for so many years, would have had him wetting his pants and actually fearing for his life.

"So- uh- er- What have you been up to all this time, eh?"

"Four-hundred-and-seventy-four days," Gaara growled deeply.

"Yeah, um—you've been keeping track?" A cocky grin. "I didn't know you cared, bastard."

Gaara's expression didn't change. "Four-hundred-and-seventy-four fucking days," he repeated, his tone going a little more into the 'kill mode.'

"Gaara-chan…? Gomen, okay? Really."

Had he been anyone else, he would have missed the way the brilliant green eyes narrowed a fraction of a fraction of a millimeter. "Four-hundred-and-seventy-four fucking _quiet_ days."

Naruto swallowed. "I- uh- _tried_ to write, I swear!"

Another narrowed fraction of a fraction. "Four-hundred-and-seventy-four fucking quiet, _letter-less_ days."

Naruto just plain frowned at this point. "Are you just going to repeat that every time you day something with a new word in it?"

"Four-hundred—"

Naruto threw his hands in the air in frustration and exasperation. "—And seventy-four fucking something something days! Yes, I _get _it. Now will you please let me _explain_?!"

"Four—"

He let out a growl. "Oh, for the love of camels! Yes, yes, four-hundred-and-seventy-four fucking something something day—"

"—seconds," Gaara finished, totally ignoring his happy-go-lucky friend.

Naruto blinked. …Oh. Okay then. Well, that worked, too.

"Kay then, here's how it went down. So I got expelled as you know, right? Well, I went to this new school that apparently had this _top-notch_ teaching system and everyone expected my grades to rise; they really did, the bastards. So anyway, it had only been about two days since I had started the new school that I decided to write to you. And hot damn, I'm pretty proud of those letters! They were _epic poems_, dammit! I wrote one at least three times a month, I swear. But after a while, I realized that I wasn't getting a response form you so I checked into things… And I found that…" Naruto's face contorted with anger before he spat out the word, "_Okaasan_ had intercepted my mail and caught the letters I wrote before they were delivered and destroyed any letter I received from you. I swear I tried, Gaara-chan, really I did!" he whined, grabbing onto the stoic boy's sleeve and looking up into those emerald eyes with a puppy pout.

There was a pause as Gaara returned the stare. "That was more than four seconds," he murmured simply.

Naruto wrinkled his nose at the annoying boy. "Go to hell."

It was then that the bell rang and Naruto nearly jumped six feet in the air. Immediately, he slightly opened the door of the equipment closet—the closet that Gaara had roughly shoved him in before following and closing the door behind them the moment homeroom had ended—and his blue eyes scanned the near-empty hall. He hissed when the last of the students disappeared.

"Shit, Gaara, I'm late again and I really don't need another teacher giving me a hard time—"

"Just tell him that they'll have to deal with me if they—"

Naruto shook his head quickly. "That's not going to work, Gaara, every time I come across trouble… And who says I need help?"

Gaara gave him a blank look. Without further words, the red head opened the door, left, and slammed it shut behind him.

Naruto growled before grasping the handle, planning on tackling his dearly loved friend and knocking some sense into his head. He twisted the knob and yanked on the door viciously.

"Oh, bloody, hell, Gaara—"

Apparently the door was locked from the outside.

"—_Very_ mature, I have to say…" he grumbled before slamming himself into the thick slab of wood forcefully.

"Che. It won't even budge…"

What a wonderful reunion with his child hood friend, no?

* * *

"When I get—"

_Bam._

"—out of here—"

_Slam._

"—I swear to the gods—"

_Blam_.

"—I'm going to skin him!"

Naruto pushed off from the ground and slammed into the door again. _Bam_.

With all the noise he was making, surely _someone_ had heard him by now. There was no way they weren't hearing his loud bangs and rants. So then why was no one coming to rescue him?

Naruto gave a sigh and let his forehead slam against the door with force. This was not where he wanted to be… All he had wanted to do was attend all his classes on the first day to give the teachers the impression that he actually cared about school so that they might go a little easy on him. That was all. Despite the complete fail in his first class… But that was homeroom and who assigned anything in homeroom? Though with the way the teacher hated him, he wouldn't put it past the evil man to do something just to torture Naruto…

The blond slammed a fist into the wood and let out a low growl. Gods, how he hated that teachers judged who he was just because of his record—

"Kyaah—?"

Quite suddenly, Naruto was no longer leaning against the door. In fact, quite suddenly, he found himself leaning on something much more preferable—someone's chest. While this sounded incredibly perverted and wrong, Naruto could safely say that it _wasn't_ so since it was a guy's chest—that fact was quite obvious seeing as the warm skin was flat and nicely layered with muscles that rippled slightly as the person shifted. And while _that _thought was wrong and could also be considered perverted, Naruto was a hundred percent sure he was not gay.

"Mind _getting off_?" a harsh voice demanded after almost four seconds, his tone giving a clear message that Naruto could decipher perfectly: _I hate life, I hate you, I hate this school—_especially_ that damn closet—and I despise the fact that you're currently almost _laying _on me so how about you get the fuck off so I can go back to my Corner of Sulk?_ The blond had a gift of gaining an educated guess as to what type of temperament/person someone was just from the way they spoke, the tone they used, and the words with which they spoke their thoughts. Call it a 'gift' from all the bastards that had harassed him since he had been born.

"Can we say bastard?" Naruto murmured in response as he pushed off the chest to stand on his own.

There was a snort. "Feel grateful that I decided to end your ceaseless annoying bangs and released you from this stupid closet."

Azure eyes blinked. "Oh, yeah. Thanks, man!" One of his hands went to the back of his head to scratch nervously. "I seriously would have been screwed had you not come a—"

The other heaved a sigh of exasperation. "Just shut up."

Naruto blinked at him. He had never seen this emo-guy before in the hall or in homeroom—at least he didn't think so. But he had been a little caught up with giving the teacher the dirtiest look possible, so maybe he just didn't remember him being in his first class—

His blue eyes locked onto onyx and he realized no, never before had he seen this guy. While his dark midnight-black hair was a common feature and he was a little paler than a normal person, Naruto was sure that this guy wasn't in his homeroom. There was no way _anyone_ could meet him, see his glare of hate and doom, and forget about him, _ever_.

"Geez, what's your problem?" Naruto inquired as he frowned.

The raven-haired boy did not reply but instead turned and started off.

"Oi!" a certain blond cried after him indignantly. "Don't you _dare_ just ignore me!"

The annoying sonnuvabitch didn't even acknowledge him as he continued down the hall.

"Well, at least tell me what the name of my _savior_ is." Despite the fact that Naruto really tried to keep himself from doing so, sarcasm oozed thickly at the word 'savior.'

The raven turned the corner and vanished from his sight.

* * *

"Shit, man, you look ready to kill someone. Had a run-in one of the Seven Deadly Sins in disguise during some point of the day?"

Naruto could honestly say he did not expect anyone to talk to him if he initiated a conversation. So the fact that someone had just walked up to him and spoke a decent two sentences must have been some sort of hallucination.

So Naruto stared at the boy—

—Who, in turn, stared right back. "Something about me insult you or something?" he demanded after a few seconds.

Naruto blinked innocently. "Why are you talking to me?"

The boy snorted. "Who am I supposed to talk to? Your invisible counter-part?"

And despite the fact that Naruto had told himself that he was going to try to not interact with anyone other than Gaara for fear of a repeat of what happened at his previous school, he found that this boy shared his sense of humor and that there was no way he could keep himself from replying. "Aw, damn. You saw him? I was hoping to keep him hush-hush. Think you could keep 'im a secret for me? If the ladies find out that there's another one like me they'll _swarm._"

The boy broke out into maniacal laughter. He even doubled over, arms wrapped around his torso to help the ache that was forming in his stomach. "Keep him… hush-hush," he managed between laughs. "Fuck, blondie, I _like_ you! What's your name?" No longer was he laughing, he had managed to erect himself back into an upright standing position and was grinning madly.

"Che, even the guys love me!" Naruto boasted, flexing his arms to show off muscles. "Am I just that irresistible?"

The other replied with a roll of his dark brown eyes. "_Puh_-leez. If there's anyone here who's irresistible it's _me_."

Naruto let out a short bark of laughter. "Hot damn, I never though I'd meet another me! I _must _know your name!"

The boy gave him an amused smirk before replying, "Nuh-uh, I asked first. Common courtesy."

The blond's bottom lip jutted out slightly before he suddenly grinned and said, "You're lucky I really want to know your name—Naruto at your service. And you?"

"Kiba Inuzuka, of course. Who else?"

Naruto snorted. "Sorry, your invisible counterpart was telling me your name was more along the lines of 'I'm an ass'."

Kiba frowned at that. "Yeah, yeah, I hear ya. Geez, you're annoying."

His reply was a dry look. "You do realize that since we're so much alike that you're basically insulting yourself?"

"Like fucking hell!"

Naruto crossed his arms and nodded. "Yes, indeed."

Brown eyes narrowed dangerously. "I changed my mind. You are _not_ worth my time," he growled, also crossing his arms.

"Pfft. Give it up, Kiba, no one can beat me at my game when it comes to stubbornness."

Kiba smirked. "Guess we're going to find out, aren't we?"

Their eyes locked and some passerby said that no matter what anyone else may have said otherwise, they knew they saw an electric spark flare between the two.

"Give up," Naruto advised. "No one can beat me at this. I'm just that great."

A snort. "You kidding me? I used to do this shit all the time when I was younger. This is a piece of cake!"

"Riiiiiight, and I'm the class president," the blond immediately retaliated.

Kiba made a face, making sure not to break their eyes contact. "Thank the gods you're not. That guy is a _bastard_."

"Eh?" Naruto blinked, a little confused.

"The class president," Kiba clarified.

"Well—who is it?" Curiosity started to gnaw at Naruto and when Kiba didn't answer right away, he started shifted from foot to foot, growing a little antsy.

Kiba yawned and momentarily his eyes closed for a second as tears blurred his vision. "He's just a bastard."

"_Ha!_ I win! See? Told ya no one could beat me at my own game!" Naruto cried triumphantly, jabbing a finger at Kiba who in turn scowled.

"Look, blondie—"

"You're holding up the lunch line," a voice informed them.

Naruto looked around Kiba's shoulder to see just who it was that addressed them and Kiba broke out into a grin. "Shino, my man! Where've ya been? I haven't seen you in _forever_!"

"… We had class together not more than fifteen minutes ago," was Shino's reply.

"But man, you need to know that us brothers have to be together at all times!" Kiba explained.

Shino made no reply but instead looked at Naruto—well, it was hard to tell where exactly he was looking with his sunglasses, but his head was aimed at Naruto. They both took the time to examine each other and the blond felt that the Shino guy dressed a little weird… He was sporting a light shirt that had a high collar that successfully hid the bottom half of his face. His sunglasses hid his eyes from view and Naruto frowned. That was weird… Though he _had_ dealt with worse. Namely a certain semi-ex-psychopath red-head.

"I see Kiba has not thought of making any introductions, so I'll do so myself. I'm Shino Aburame."

"Naruto," he replied a little sheepishly, idly scratching the back of his head.

"Please forgive anything this stupid idiot has put into your head. I swear he… _occasionally _thinks."

Kiba gave Shino what was supposed to be a withering glare. "I resent that! For your information, I _passed_ all my classes last quarter!"

Shino didn't even bother to reply to him but instead refocused on Naruto. "You're new here, right? A transfer," he added in clarification.

"Yep," was Naruto's simple reply as he gave a sort of innocent grin and folded his arms behind his head. "First day here."

"And you're already jumping him?" Shino scolded Kiba. "I thought I made you promise to leave the innocent as they are. Not _everyone _has the brain capacity to put up with you."

Kiba scowled at his friend before nearly pouting. "Not in front of new people. I thought I told you this already."

"Feel free to hit him whenever you he goes into idiot mode, and also, if you need him to shut up, weird as this may sound, if you scratch right behind his left ear—"

"_Oi_! It was a complete fluke that _you_ found out! And you promised you wouldn't tell anyone!" Kiba roared.

Naruto slowly looked between Shino and Kiba. "What are you talking about?"

"Nothing!" Kiba cried as Shino decided that he was in a Kiba-torturing mood.

"You see, if you scratch the area behind Kiba's left ear—"

"The line!" Kiba hurriedly interjected, pointing in front of them where there was a huge gap. "We better move up in line or everyone will get mad at us."

"You didn't care about it a few seconds ago," Shino calmly told him despite the fact his tone told Kiba he was _no where_ near done with the torture.

"What about his left ear?" Naruto asked, glancing at the dog-boy in confusion.

"As I was saying," Shino tried once again, lowering his voice so that the object of their conversation wouldn't hear them. "If you scratch him right behind his left ear, he actually acts like a dog and falls to the floor."

"How is that like a dog?" Naruto looked thoroughly confused.

"He goes onto his back," he said, acting like the simple phrase explained it all.

A slender blond brow rose in question.

"And his leg goes nuts."

Alright, _that_ made Naruto's eyebrows shoot straight up. "What?"

The other shrugged. "If you don't believe me, just sneak up on him and see for yourself. Everyone's gone around you two in the lunch line. So there's no one to see which means the chances of him killing you are slightly slimmer."

Naruto blinked before thinking it over. His life or the possibility of seeing Kiba act like a dog… Sometimes life was full of some hard choices…

But there was no doubt the prankster within him was itching to try this one out. So, he stepped up to Kiba and lightly started rubbing at the back of his left ear. Immediately, the other boy froze, every muscle in his body going rigid as a small sensation entered him. Kiba tried, he _really_ tried, to keep himself from leaning into the touch.

He failed quite miserably.

Kiba was leaning up against Naruto's fingers. It was then that Naruto started scratching the apparently sensitive skin. Kiba's knees promptly gave out and he slowly fell to the floor. He looked to be in pure bliss as he rubbed against the touch.

The blond promptly snatched his hand away and started cracking up. "Oh—my gods!" he managed. "It—it _works_!"

Kiba was not amused. Once he had regained his dignity, he jumped to his feet and glared vehemently at Naruto. "I hate you," was his simple retaliation.

Naruto shrugged and grinned. "Yeah, yeah, Dog Boy. I hear ya, too."

"And _you_!" he growled at Shino. "All I have to say is if you wake up tomorrow dead, it _so_ wasn't me."

Shino didn't react in the slightest as he grabbed a tray and turned the lunch lady. "I don't think you realize the impossibility of that, so I am going to choose not to say anything in response."

"Oh, ha ha, asshole," the dog boy growled in response.

"Uh… what the hell… _is_ that?" Naruto murmured.

"Today's special," the lady told him in response, flipping the page in her novel.

"…Which is…?"

The lady's dark eyes flicked up to him and she shrugged before giving her attention back to her book. "I just pulled it out and put it in a pot, kid. Why don't you buy it and see?"

"How much does is cost?" Naruto almost regretted asking.

"I think nine-fifty." (1)

"Holy shit!" he exclaimed. "You pay _that_ much to die?! Holy hell, woman, do you take pleasure in seeing us poor guys die as we choke on the bile that shit forces to rise in our throats?"

The lady gave him a look, not sure what he just said before shaking her head and deciding to ignore them.

"I'm going hungry," Naruto muttered, throwing the tray down.

"Tch; me, too," Kiba agreed.

The three walked away from the kitchen area and they stopped before the sets of tables. Naruto nervously bit his lip as he snuck a glance at Kiba and Shino. He had hoped to sit with Gaara, but he also now wanted to sit with the two new semi-friends… And as much as he would have liked to sit with them all together, he had a feeling it wouldn't work out that well…

"So… where shall we sit?" Kiba finally broke the silence.

But Naruto always liked to dance with Death.

"Hey, you two… Wanna sit with someone else, too?"

Kiba shot him a look. "Who would that be?"

"Gaara-chan!"

Naruto swore he heard crickets then.

Kiba's eyes widened and the muscles in his jaw suddenly became lax. Shino didn't look to have had any reaction, but Naruto couldn't really tell since he couldn't see the guy's face.

After several long seconds, the dog-boy finally found his voice. "Gaara?" he echoed dumbly, not sure how else to react. "_Chan_?"

Naruto blinked, thoroughly perplexed, and titled his head slightly. "Yeah. You know—Gaara? About my height, though a little shorter, red hair, green eyes, odd tattoo over his left eye, an insomniac—"

"_I_ know who he is, but what I want to know is if _you_ know who he is." Brown eyes studied him for second, mentally questioning his sanity.

Naruto sighed. "Of course I do. Just trust me on this one, okay?"

He received a look that told him: _I don't trust mental people_.

Deciding not to waste his breath, Naruto shrugged. "Then I'll see you later?"

"Dude, you're crazy if you think Gaa—"

Naruto cut him off. "Tch; no worries. Later."

Without further ado, Naruto promptly started off for the other end of the cafeteria. It was sort of hard to hear anything in the room with everyone talking at once, so Naruto couldn't hear whether or not Kiba called out to him or not.

Though he would never, _ever_ admit it, he was slightly surprised to note that he got several approval whistles from near-by girls and two even called for him to join him. Had he not already planned on where he was sitting, he just might have considered accepting the offer. But he didn't. Instead, he made his way to the very end of the large cafeteria and came to a stop in front of the emptiest table in the whole room. Only one boy sat at the table that could comfortably seat twelve.

It was pretty obvious who that boy was.

Gaara.

Naruto plopped down across from him loudly before slouching in his seat. "I'm still pissed at you," he informed the red-head simply.

And suddenly, it wasn't so hard to hear anything.

In fact, it was dead silent.

Gaara rolled his eyes over to Naruto before narrowing them slightly. "Isn't that my line?"

"You have _nothing_ to be pissed _about_, asshole." Naruto never was one for using pretty, flowery words.

Mossy green eyes darkened to a lovely emerald color as irritation grew. "Don't you dare tell me I have nothing to be pissed about," he returned in a deadly calm and stoic voice.

"Give me one good reason why you should be upset," the blond challenged. "And you _can't_ say 'four-hundred-and-seventy-four fucking something something days,' got it?"

"Four-hundred-and-seventy-four fucking awful lonely times I thought I was abandoned," Gaara replied, not missing a beat.

Naruto, excited that Gaara had ignored his condition once the word 'four' had been said, had jumped to his feet, triumphant pose in place, only to freeze as he realized just what his best friend had said. He couldn't reply right away but when he did it was perhaps the most intelligent thing he'd ever said. "Wait—What?"

Narrowed eyes informed him that Gaara was not repeating himself.

"I'm _sorry_!" the blond exclaimed, holding his hands out in defense. "I _swear_ I tried! I already told you this!"

Gaara leaned back, crossing his arms. "What reason do you have to be pissed at me?" he asked, changing the subject. Naruto mentally sighed. That was Gaara's way of—grudgingly—saying that it was forgiven. Then the blond remembered just what his oh-so-wonderful redhead had done to him that morning. A scowl came across his features.

"What the hell are you doing, wondering why? You _know_ why, asshole. You _locked_ me in a _closet_. Please tell me that you actually had an intelligent reason behind it?"

"You deserved it."

And then the redhead pulled put his bento lunch and another container before grabbing his chopsticks.

"You know what—?!" The blue-eyed boy promptly cut himself off as he took in the extra container Gaara had pulled out. "…Is that, uh…?" Naruto was too entranced by it to finish his question.

"Hn," came the hummed response as the other picked at some rice.

Naruto broke out into a grin. "Oh, gods, Gaara, I _love_ you!" he exclaimed, diving for the container.

His hands, however, were met with the cold wood. He blinked in surprise before glaring and turning to Gaara.

"… Give it," he growled.

Gaara, had he been several years younger, would have rolled his eyes. "I made it, I packed it, I carried it around all day; give me one reason why I should."

There was a long pause before a grin spread across his face. "… Because you lub me?"

He received a scowl. "Try again."

"… Because you owe me for torturing me and locking me away in a closet?"

Naruto would've sworn the red-head rolled his eyes. "And again."

"… Because you don't like it and aren't going to eat it and thus will have to carry it around all day if you don't hand it over?"

This time he earned a glare, too. "Once more."

"… Because you miss me and know I'm going to get it one way or another?"

Gaara just plain sighed at that one, his expression remaining the same. "I'm giving you one more chance."

"… Because I'm sorry?"

Gaara thought about it for a second before carelessly tossing the container randomly. Naruto let out an indignant squeak before he leapt on top of the table and jumped off it higher into the air, grabbing the container and even doing a flip before his feet touched the ground again.

Several cheers and whistles sounded throughout the room and Naruto turned, a little confused, before giving a sheepish grin. Gaara, on the other hand, was not as amused. He did not like the fact that most everyone had been watching the whole ting from the moment the blond came over—he _hated_ nosey people—and as such, sent out his 'Glare of Promised Pain,' making sure to scan the whole room. Every single person froze under his gaze and promptly began having heated conversations with whoever was sitting closest to them, whether or not they knew the person.

Naruto shot the boy a disapproving look. "There's no need to act so meanly."

"You prefer them gawking like idiots?"

Naruto gave him a small glare and mumbled some curses. Of course he didn't, but that didn't mean he wanted Gaara giving them silent threats.

Instead of wasting his breath on trying—note the word _trying_—to give an intelligent reply, Naruto snatched the pair of chopsticks out of the other's hands before jumping over the table, plopping back into his seat, and ripped the lid off the container. His eyes were instantly greeted by delicious looking ramen. _Miso_ ramen, to make matters better.

"I would like to have those back," Gaara informed him darkly. Anyone else would have labeled his glare as a 'Glare of Death,' but Naruto automatically knew that it was, in fact, the 'Glare to Cover the Fact that Gaara was Indignant and did not want Anyone Knowing.' That long title had long been shortened to the 'Indignant Glare,' not to be confused with the 'Glare of Indignance,' which was, surprisingly, much different.

"Tch," was all the blond said as he shoved a huge bite of noodles into his mouth and slurped them down noisily.

"I'll give you four seconds," the green-eyed boy warned, his tone growing a sharp edge.

Naruto didn't reply for a few seconds as he enjoyed another slurp-y bite of the gods-sent noodles. Finally, he snorted. "All you ever do is pick at your food, anyway, so I'll give them back when I finish."

Gaara's glare turned a little heated. "You have just two seconds remain—"

"Done!" the blond chirped merrily, tossing the 'sticks back to him and slamming the empty bowl on the table.

Gaara didn't reply but merely caught the utensils in the air and started to poke through his rice again.

Naruto resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "But seriously, Gaara-chan, when you left me in the closet, there was this guy who came and let me out."

"Really now?" Gaara's tone was dry.

The bond gave him a look in return. "Be serious here. I want to ask you something. The guy who let me out—he was… I don't know… It's not something I can put into words," Naruto struggled to say.

Gaara didn't look intrigued in the least. "Did you ask his name?"

"He wouldn't _tell_ me," Naruto whined.

Gaara gave him a look that clearly translated as: _What?_

"He wouldn't! I even asked! The bastard just walked away looking like he was the best thing this world has ever seen since ramen!"

Gaara stiffened ever so slightly at that. But Naruto, having mastered reading Gaara-waves, instantly shut up and cast the boy a curious glance. "What is it?"

"Did he have dark hair?"

Naruto was slightly confused, but non-the-less answered. "Yeah… It kinds looked like a duck butt, actually. Why—Gaara what's wrong?" he asked after seeing the murderous look that had formed on the other's face.

"Lunch is almost over. Let me see your schedule."

Naruto complied and started shuffling for his bag before hading him the paper. After looking it over, Gaara murmured, "We have no morning classes together, but after lunch, we have them all together."

Naruto blinked, surprised, before giving an ear-splitting grin. "Really? Man, that's great. That means I can actually _attend_ classes! Yeah, man, thanks to you, I was late for second period so I just skipped… And then I got lost and by the time I found my third period room, it was time for fourth period… And then I just got all frustrated so I skipped all the classes I had left and just waited for lunch."

Gaara gave him a dark look. "You are an idiot. Just follow me for the rest of the day… And don't say anything to anyone else—especially the bastard who let you out of the closet." (2)

Naruto gave him a confused look. "… Why?"

Emerald eyes briefly shut. "Just don't do it. You'll understand soon enough."

The blond still looked lost. "Right; okay, I guess."

Gaara didn't say anything more on that topic but instead closed his bento box—Naruto noted that almost nothing was eaten from it—shoved it away somewhere, and stood up. "Come on; we're heading to class."

"Wha—?" He was cut off by the bell and everyone else put their lunches away and started off. "How the hell did you know the bell was going to ring?" he asked, blinking.

"It rings at the same time every day; it's called routine."

Naruto scowled at him as they went through the cafeteria's doors. He sometimes hated how realistic Gaara was.

* * *

Naruto followed Gaara into the classroom but stopped once he was through the door to look around at his new classmates while the red-head continued to the far end of the room and took his seat.

There were a lot of people in this class and the blond was a little awed at the variety. While they were all rich bastards and thus dressed in the latest fashion, Naruto could tell that no two people were _exactly _the same—though they all had that air around them that said _Oh, I'm so much better than you_—and he found he liked that a little.

Until the one kid in the front noticed him, that is.

"Tch, dude, you gonna sit or are you going to stand up there all day? I don't mind if you stand; gives me a close target to aim shit at."

Naruto decided to ignore him at looked back to Gaara. His heart sunk when he realized that there were no seats around him that were not taken—he also couldn't help but notice everyone who sat around him were slightly jumpy and kept giving the red-head nervous glances, like they expected him to jump at any second and attack them.

_Asses_, the blond snorted. Gaara was nothing like that and they would know that if they got passed his reputation and got to know him.

But back to the problem at hand… Naruto was seat-less and he wasn't able to sit near Gaara. His eyes scanned the room and he found an empty desk. A grin spread across his face and he took a few steps towards it before he saw just _who_ was sitting right next to the empty seat—

—And his grin fell off instantly. It was right next to the bastard that had _kindly_ let him out of the closet. Please be sure to note the sarcasm.

Gaara noticed his friend's expression and followed the blond's gaze. Upon seeing just what had upset him, the red-head's expression went murderous. The object of the duo's anger looked over at Gaara and smirked in a condescending manner.

It was then that Gaara reacted.

He turned to the kid that was next to him and gave him a dark look. The kid edged back, ready to flee if need be.

"Move."

The guy blinked at the simple statement. "W- What?"

Mossy green eyes narrowed dangerously and the guy yelped before scrambling out of the chair and—after a quick glance around the room—took the seat that Naruto had been grudgingly walking over to.

The blond blinked in confusion as the poor guy dived into the seat and clung to it like it was some sort of life support. He cast a curious glance to Gaara and frowned when he saw the empty desk next to the red-head, promptly putting two and two together.

"Sit."

Naruto glowered as he crossed his arms. "No," he replied tersely.

The whole class froze as the boy very obviously rebelled against what had to be the scariest thing anyone had every come across. They all told themselves that they were not going to buy a full dozen of roses for the guy's funeral since he _did_ ask for it, but opted that one was enough. No one was going to miss him.

Gaara remained impassive as he stared at the idiotic blond. "Sit," he repeated, emphasizing the word a little more this time.

"No," Naruto also repeated, his tone an exact copy of Gaara's as he, too, emphasized his statement slightly.

There was a silence as the two stared each other down and one or two of the fellow classmates claimed they were talking with their eyes or something.

It was Gaara who broke the silence. "Why ever not?"

"Wasn't he just sitting there?" Naruto thrust his thumb in the direction of the boy who jerked in reply and started to vehemently shake his head at the oblivious blond.

"What of it?"

Naruto growled. "_Gaara_," he hissed, "act your age."

As if to prove the point that he _was_ mature and was going to get what he wanted—in a mature way, mind you—he stood up, made his way over to the blond, and promptly picked him up bridal style. He ignored his friend's thrashing as he walked over to the empty desk, deposited the blond unceremoniously, and promptly took his seat again.

Naruto sputtered indignantly before leaping back onto his feet like the desk was made of fire or something.

"What the hell was that?" he shrieked before promptly whirling and scanning the room for any unoccupied seats. He found one that was nearly on the other side of the room and crossed his arms huffily and made his way over to it.

Gaara, not to be discouraged, simply stood up, went over to the desk next to the blond, glared at the girl who was in the seat, and sat down once the annoying woman had left in a hurry.

Naruto—_surprisingly_ (sarcasm)—wasn't amused in the least. "Will you stop it—?"

Naruto was cut off by someone else.

"One would think you got the hint that he didn't want to be bothered by you."

Gaara's eyes darkened to an emerald color and turned dangerous as they traveled over to the very person Gaara had told Naruto not to talk to. The quiet conversations slowly died as a tense silence enveloped the room.

"Uchiha," Gaara acknowledged indifferently.

"Sabaku," the raven replied with the same tone.

"Uchiha," Gaara said again, his tone still indifferent.

"Sabaku," the dark haired boy—Uchiha?—repeated.

"Uzumaki," the blond piped up, not missing a beat.

Two pairs of eyes turned to him, one showing no emotions and the other amused.

"What?" Naruto defended. "I thought it was my turn."

"What did I tell you?" Gaara told him a little coldly, not liking the fact that the blond hadn't listened to him.

"Since when have I listened to you?" he growled in reply.

Gaara nearly snorted. How true that was.

"Besides," Naruto continued, "I don't want you getting in trouble my first day here. You could get expelled. And we both know I don't want to be _that_ sort of influence."

Gaara grumbled about stupid blonds before turning back to the Uchiha. "I won't get expelled," he explained simply.

"Unless you do something you just might regret later," the raven nearly purred.

Naruto turned his glare to the cocky boy that he guessed had the surname of Uchiha. "_You_," he hissed. "You're not helping—shut up!"

Almost every girl pinned him with an animalistic glare as they realized just who he had told to shut up.

Naruto ignored them. "How about you two _sit_ down, _shut _up and—"

"We'll begin class," a bright and chirpy voice informed them as the bell rang.

"Precisely," Naruto agreed, nodding, before whirling. "Ne?"

A teacher who had longer dark hair tied up in a ponytail—a ponytail that stuck straight out in a way that just _had_ to be defying gravity, Naruto noted—was grinning merrily at him. "You're the new transfer, am I correct?"

Naruto mutely nodded.

The teacher crossed his arms. "In that case, I'm mightily disappointed in you. I heard that you skipped every class except homeroom—and that you even made a scene in that class. And particular reasons why?"

Naruto pointed to Gaara and dryly replied, "Him."

The teacher cast the red-head a curious look. "Sabaku? Is that true?"

Gaara didn't reply but crossed his arms and looked up to the ceiling.

The teacher turned to Naruto for an answer instead. "What did he do?"

Naruto threw his hands into the air. "Don't get me wrong—I _do_ love the ass—but sometimes—_Rrg_, I swear he has no maturity."

Brown eyes blinked at him questioningly.

Naruto sighed and rolled his eyes. "Long story," he muttered.

Deciding to let it slide for now, the teacher gave a jovial chuckle and said, "I'm Iruka-sensei. Since you're new, mind making an introduction?"

Naruto stood, looked around, and grinned. "Naruto Uzumaki—you better believe it!"

Gaara would have sighed at the introduction had he not been expecting it.

* * *

So Naruto figured that there was some sort of personal tension between that Uchiha figure and Gaara. Really, he did. He even had a little guess as to the depth of their… 'friendship.'

Nothing could've told him just how much the two hated each other more than the evil looks and snide comments. Oh, and the fact that they were almost constantly at each other's throats and were always looking for a reason to fight.

Naruto was ready to castrate them both by the end of the class.

Iruka had given a small lesson and handed out a small two-person project—Gaara had not verbally told Naruto they were partners, but he gave a glare to anyone who came too close to the blond and Naruto just knew that they would be working together due to the eleven year friendship they shared. Afterwards, the young teacher said that was all he had planned, so the rest of the period was a commons.

It was like allowing lions to freely explore a lamb's cage.

In other words, Murphy's Law just made a grand appearance—anything that could go wrong, went wrong.

The moment Iruka gave a small wave, saying he would be back in a few, and left, Naruto knew nothing good was going to happen. A tense silence formed. It was so charged with little particles of electricity, the blond thought he was going to go insane—or get electrocuted. After twenty-one seconds, Naruto felt ready to kill himself, just to stop the suspense. He couldn't _stand_ having to wait for something to happen.

"Dammit!" he swore. "What the hell do you two have against each other, anyway?" All he wanted was to have a nice year with his best friend. He didn't want his friend constantly glaring and glowering at some bastard.

Neither of the two replied.

"The hell?!" he sputtered. "Gaara, _dearest_, don't you dare ignore me!"

Mossy eyes flicked over to him. "I wouldn't dream of doing anything of the sort, _sweety_."

Naruto twitched at term of endearment. When they had been young, it had simply been a show of affection, but as they got older, it was merely a way to piss the other off. "Glad to know we're on the same page, toots."

And Gaara gave him a look. "…Toots?" he echoed.

The blond gave a sheepish grin. "It was either that or pumpkin."

"… How about we stop this childish game, little one?"

Naruto shrugged. "I will when you will, hon."

"Then stop and I will follow suit, foxy."

He would have like to deck the other. "I didn't know you remembered that, koi."

He was pinned with a glare. "Same goes to you, _pumpkin_."

_Oh, that_— Naruto mentally growled before giving a too-sweet grin. "I could go at this all day, mate."

"I don't think I'd mind that in the least, Na- ru- to."

… Alright… Gaara's mouth hadn't moved. So either he would make a wonderful ventriloquist or he hadn't spoken. Naruto voted for the second option, which meant—Hold the phone…

_That voice sounds familiar_! Naruto realized before turning to look into the back of the room. His eyes locked onto onyx and he felt his insides go numb.

"Leave him the fuck alone," the red-head hissed, suddenly right beside the blond.

Said blond blinked, very confused, before shifting his gaze between the Uchiha and Gaara a few times. Upon seeing they were both giving each other a death glare—only thing different about the raven's was that he looked a little smug about something—Naruto gave a defeated sigh. "Geez, you two couldn't go three seconds without leaping for the other's throat, could you?"

"I don't _leap_ for anyone's throat, dobe," the raven remarked.

Naruto was ready to make a smart remark on the 'dobe' that the bastard had thrown in, but instead turned to Gaara. "I see why you two are always fighting."

The blond received a dry look. "You are merely easy to rile up," the other commented.

"Oi!" he snarled. "I am _not_—"

"See my point?"

The blue-eyed boy froze and his breath takingly cobalt eyes widened as he realized his friend was _right_ before they narrowed and he ground out, "I repeat: I am _not_ easy to rile up. I am cool and collected. I am ice. I could beat you at your own game of death glare matches."

Gaara actually snorted. "I highly doubt it."

"Ah!" Naruto cried, leaping to his feet. "A challenge? I accept!"

Gaara stared for a grand total of seven seconds before he shook his head. "You are making a fool of yourself."

The blond crossed his arms cockily. "You just can't beat me."

The red-head would have snorted again had he not restrained himself from doing so. "You wouldn't last more than a minute before you got bored and lost."

"You wanna see just how long I'd last?" Naruto challenged.

The green-eyed boy gave a small exasperated sigh. "No, I don't. Baka."

"Oi!" the blond cried. "I resent that!"

"You're doing a fine job of convincing me otherwise," Gaara commented.

Naruto snorted before turning his attention back to the raven Uchiha for a second. Upon seeing that Gaara's focus was no longer on the dark-haired bastard, Naruto mentally patted himself on the back. But when his azure eyes lock with those bottomless onyx orbs, Naruto felt all the breath being stolen from him, leaving a sharp twinge in his chest. A slow smirk spread across those amazingly pink lips. It was a smirk that told Naruto _Let the games begin, then_.

He decided he didn't like that look.

Neither did Gaara, apparently. "Leave him the fuck alone," he growled again.

"My, my, what colorful language you have. I didn't do anything to him," the raven retaliated, his tone as unemotional as ever and slightly bored even.

Gaara was about to retaliate when Naruto cut in. "I don't believe we have been properly introduced," he called to the raven.

The dark eyes were upon him once again and another smirk was born. "Uchiha; Uchiha Sasuke." The blond could tell from his tone that he was supposed to have one of those "Ah-hah!" moments complete with the light bulb above his head sparking to life as he made the connection of the name to someone important. The blond made no such connection, however. He was now attending a school where everyone was at least a millionaire—excluding himself—so he didn't think it much mattered.

"And I'm Uzumaki Naruto. And now that we've been introduced, leave us the hell alone, Sasuke-teme."

It wasn't what anyone would call a _proper_ greeting for the start of a friendship.

"Same to you, dobe," Sasuke replied, looking like he was resisting the urge to roll his eyes or smirk at the new nickname.

But who said anything about friendship?

* * *

(1) Nine-fifty (American dollars): equivalent of about 1,050 yen (That's _expensive_ in both currencies)

(2) …Did you all get a certain not-so-innocent thought in your head when you read that? _xD_

**---**

**Well, there's the beginning of my first Naruto fic, so drop me a comment, ja? Merci beaucoup! The chapters are most probably going to be long—sorry? XD**

**And "Toxicum" is "toxic" or "poison" in Latin. **

**Anyhoo, please be so kinda as to drop off a comment, ne? **


	2. Insanity of Teachers

**Disclaimer:** If it was mine, there would be smex every chapter… Which would also mean almost no plot development but, eh… MEN SMEX would be worth it! XD

**Pairings:** SasNar, maybe some others later on

**Warnings:** _Mature language_, a_ character death_ later on, and there _is_ going to be some _hardcore YAOI_, yo! There, you were warned. If you are queasy about same-sex relationships or don't like foul language, there is a back button for a reason.

**2: **The Insanity of Teachers

Naruto had stomped out of school no where near happy. During the last three periods, despite his attempts, Gaara and Sasuke were constantly bickering.

That alone he could have handled.

But he found that his one teacher—Kakashi—was quite a fan of the poorly-written books that had _Icha Icha Paradise_ written in neat, slanted scrawl at the top. It just so happened that the blond was well accustomed to these particular books—despite the fact that they were strictly for those eighteen and over—due to the fact that his deranged uncle authored them (the uncle that was lost in the world somewhere doing 'research' and hadn't been heard from in well over twelve years). Naruto had kept his mouth shut about that one, however. The last thing he wanted was some annoying teacher harassing him for an autograph or a free sample of any new books in the series. Especially since he had only met his uncle once when he was not but four and that was merely to be told by Jiraiya that Naruto couldn't-be-taken-in-at-the-time-sorry-but-I'm-really-tight-on-money-at-the-moment.

The blond sighed for what had to be the umpteenth time that day. Sometimes his life _really_ sucked.

"What's wrong?" Gaara murmured as they walked away from the building Naruto dubbed a personal hell.

He shook his head. "Nothing… Oh, Gaara, we're going to have to make a personal night for just the two do us to do something. Wanna go to an arcade or something?" he suggested. However, at the look he received, he continued, "Or not… Okay, how about we go for ramen?"

"Eating ramen is your sense of fun, not mine," the red-head pointed out waspishly.

"Jeez, no need to be so polite." Naruto frowned before sighing—once again. "That leaves me with nothing… Unless…" Gaara didn't like the tone the blond was using—though he wouldn't admit it, it made him slightly nervous. Not even a god could tell what went on in the brick-thick head that belonged to the boy. "We have a movie night!" he cried excitedly. "With popcorn and candy and carbonated drinks and—"

"I would rather have a slumber party with the Uchiha," Gaara groused, jade eyes narrowing slightly at both of the thoughts.

Naruto looked put out. "It's not _that_ bad an idea."

The look he received from the other boy told him otherwise.

He pouted before jumping. "Oh, I need to get home before… _otousan_ gets there. Later, ne?"

"Mm," he hummed, lifting his had in a form of a wave.

The blond was barely out of view before Gaara frowned and his deep green eyes flicked over to his right. "What do you want, Uchiha?" he growled.

"Nothing," came the smooth reply as Sasuke, the Ice Prince(ss) himself, casually walked out from behind the thick pillars of the entrance gate.

"Bullshit," the redhead swore.

"Quite an interesting character," Sasuke mused as his eyes flicked over to where Naruto had been standing not more than a minute ago.

Emerald eyes glared at the raven. "Keep your hands away from him and don't even bother trying to talk to him," he growled. "He has nothing to do with us."

The Uchiha gave an amused chuckle. "I don't need him to have anything to do with 'this' to talk to him."

"Leave him alone," Gaara growled again, bristling slightly.

Sasuke looked like he was actually thinking about that for a second before he replied, "I won't bother him." The tone he used suggested he was almost insulted at that. "But when he comes to me begging for _something_, you better not do anything to dissuade him."

Gaara snorted. "He'll never have anything to go _begging _to you for."

Sasuke smirked as he turned to leave. "I wouldn't say that," he murmured to himself.

Despite the fact that he had mumbled that, Gaara's perceptive ears picked it up and his jade orbs narrowed menacingly. A sharp outtake of breath hissed between his teeth as he tampered down the temptation to bash something in—like the damn guy's skull. "You'll leave him alone or I'll definitely have to hurt you."

The raven merely hummed a "hn," and turned, leaving.

* * *

Naruto was nearly holding his breath as he unlocked his front door. He was hoping that there was no one home yet. Maybe his luck would hold out.

He pulled his key out of the door and turned the knob only to have it groan loudly in protest—_too _loudly for his liking—making the blond freeze. He half expected a neighbor to open a window and shout, "Turn off that door!" Taking a deeper breath, he pushed the thick wooden slab open with a rough push. Chewing on his bottom lip, he resisted another wince as it gave an angry squeak. Cue angry neighbor calls.

But—it was dark inside…

He gave a relieved sigh. They weren't home.

Naruto stepped in and slammed the door behind him. He then slipped out of his shoes and climbed up the stairs to his room.

While the couple who had taken him in weren't awful, strict parents, they weren't the kindest either. He had gone through a handful of homes before this particular couple had taken him in. They were looking for a son who was well behaved and earned good grades in school. Not that there was any hopeful parents-to-be who walked in and said, "Okay, sign me up for the brattiest brat you have. Hm? A juvie record? Ooo! I always wanted one of those! Hunh? Never received a double digit grade? Well, I _do_ have all my summer savings burning a hole in my pocket. Tutoring and summer school is _exactly_ how I want to use it." (Though the thought of that made Naruto grin—how awesome would it be to have a guardian like that?)

This particular couple was extremely pleasant. They were both polite and well groomed and had allowed Naruto to keep the name he had received from his birth parents—he always dreaded that his name would be changed if he was ever adopted. Even their names were pleasant—Mizuki and Tsubaki Touji (1). For almost a whole year, Naruto was able to live up to their expectations and managed to get some of the best grades he had gotten in his life. He even made sure to go out of his way to act well mannered. He found he liked his Mizuki-otousan and wanted to leave a good impression—it was lonely constantly changing homes, schools, and friends. He was never able to settle somewhere long enough to remember anyone's name.

That was what he hated most. The moment he was finally starting to wonder if maybe he had found a place that would keep him, they decided they didn't like him for some trivial reason ("look at his hair… Japanese children do _not_ have blond hair—or blue eyes. I asked for a _traditional_ Japanese child, not some Westerner"). Once he had been shipped back to his group home—calling them orphanages was strictly forbidden—the children he had been used to had all been shipped somewhere else and new faces where there, teasing and taunting him about not being wanted. After all, what normal child went through an average of six to seven homes a year? He had been put in with those "un-adoptables."

So when he _had_ found a home that he had stayed at for more than half a year, he was desperate to stay—though he wouldn't admit that out loud. And it wasn't like the others where after a month of trying the merchandise, if you're not satisfied, merely return the product and we'll either send you another or fully refund you. Note the sarcasm. He had given up on stupid humans. He had more than enough of them and he found himself hating everyone. Jibes and taunts from the stupid group-home kids was something he might have been able to ignore, but he knew he saw the group-home managers sneaking him looks; looks that said much more than any words could; looks that told him what they really thought; looks that let him see what they were _really_ thinking when they patted his head after being shipped back from some couple and murmured: "maybe next time, Naruto… the next time they'll see you for what you are…"

Looks like he was some sort of _monster_. What child deserved something like that?

Being adopted—finally—had felt good. The Touji couple hadn't even asked for some time to see if things would work out. They went straight for the adoption paperwork—completely taking the group-home managers by surprise. They had tried to explain that maybe it would be best to give it some time to see if it would actually work out, but the couple ignored them.

Naruto wasn't sure whether to feel incredibly thankful or bitter. But Mizuki-otousan had treated him so kindly at first that he wanted to bask in their love unconditionally. So he did. He acted like a perfect son. He acted like someone he wasn't. He went to school and tried in his classes. He tried to ignore the jibes that were sent his way. He actually thought he might be able to start a new life, but then—

That girl commented on how he was adopted and had to be a bastard—he still wasn't sure how the girl had learned the word—since he _had_ to be at least only half-Japanese and how no Japanese would marry a Westerner. She started to bug him about his parents—How did he_ know_ he wasn't a bastard? Since he hadn't met his parents, how did he know they weren't some low-life druggies?

He forced himself to deal with it. But a little kid only takes so much. And a little voice in the back of his head told him to _make them shut up—shut up PLEASE!_ He wasn't a bastard; he _wasn't_, and by the gods he was going to prove it to her.

When he came back to his sane state of mind, she had a broken arm—only a small fracture—and he had attacked the teacher that tried to break them up—not that he hurt the damn guy since he was barely six, but the ass made a huge thing about it. He was expelled. A kindergartener—expelled. Try explaining that one to parents.

Thinking it was merely because he was upset about a new environment, the Touji couple were understanding, moved to a small neighborhood on the other side of town, and tried again.

But the blond had some sort of knack of being a loser. The teachers were slightly put off with the fact that a little brat was expelled for fighting so they were wary of him—though he only fought someone when his mind went white, his sight went red, and he lost track of what he was doing. But the teachers treated him differently than the other students nonetheless.

He had hated that elementary school; there was only _one_ good thing that came from it—he met Gaara. The boy was his age and he was also looked down on; cast out.

The two quickly became best friends. Months went by and Naruto found that maybe he could adapt—maybe he could fit in—only to snap again in end of the third grade. He was expelled for the second time. Disgruntled, the Touji family tried _again_. But Naruto no longer had Gaara as a friend to lean on during class. He had no friends at any of the other schools and thus he snapped again after a few years. And again at the next school.

Years went by and the small family was moving every few years so Naruto could attend school. They were not pleased in the slightest with the new development. In fact, they were starting to regret adopting the blond altogether. Mizuki told Naruto he had to grow up and almost as if to prove a point told the boy he had to call Tsubaki and himself okaasan and otousan, dropping out the playful first name. Mizuki was also not pleased with the fact that he continually had to find new jobs to fit the new accommodations.

When Naruto turned thirteen only to snap again for the fifth time, Mizuki had had enough. He started to—not quite beat on the blond, for it wasn't abuse… It was more _venting_ of anger. Mizuki started to drink after work to try and relieve his stress. In his intoxicated state, Naruto discovered the man's tongue went loose. He was given verbal strikes.

And those hurt hell of a lot more than any physical blow.

So Naruto felt his childish adoration of his adopted parent fly out the window only to be replaced with nothingness. He didn't hate the couple—they had a right, in a way, to feel the way they did. But that didn't mean he had to like it.

The last time he had snapped… Someone had nearly died. His parents and the principal barely managed to keep it hush-hush and Naruto had been sent to the prestigious high school that Gaara currently attended. That part of it he liked, but… if he got expelled again, not only would no school accept him again, but his foster parents told him he'd have to find a new place to live, out of their lives.

Talk about pressure.

So Naruto was determined to never again let his temper get the better of him. He was a monster in a way, beating up on people, but he didn't remember any of it when he regained control of his mind. He was grateful for that, at least.

Naruto sighed before flipping on the lights. The dim room exploded into actual color and the blond threw his pack onto his bed and immediately logged onto his computer to do a little bit of light research on Uchiha Sasuke. Surely something would come up and he could see just what the bastard's problem was.

He pressed the enter button and waited as files upon files came up in the search results. His blue eyes skimmed through them and his thin brows knitted.

"What the—?"

He squinted at the screen, leaning forward slightly and looking closer to see if maybe he overlooked something. After a few seconds, he frowned and fell back in his chair. _No mistaking it…_ he thought to himself. There were absolutely no search results. Re-typing his search, he tried again. Same result. Frowning, Naruto merely typed in _Uchiha_ and let out a small triumphant cry as he clicked on the one and only result that popped up. It actually looked quite promising…

After skimming it, Naruto sighed before leaning back in his chair again. Sure, it was promising—if he wanted to know how some Meroko Uchiha had inherited some wonderful toilet, Old Bertha. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know how someone knew about that when he couldn't even find something about where Sasuke was born or his family—besides Meroko, but he wasn't sure if she was even related to the raven.

After unsuccessfully trying a few more searches, he threw his hands up in exasperation. There was absolutely nothing good on the raven—there wasn't _anything at all_, to be more specific. Making a mental note to ask Gaara what he knew about Sasuke or the name _Uchiha_, Naruto wandered downstairs, grabbing several cups of instant ramen and placing a pot of water on the stove. Tsubaki had stopped cooking a few years ago—three?—and just let everyone fend for themselves, buying groceries and letting Mizuki and Naruto make what they wanted as they pleased.

Naruto froze when he heard the door open and a pair of footfalls shuffle across the hall to the kitchen.

Mizuki was home.

* * *

There were times in his life when he wished to the gods he had listened to his family and gone to a decent college to get a more respectable diploma. His mother had been so adamant that he be a doctor, now that he thought back to it. He could still see her worry-lined face as she turned to him in the car the morning he decided to drop out so he could marry Tsubaki—he still had no idea why he had to_ quit _college to marry her, come to think of it. She had told him that she was proud and that he would always be her son. Thank the gods she didn't know he was going to drop school. He hadn't even told her; merely grabbed his stuff and said he was off to "better things."

But that was years ago.

Maybe the alcohol was getting at his brain again…

Shaking his head slightly, he ambled into the kitchen with every intent of popping several aspirin and then collapsing on the couch. His headache was enough to make an ostrich of stampedes hesitate. Or the other way around… Or something.

Groaning, Mizuki decided that he didn't care—he just wanted those stupid pills, gods damn it!

He nearly stumbled but caught himself with the door. He let out a queasy breath that oddly had a taste of vomit to it. He swallowed the disgusting taste and straightened himself. He immediately wished he hadn't, for the first thing he saw was _that damn brat_. He wouldn't be in this predicament if it wasn't for him. The stupid blond had more than screwed him over—he had had a wonderful, well-paying job that didn't require a degree and he had to drop it so he could _move away_ so the brat could _go to school_. How fair had that been? When he signed those adoption papers that were probably slightly yellow and stiff with age by this point, he had not agreed to _this_. All he wanted was a child who would behave and grow up normal.

Ten schools—including the one he was going to currently—in eleven years was not normal. Mizuki also hadn't signed up for the emotional rollercoaster. He _had_ cared for the boy when he was younger and maybe a small part of him still did, but… most of the emotions had hardened over. Was that _normal_?

Mizuki winced and made his way over to the cabinet, flipping the door open and fished around inside until he found the bottle that housed his best friend. He swallowed the pills dry—having a little trouble getting them down with his dry throat—and pocketed the bottle before turning to look at the blue-eyed boy.

Naruto was doing a good job of ignoring him, he saw. He was watching the pot of steaming water as if it were the most fascinating thing to have ever been invented—but with the way he gobbled down ramen, maybe it was. A throbbing head and a bad mood convinced him it was the boy's fault, as it always did. What it was that was the blond's fault slipped his mind momentarily, but he knew it was something big due to the fact that a hot, explosive anger was enveloping his chest.

"Boy," he snapped. He saw Naruto look at him through the corner of his eye, though he didn't bother moving his head to fully face the older man. That pissed Arashi off more than an insult could have. "Look at me," he hissed, turning his body so he was fully facing the idiotic brat.

Naruto, for a second, continued to ignore him before he gave a sigh and turned his head slightly. "What?" he asked in a neutral tone.

"Have you been kicked out yet?" The statement was simple and told Naruto just what his darling otousan thought of him.

"No," he replied casually, giving a small shrug. His eyes strayed back to the kettle and he turned away.

A small snarl evolved from the original sneer he had directed at Naruto. "Just like your father, I bet."

The blond would've liked to sigh. "You never met my father," he pointed out with non-existent patience. "So I highly doubt you'd know anything about that."

"I don't need to know him to know you're just like him. I saw a picture of those bastards that made you. You look _just_ like him. It's only natural you'd act like him, too."

Naruto stiffened. "What do you mean you saw a picture?" he sharply demanded.

Mizuki sniffed. "I don't see how it matters. I'm sure he'd be proud of how his son turned out just like him. I never would've believed that there was a _freak gene_ until I met you."

Naruto whirled, his eyes narrowing slightly. "What do you mean you saw a picture, you lying ass? There's no way you saw anything of the kind." Despite the fact that a part of him didn't believe anything the older man told him, the fact that there was a slight possibility that the man had an actual photo of his parents bugged him.

"The orphanage was willing to give us some background on you before we took you in. They were really trying to stop us from taking you, apparently. I still don't know why I didn't listen—you've been nothing but a thorn to me."

Naruto didn't let himself show his hope. "So you still have the picture?" He tried to sound casual, but it was obvious that there was slight desperation behind his tone.

Mizuki snorted. "And if I do?" he taunted.

"It's rightfully mine," Naruto snapped in reply. "So that means I—"

He was cut off by a wheezing laugh. "Yours?" he echoed followed by more laughter. "You have _got _to be jesting! His, he says," he cackled.

Naruto frowned and clenched his fists. "It _is_ mine. It's a picture of _my_ parents, not yours, so it's _mine_," he growled logically.

Mizuki snorted. "Give me a break, kid. I have it, so—Hey," he interrupted himself, blinking and letting a slow grin spread across his face. "How about I make a deal with you?"

Naruto wanted impulsively to say, "_Hell_ no!" but instead found himself muttering, "What kind of deal?"

"A simple one, really: you do whatever I say for a month—and you don't get into an ounce of trouble at school—and you'll get your picture. And I mean _whatever_ I say with no questions and you do it then and there."

Naruto ground his teeth together. "No."

Mizuki shrugged easily. "Then I'll just throw it out—I have no use for it," he said, watching closely for a reaction; it was so much fun to get the blond idiot all riled up.

And what a reaction he got. Blue eyes crackled dangerously as he dug his teeth down into his bottom lip to keep his temper—and his tongue that was battling his better judgment—under control as he deeply breathed to calm himself. "Why do you care so much?" he managed to ask, his voice deeper from his barely controlled rage.

That was all he needed to further rile the blond up—anger. "Geez, boy; what? Are you going to attack me? You know you'd never be able to actually hurt me, right?" He paused to give a hearty chuckle. "Why do you even try anymore? You do know that you're just going to be a failure in life, right?"

Naruto's eyes flashed. "Shut up."

Mizuki's left eyebrow rose slightly in genuine curiosity. "Why? Why should I when I'm telling you something you should know by now? It's hopeless, Naruto. You should know that."

Naruto would have disregarded the statement completely had the man not said his name. Arashi _never_ used his name unless he was having a once-in-a-blue-moon serious moment.

"Fine," he finally replied. "I agree. I'll do what you want me to for a month in return for my parent's picture."

Mizuki snorted before wincing, bringing his hand up to his burning chest. The alcohol was not being cooperative with his stomach. "Good," he grumbled before hastily scrambling out of the kitchen.

The pot on the stove sounded its shrill shriek, bringing the blond back to reality.

* * *

"I've always hated him."

The words were a little hard to absorb at first. Wasn't 'hate' one of the most powerful words in a language? (Yet despite that fact it was the one most often used—an irony Naruto knew a little _too_ well.) What exactly transpired couldn't be said. But the blond couldn't help but wonder if anyone _really_ had the right to use 'hate' in any context. And just what had happened to make those words reality?

"What happened?" Naruto murmured, eyes cast up to the small, wispy clouds as he voiced his thoughts.

"What does that matter?" a harsh voice demanded.

The blond sighed. "How long have you known him?"

"Since freshmen year." (2)

"Mm… any particular reason why you don't like the Uchiha?" Naruto asked a little hesitantly.

Gaara's expression didn't waver in the least—not that Naruto really expected it to. "I think we just have clashing personalities."

_Clashing personalities_… the blond repeated in his mind before snorting. "So do we and you don't hate me," he pointed out semi-logically.

"We—have the same eyes."

Alright, _that_ one made azure eyes blink twice in slight puzzlement. Just as soon as the confusion came, however, it vanished to be replaced with an adorable grin. "I suppose that's true," he grinned, reaching over and latching onto the red-head's cheek, pinching it like a middle-aged woman would a child she found adorable.

Gaara scowled at him. "Stop, dammit."

Naruto snorted when he saw that there wasn't any real threat behind the tone or words. "Like it actually hurt," Naruto retorted, grinning, before he blurted, "You have CIPA, 'member?"

Both boys froze right outside the door to their homeroom. Naruto was mentally bashing himself up in his mind—how could he have been so _stupid_?! The red-headed boy had always been a little self-conscious about the fact that he had such a rare disease. Naruto was one of the only people to know—he was pretty sure it wasn't even in the boy's records since no one knew he had it until Gaara turned four and no one had been told of the development. CIPA—or Congenital Insensitivity to Pain with Anhydrous—was something that Gaara had kept a secret from everyone. Basically, it meant his brain didn't recognize pain and thus never allowed his nerves to feel it. Gaara had put a shit load of trust in the blond to tell him something like that and that was why Naruto had never mentioned it.

"G- Gaara, I… I didn't mean for that to come o—"

"Tch, it's fine."

End of topic.

The bell rang then and Naruto jumped. "We're late," he hissed. His bright cerulean eyes flicked over to the other boy before he loosely grabbed onto his wrist and tugged. "Come on, baka, we have to get to class." He pushed the door open and winced slightly as it gave a small creak, very obviously announcing their arrival, causing every student to glance over in curiousness. The teacher, upon noting that everyone was looking in the same direction, also curiously flicked his gaze over only to stiffen when he saw just what it was.

"Ah, Uzumaki-san, I see you have decided to join us, ne? Isn't this a bad habit to have? You do realize that if you are late enough times—" He abruptly stopped when another figure slipped through the door and crossed his arms sourly.

"Please continue," Gaara commanded snappishly, his narrowed eyes trained on the man.

"D—Please take your seats. It's only been—It hasn't even been five minutes since school started."

Gaara didn't reply, but merely silently made his way over to his desk, Naruto towing in behind him. He—Gaara—glared at anyone who even looked at him or the blond in the wrong way as homeroom dragged on.

Naruto knew Lady Luck had turned her back on him yet again.

* * *

It was about the time that Naruto stepped out of his homeroom that he realized he had absolutely no idea where his first period was. He looked at his schedule, staring at the room number, and then starting glancing around like his first-period class was going to shout "Oo, oo! Me; me! It's me—I'm over here!" Or if the room wasn't in this hallway, some other room would kindly point him in the right direction and wish him a good day as he frolicked off to class.

As if.

"What the hell are you doing?" Gaara suddenly asked, breaking the blond out of his thoughts quite abruptly.

Naruto looked like he would rather not say, but after a second, admitted, "I don't know where any of my morning classes are."

The look the red-head gave Naruto suggested he had lost the last remaining strand of his patience—most likely he had with how annoyingly-Naruto Naruto was (if that made any sense at all). Deciding it wasn't worth the hassle, Gaara merely gave a pained sigh and muttered, "Come on then, I'll show you where your first class is—but you're on your own from then on, got it?" His tone left no room for argument, so the blond merely nodded.

Giving muttered curses, the red-head inspected the schedule in question before starting off, Naruto following, hoping that his friend wasn't going to get him even more lost—he wouldn't put it past the ass, though.

He was surprised when the said ass abruptly stopped in the middle of the hall. "What?" the blond questioned. When he received no reply, he tried again, "What the hell are you doing, Gaara-chan?"

"Your class?" Gaara said as question in a 'DUH!' tone.

Naruto blinked before swiveling his head to look over to wear the red-head was staring at. "Oh—thanks, man! You're a life saver! I'll see you after class?"

"_No_," Gaara drawled slowly, sounding like he was talking to a toddler who just couldn't get the concept of something—he had clearly said he was only helping the blond to his first class, dammit.

Naruto's grin fell and he scowled. "Then how the _hell_ am I supposed to—?"

"Shit…" a new male voice murmured softly.

A little surprised, Naruto looked over to see non other than the Dog Boy—Kiba—standing about ten meters away, looking like he had walked upon some terrifying murder.

"Eh—Kiba!" the blond exclaimed, his shock disappearing to be replaced with pure glee. "Whatcha doin' here?"

Muddy brown eyes jumped from Naruto to Gaara a few times suspiciously before he replied hesitantly, like if he said the wrong thing he would be decapitated or mutilated. "My class is right beside you…"

Blue eyes widened slightly before flicking over to the mentioned room then back to the wary boy. "Really? _That_ one there?"

Kiba gave him a look that suggested he had grown horns or some other unusual appendage. "That's what I said, isn't it? You need to learn how to listen, fuck."

Naruto snorted. "No need to get snippy, you bastard. I was just making a clarification; geez."

Gaara apparently had grown bored of standing around like a decoration. "I'll be leaving," he announced in a mutter in the blond's direction.

"Unh-uh, I don't think so."

Gaara paused and turned to face Naruto. "What?" His tone made it clear that he just wanted to leave—but the blond could also hear an almost unnoticeable (in fact the only person who _could_ hear it was most likely Naruto himself) hint of desperation; Gaara didn't like talking to anyone other than Naruto due to that fact that no one else accepted him like the blond did. Everyone else judged him.

For once, Naruto ignored the subtle message. "You can't just walk away from someone without an introduction," he pointed out.

"Er—" The sound came from Kiba so the blue eyed boy turned to look at him questioningly as a silent encouragement to continue. "I already know him, though. He's Gaara—Shukaku no Gaara; Sabaku Gaara. There's really no need for him to—"

Naruto frowned and that was enough for the Dog Boy to cut himself off. Cerulean eyes drifted over to the red-head. "But do you know _his_ name?"

Gaara gave Naruto a tight look. "I care not."

Naruto snorted. "And_ I_ care not whether you care not, so know what that means?" He didn't wait for an answer before continuing, "Yes, we are going to have a fluffy moment and skip into the sunset as we make some new friends. Gods, Gaara, no need to look like that. You _are_ going to do this. Good, now—come over here, baka."

Looking like it was the worst torture anyone could go through, Gaara complied and walked over to stand next to Naruto.

"Good, now, Gaara, this is…" the blond drifted off, a silent instruction for Kiba to fill in the sentence.

"Inuzuka Kiba," he said very reluctantly.

"Kiba, this is…" Naruto once again drifted off expectantly.

A long silence fell.

"Gaar- _ra_," the blond finally growled, obviously not pleased.

"He already said he knew who I was," the red-head replied a little waspishly.

A long sigh from the blue-eyed boy. "Kiba, this is Gaara," he muttered, more to appease himself than anything else.

Kiba hesitantly nodded.

"Now, Gaara, why do you suppose Kiba is scared shitless of you?" Naruto asked a little sharply, completely ignoring Kiba's indignantly roared: "I'm_ not_ s- _scared—_"

Green eyes flicked over to Naruto. "Isn't it obvious?" he dryly answered.

"It's obvious you're a pompous, arrogant ass who needs to _try_ and not send everyone fleeing for their health in frightened tears!" Naruto remarked hotly. "Gods, would it hurt you to treat _anyone_ decently?"

"I treat you decently," the red-head muttered—though his tone was still stoic, Naruto could _tell_ indignance was rolling off him in waves.

"But I'm the only one—" The blond was interrupted by the bell. "Don't move," Naruto instructed Kiba before turning his attention back to Gaara. "I want you to promise you'll actually act civil around Kiba." When the red-head made no move, Naruto growled, "_Now_."

Mossy green eyes narrowed at him before flicking over to the other boy. "I promise," he muttered.

And Kiba blinked in surprise before gaping at Naruto. "You're a _god_," he nearly exclaimed in awe.

"How so?" Naruto blinked in confusion.

"You tamed a _beast_—a scary one, too."

"Hey," the blond cried. "You need to treat him civilly, too, ya know. This goes both ways."

Kiba snorted. "I know; I'm not an idiot."

"Oh, I don't know 'bout that one," Naruto dryly commented to the Dog Boy's annoyance.

"Oi! I'll have you know I passed—"

"All your classes last semester; yeah, I heard it before when you said the same thing to Shino. Geez man, you need to make different comebacks." For a good measure, Naruto rolled his eyes.

"And you need to learn how to control your idiocy," Gaara grumbled.

Kiba snickered. "How true that is," he agreed.

Naruto gave the red-head a playful smack on the arm. Gaara gave a long-suffering sigh and merely said, "You have class, you know."

Naruto froze. "Oh. Shit." He nibbled on his bottom lip. "I'm late… Gaara, I don't _want_ a detention," he whined.

The red-head was ready to roll his eyes. "I thought you didn't need my help," he pointed out.

"Uh—_yeah_. But I don't want a detention even more."

Gaara didn't reply, but made his way over to the door, opened it, and gestured for Naruto and Kiba to go in, which they did, giving the red-head a look. He followed them in, giving the teacher no time to lecture either Naruto or Kiba. "They were with me, so forgive their absence." That was all the red-head said.

The man gave Gaara a look. "Hn," he hummed. He was one of the few teachers who weren't afraid to stand up to the infamous red-head. "I don't see why that is any excuse as to why I should excuse Inuzuka-san and—" He cut himself off as he looked at Naruto with slight surprise. "Are you by any chance the new transfer student?"

"Yep, that's me!" Naruto cried, pumping a fist. "Uzumaki Naruto!"

The man snorted. "Then I welcome you to Trigonometry 2. You can address me as Ibiki-sensei."

Naruto nodded. "Of course, Ibiki-sensei. I'll be sure to try my hardest."

The man snorted again before looking to Kiba. "What are you still doing standing? Get to your seats, you two. And you"—his gaze went to Gaara—"what are you still doing here? Don't you have your own classes to attend?"

Upon seeing that everything was under control, Gaara turned and left, the door slowly closing behind him.

And that was that.

"Dude," Kiba whispered once they had taken two empty seats in the back that were next to each other. "Gaara is awesome!"

Naruto flashed a grin and whispered in reply, "I know, right? He's the best. He always makes sure I don't get in trouble, he's always there to keep me under control, and he makes sure no one bugs me." Naruto stopped and frowned. "Though it's not always that wonderful to have someone else trying to fight your battles for you… gets kinda annoying after a while, actually."

Kiba snorted. "I can see why. Fuck, if someone did that for me, I'd beat them up."

Naruto chuckled. "A word of advice: Don't do anything like that with Gaara."

Kiba snorted again. "You think I'd be stupid enough to risk that?"

"Oi!" Ibiki called. "Inuzuka, Uzumaki! If your going to have a discussion in my class, try being less discreet next time—quite seriously. The school says I'm to start giving detentions to people who disrupt my class."

Naruto and Kiba mumbled their apologies before pulling out their notebooks to begin class.

* * *

"Oh, my _God_," Naruto groaned.

"I know," Kiba muttered darkly in response.

"No—_oh_, my _God_," Naruto repeated.

"_Yes_, I know."

"_No_—_oh_, my _God_," the blond repeated for the third time.

"_Yes_, I _know_," Kiba growled, patience thinning.

"No_—_oh, my _**God**_."

An animalistic growl—one that resembled a dog to Naruto's amusement—vibrated in Kiba's throat. "_Yes, I know!_"

"No_—__**oh **_my _**God**_—"

"FUCK, I KNOW!!"

Naruto rubbed his ears unappreciatively. "Geez, no need to snap like that."

"Well you wouldn't _shut up_," Kiba seethed.

The blue eyed boy frowned. "But oh, my—"

Kiba threw his hands in the air and let out a cry of frustration. "Naruto, I _know_."

The other shook his head. "No, you don't," he grumbled, crossing his arms.

"I was right there," Kiba pointed out dryly. "I also received the assignment."

Naruto's arms dropped and he groaned. "Oh, gods, Kiba. I'm going to go insane…"

Kiba grimaced, his mood doing a three-sixty. "Yeah, me, too."

"I'm going to go completely and _utterly_, one-hundred percent, as in good-bye high school, hello asylum, _insane_."

"And I'm going to be joining you, fuck." Kiba slid his hand down his face in exasperation.

Naruto gave a small whine. "Four… _four_ pages."

"I have to do it, too, shit-head," Kiba grumbled.

"But I _suck_ at doing those types of problems!"

Kiba winced. "Yeah… So do I."

Naruto huffed. "We are so screwed."

Kiba winced again. "Yeah, we are."

Both boys sighed.

"Well, come one, blondie. We have to get to our next class and we have to be on time—we don't have your guardian to back us up," the brunet pointed out as he continued down the hall at a brisk pace.

Naruto gave some grumbled curses before following his friend. "Where is our next class, anyway?" Both boys had discovered that they shared all of the same classes until lunch, at which point they both had different courses.

"Is Ibiki-san always so heavy on projects and homework?" Naruto questioned as they traversed through the school.

Kiba made a face. "I would like to say no, but I would be lying and thus giving you false hope."

Naruto gave a groaning sigh.

"Yeah, I know," the other agreed, shifting his backpack slightly.

"Is the next teacher as bad as him?"

Kiba snorted. "Genma? Are you kidding me? He hates grading things. He hates making worksheets. He hates writing up tests. He hates having to look over homework. Hell, he hates everything having to do with being a teacher besides the part where he gets to admire his students—_that's_ what you should be concerned about."

Naruto grinned as they stopped before the designated class room. "Ah, then he's an admirable teacher for that. It's not every day you find a teacher who will do anything for his students."

Kiba's hand froze on the door knob to the classroom and he gave Naruto a look that suggested he had gone insane. "What are you talking about? Didn't I say you _had_ to be concerned? He's nothing like that—well, he _kinda_ is… but what I meant is—well… Oh, just see for yourself!" Kiba finally ordered, thrusting the door open.

Kiba stepped inside and immediately made his way to a back seat. Naruto nervously glanced around, not sure what to expect from the 'Genma' character that he assumed was the teacher. Kiba had reacted a little oddly and Naruto couldn't help but wonder why…

"_OH!_" someone exclaimed. Naruto was about to turn around to see what had caused the person to cry out but found he had no time to as a pair of arms suddenly circled around his waist.

"What the fu—?"

"You're the new student?" the same voice purred in his ear.

Naruto yelped before slapping the arms away and whirling. "What the _hell_?"

He was greeted by a man who _couldn't_ have been older than twenty-five—he barely even looked twenty—with shoulder length brown hair. A small, wooden toothpick was dangling precariously between his lips.

"You're the new student, ne?" he asked again, his brown eyes dancing merrily.

"Uhhh…"

"Dammit, Genma, leave him alone!" Kiba roared from his seat.

"Aw, come on. You have to allow a poor man his pleasure!" the man—Genma, apparently—retaliated.

"Not when it involves molesting my friend!" Kiba snarled back.

Genma looked appalled. "Kiba, I am disappointed. Have I taught you no shame? You don't molest people, you dirty boy! You make themwant it and then beg for it. And besides, I'm a teacher—I can't have a sexual relationship with a student."

"Like that would stop you."

Genma frowned as he seriously mulled it over. "Actually… it would indeed stop me. Why would I risk a nice, high-paying job for a bed warmer?"

"Have you no shame?"

"… No?"

Kiba let out a long suffering sigh. Genma gave a grin that could have put the Cheshire cat to shame. Naruto wondered why he was in this particular class. Several other classmates were pondering what had happened in Genma's past to make him as he was.

The bell rang, bringing everyone back to the present.

"Well, as cute as Naruto-chan may be, I do have a class to teach. So, Naruto-chan—you don't mind if I call you that, right?—just take a seat back there next to—"

Though it wasn't the loudest sound at all—in fact, it was pretty much neat silent—when the sound of the door opening filled Genma's sharpened hearing, he swiveled his head to inspect it. "Ah, Mr. Uchiha. You're—late… Well, this is different." There was a three second pause before another one of those Cheshire-cat-to-shame grins broke out. "Oh, my God, you're late. Do you know what that means? Do you know what that _means_? That means—"

He was cut off as a small piece of white paper was shoved in his face. "Take the damn excuse note so we can start class," Sasuke ordered in his stoic tone.

Genma looked crushed. "Excuse note? No! We can't have this! Uchiha, throw it out the window and then pretend you lost it so I can—"

Sasuke—upon seeing that the man did not plan on accepting the paper he was holding out—released his grip on the note and whirled to take his seat as the small white sheet fluttered uncaringly to the floor.

Naruto's brow twitched as his gaze did a quick scan of the room. Genma's class was—_surprisingly_—quite full. There were only two unoccupied seats in the whole room. One was right next to him in the back of the classroom and the other was on the other side of the room more towards the middle. Three guesses were Sasuke decided to sit. Two don't count.

"Che; well if it isn't the dobe," Sasuke said softly to him, slipping into the seat.

"Sasuke-teme, go pout in your Corner of Sulk elsewhere."

One of those—they had to be infamous—smirks slowly formed on the raven's lips. "I have to say, I'm impressed you're talking to me like that."

Naruto pouted. "What did I do to deserve this?"

"Oi, Naruto-chan, Uchiha, are you climaxing?"

Naruto's brows crinkled at the question, slightly perturbed at being asked such a thing from a teacher. "…No?"

Genma rolled his eyes. "Then I shouldn't be hearing your voice." There was a pause before the older man's brow also crinkled. "I haven't made a proper introduction yet, have I?" He rolled his eyes and shrugged it off, continuing, "Oh, well. I'm Genma. Call me sensei and I'll have _different_ expectations of you than your regular teacher would." He flashed a grin that made it obvious as to what he was talking about. "Since you're new, I can assure you that was a hint to kindly not do so."

Naruto snorted. "I figured as much," he grumbled before realizing something. "Oh, what class is this anyway?"

"I feel slightly hurt. You don't even know what courses you're taking?" Genma looked ready to pout.

"Er… maybe?"

The man rolled his eyes, still grinning. "Latin."

"Oh," was all the blond said before some old, dust-covered thought managed to make itself known. "Wait—isn't that a dead language?"

Genma frowned as he thought about it. "Dead is such an evil word… I prefer 'unloved' or 'unappreciated.' "

Naruto frowned before giving a frustrated growl. "_Another_ subject I'm going to be failing."

Sasuke gave him a glance, one of his perfect eyebrows—did he wax them?—arching. "Are you truly that stupid, dobe?"

"Oh, shut up," the blond hotly remarked.

"Tch." His lips quirked up into a smirk again. "You _know_," he drawled, "I could act as a tutor."

Cerulean eyes narrowed and took on an icy hue, making them look blue-ish grey. "_No_, teme. In case you forgot, my friend is permanently pissed at you. I'm not even allowed to talk to you, apparently."

Sasuke gave him a look and something flickered in his eyes for half a second before disappearing instantly. It happened so fast Naruto had to wonder if he had imagined it. "So you listen to what others tell you, then, like some sort of idiot?"

Naruto bristled. "Hell, no," he spat. "What am I doing now but talking to you? I don't listen to what Gaara tells me unless I know there's a good reason behind it."

The Uchiha looked away, almost like he was bored. "Hn," he hummed.

"Why do I still hear you despite the fact that neither of you are in the midst of a passionate orgasm? Hell, you're not even semi-_undressed_."

Naruto gave Genma a withering look. "Screw you, too, Genma," he growled.

The man brightened. "Oh, my God. Are you offering? Cuz there's just no way I could disappoint you when it comes to something like—"

"Fuck!" Kiba threw his ears in a vain attempt to sensor out the words that Genma gushed. "I thought you said your job was more important than something like that! Keep your mind on task for once, you hypocritical perv!" (3)

"Che. It can't be an insult if it's true," Genma pointed out.

"Act your age," Kiba instructed.

Genma gave a sigh while mumbling about 'stupid dog boys interrupting his fun.' "_Salvete_," he finally told the class.

"_Salve_," most of them replied.

Naruto merely blinked. _What the hell? 'Sul-way?' That's not part of my language…_

Naruto was, indeed, screwed.

* * *

"That was _awful_," Naruto grumbled as he stomped through the halls to his next class.

Kiba snorted. "Not really. He seemed to have been having a good day—a sane day."

"You mean he gets _worse_?!"

"Che. This is Genma we're talking about. Of _course_ it gets worse." (4)

Naruto groaned. "Now I know why that old principal sent me here—he plans to _torture_ my soul!"

The brunet gave him a look. "What are you talking about?"

"Nothing," Naruto quickly assured.

Kiba "hmph"ed before his chocolate brown eyes landed on an unwelcome figure. "What the hell are you doing following us, anyway?" he demanded a little sharply.

Sasuke gave a long suffering sigh. "My class is also this way," he answered, sounding like he had much better things to do than talk to someone as lowly as Kiba.

"What Kiba means is, why are you walking with us?" Naruto piped in. "You could walk up there before us or behind us. So why _right_ beside us; not even a foot away from me." He managed to hide his irritation nicely he noticed a little proudly.

"Do you really care that much where I walk?"

Kiba growled. "Whatever. We're almost there, anyway."

As if on cue, Kiba stopped in front of a door, gripped the handle, and stopped. He bit his lip and looked at Naruto a little guiltily.

"What?" the blond demanded.

"Er—dude, I'm sorry to have to do this to you…"

Naruto blinked. "What?" he repeated.

Kiba swallowed, hardened his resolve, and pushed open the door. Naruto was slightly surprised when no fireworks shot out at them with the way the brunet was acting.

"Geez," the blond grumbled before stepping into the class.

"Oh! You must be the transfer, no?"

Naruto winced and resisted the urge to rub at his ears. Whoever had said that was _loud_, that was for sure.

"Er—yeah, I'm—"

"Oh, it's amazing that you're in my class! I must tell you that I am quite excited to be able to teach someone who looks as amazing as you! You have a youthful spirit—look at it! It just comes off you in waves!"

"Yeeeeah…"

It was then that Naruto noticed the man who was clad in a green spandex jumpsuit—how could he have missed seeing this man dressed as he was?—with black hair in a bowl cut. As if that wasn't enough, his eyebrows were quite abnormal. They were _huge_, no joke. They had to be the thickest substance on the face of the planet. Seriously.

"Gai-sensei!" Kiba barked, once again coming to the blond's rescue. "Leave the poor guy alone."

The door opened again and a loud cry of "GAI-SENSEI!" reverberated off the walls.

Naruto winced at the loud cry but noticed that the green thing's attention had been caught and that his grin grew even larger. "OH, LEE!" he cried, tears of joy filing his eyes. "ARE YOU READY FOR ANOTHER DAY OF YOUTHFUL KNOWLEDGE?"

"WITH YOU GUIDING ME, SENSEI, I HAVE BEEN PREPARED FOR ANYTHING!" the boy replied. Naruto noted that he looked almost exactly like the older man. He was even sporting the green spandex, nerdy bowl cut, and had huge eyebrows—though they couldn't properly compare to the older man's. Those things were enough to wipe out a nation.

"OH, LEE!" Tears poured out of the man's eyes freely now.

"GAI-SENSEI!" the boy—Lee?—cried back, tears of joy also filling his eyes and flooding down his face.

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"Naruto!"

Everyone turned to look at him.

"What?" the blond defended. "It was my turn by this point, right?" Naruto found he quite enjoyed butting into name-screaming matches.

The boy whose name had to be Lee turned to face him, a sparkle in his eye. "You must be the transfer!" he exclaimed. "Oh, how happy I am to know you! I have been eagerly awaiting your arrival! Do you know how happy I am to see you? You can not fathom, I tell you! Come, let us run around a hundred and fifty laps around the school to celebrate!"

"As much as I would… _love_ to run laps with you, class is going to begin, no?"

"Oh, but of course! Very well, then! At lunch we shall make our laps! I am Rock Lee, and I shall make sure you know just how lovely our time of youth is! Rock Lee always knows these things!"

"Ah. Okay then. I'm Naruto Uzumaki—"

"—Oh, what a lovely name—!"

"And I do believe you are cutting off the circulation of my arm."

Lee gave a hearty chuckle but backed off. "I shall see you after class then!"

Naruto winced before side stepping away from the loud rematch of "LEE!" and "GAI-SENSEI!" Apparently one round of it wasn't enough.

He saw Kiba and took a seat next to him.

"Gods… I think I like Genma more."

Kiba flinched. "Actually, I don't _know _which of the two is worse."

The blond sighed before he belatedly noticed something. "Holy hell! Shino! You're here!" He grinned.

Shino turned to look in his direction. "Yes, I regret to inform you. I am also in this course."

Kiba snorted. "He helps keep me sane, man. Without him here, I would've dropped this course, mandatory curriculum or not. He also helps me forget a certain bastard."

Naruto gave the brunet a look before following his gaze and groaned. "He's in this class, too?" he hissed. "What's up with my awful luck?"

Sasuke noticed Naruto staring at him and smirked before looking away.

"Fuck this…" the blond mumbled. "I think someone is playing some sort of joke on me…"

* * *

Never before had Naruto noticed that silence _was_ golden. Usually, the blond was the one constantly causing a ruckus but for once all he wanted to do was enjoy the moment.

Gai had announced in his booming voice that he was needed elsewhere during the last five minutes of class so it was a small commons until the bell rang.

"He's gone," both Kiba and Naruto muttered together.

"He has got to be the scariest man I have ever seen," the blue eyed boy deducted in a sigh as he slouched in his chair, exhausted.

Kiba nodded grimly. "I think he's scarred everyone for life, fuck."

"And dude, seriously, what's up with Sasuke-teme being in most of my classes?"

Shino shrugged. "Ask him."

Naruto groaned. "You," he whined.

"I'm not the one curious about it," Shino pointed out.

"Kiba?"

"I'd drop _dead_ before willingly talking to the piece of—"

The blond sighed. "Oh, _fine_, you guys. Be that way." He looked over at the bastard in question and frowned before calling, "Oi, teme!" It didn't take long at all for Naruto to realize he was being ignored. "_Oi_! Teme!"

When the raven continued to not even acknowledge him, he shrugged, stood, went over to where Sasuke was sitting, and promptly picked up Sasuke's book bag, plopped it on a desk, and unzipped it. He shuffled around inside for a few seconds before a pair of hands sharply grabbed a hold of his wrists, applying pressure.

"What are you doing?" Sasuke asked in a whisper that was full of animosity. The boy liked his privacy.

"Looking for your schedule," Naruto replied easily, continuing to pry around with his eyes. "I wanted to know just how many classes we have together but _someone_ wouldn't answer me so I had to move on to plan B."

"Plan B?" Sasuke echoed, lifting a brow.

"Well, you see, here's how it is: I had four plans lined up on how to get your schedule." He looked quite proud about that one.

The raven sighed. "Why am I not surprised?" he muttered before pulling a paper out of his pocket and holding it out.

Naruto blinked at him. "Eh?"

Sasuke let out a sigh and rolled his eyes. "My schedule? You wanted to see it?"

The blond blinked. "Your pocket's a weird place for it to be," he pointed out.

"For you I'm sure. I have fan girls to worry about, however," the raven dismissed.

Naruto snorted. "I highly doubt that."

"Hn. Dobe."

"Teme," Naruto retaliated.

"Usuratonkachi."

"Teme."

"Baka."

"Teme."

"Is that the only insult you know?"

"Teme," Naruto firmly repeated, finally bringing the schedule up to his face so he could read it. Sasuke "hn'd" as the silence in the room once again fell.

That silence didn't last more than three seconds.

"Eh?!" Naruto screeched, dropping the paper like it was poison. "The only time I'm _not_ going to see you is during homeroom and first period! What the _hell_?"

Sasuke grunted, picking up the offended sheet of paper from its place on the floor.

"Not. _Fair_," Naruto whined.

"Isn't it a little immature to say something like that?" Sasuke asked dryly.

"Hell, no. Uzumaki Naruto never does anything immature—he just does whatever he feels like doing!"

"Does he feel like sitting his ass back down in his seat?" Kiba called, grinning.

"Oh, ha ha; laugh it up, Dog Boy."

"You know, I _really_ need to get you a different nickname. Blondie isn't cutting it."

Naruto was about to stick out his tongue when the bell rang.

"Sweet Jesus!" Kiba cried. "The torture is finally over!" He grabbed his bag and flew out the door almost immediately.

"Enthusiastic-much?" the blond mused to Shino, laughing.

"That's a good way of putting it," Shino agreed.

* * *

"… Kiba, I swear to the gods, he got his rabies shots."

"_No_."

"Why the hell not?"

"I _like_ my life as it is. I don't have going to the hospital on my to-do list."

Naruto huffed. "He's _harmless_."

Kiba snorted. "I beg to differ."

The blond pinned him with a glare. "Gaara promised to act civilly around you," he reasoned.

The brunet shook his head stubbornly. "_No_."

Shino shifted from one foot to the other. "Please just sit somewhere. I _am_ getting tired of standing."

Kiba frowned. "I'm not going over there, Naruto."

The blond gave an impatient sigh. "Look, I'll get him to promise not to touch you, okay? He'll leave you alone if I tell him to—hell, he doesn't even need that. He doesn't make a habit of beating people up for no reason."

Kiba paused before letting out a pained noise. "If I _do_ die, I better hear a fucking tear-jerking speech on how wonderful I was—and I want marigolds at my funeral, _not_ roses."

"I'll make sure to take note of that."

Kiba took a deep breath. "Okay, let's go—I'm ready."

Naruto resisted the urge to thwack the boy as he led them across the room to the table that only occupied Gaara. He flopped down across from the red-head. "Yo," he greeted before giving Kiba a sharp look to sit down. The brunet did so, returning the blond's glower. With Shino on his left and Kiba on his right, Naruto turned to Gaara. "Hey, panda-face, I need some help."

Green eyes flicked over to him questioningly.

Naruto wasted no time in zipping open his book bag and pulling out a thick text and note book with a pen tucked under the cover, throwing them at the red-head. "Page one-fifty-eight to one-sixty-two," he said.

Gaara hummed in response before flipping the two books open. Upon inspecting the damage, he picked up the pen and started to nonchalantly write something.

"Is—is he doing your homework?" Kiba asked, completely in awe.

Naruto frowned. "No, stupid. He's just doing a problem or two so I can understand it."

"Oh. Cool." Kiba looked a little surprised. "Does he, uh, do this often?"

"Only all the time," Naruto replied, smiling cheekily.

"NARUTOOOOO!"

"Fuck." Blue eyes widened in horror before he dived under the table. "I'm. Not. Here," he hissed.

"Ah, Kiba-san!" an overly cheerful voice boomed. "Have you seen Naruto-kun?" The blond was very surprised that the boy wasn't screaming as loud as possible. Curiosity gnawing, he peeked up from under Kiba's legs—wrong as that sounded—to see those impossibly round eyes were stuck on something on the other side of the table. Naruto blinked before realization dawned.

_Lee's also a little wary of Gaara…_ He had the urge to snort. Why did everyone just assume the red-head was going to kill them when they didn't even do anything? Much to their surprise, he could confidently say that Gaara wouldn't hurt anyone unless there was a good reason for it.

" 'Fraid I haven't," Kiba replied. "I think he had to see the teacher after last period—you know how Raido-sensei likes to give pointless lectures."

"Ah…" Lee actually looked disappointed. "Well then tell him that I'll see him tomorrow if you see him before me, yeah? Ja!"

"Is he gone?" Naruto hissed.

"All clear," Kiba assured.

"Gods!" the blond cried, pulling himself back onto the seat. "I hope he doesn't do this every day."

Kiba snorted. "It would be amusing for me."

Naruto pinned him with a dirty look. "Shutting of the uppy is in the process at this point." (5)

Kiba was about to retort when two books were thrown, landing between them with a _thump_ that made both of them jump. They stared at the pile for less than two seconds before a pen also flew through the air, landing almost comically with no noise on top of one of the books.

Naruto blinked before turning to Gaara who was poking at some of the rice in his bento. "Thanks man," he murmured sincerely before pulling the books and pen in front of him before grinning slyly at Kiba. "See why he's the best?"

"Tch. No need to rub it in. But, dude, are you, like, smart or something, Gaara?"

Instead of replying, the red-head nudged a container in the blond's direction. Naruto immediately gave a whoop of joy and dived for it. "See why I love him?" he nearly squealed, ripping off the lid to reveal ramen.

When the blue eyed boy leaned over the table to pluck the chopsticks out of Gaara's hands, he received a withering glare. "I made sure to pack you a pair of your own," he informed Naruto.

"Oh," he dumbly uttered, seeing the pair of chopsticks next to his meal. "So you did…"

Kiba rolled his eyes as noodles were immediately devoured at an inhuman pace, a few stray strings of it flying up around the blond as he tried to slurp the whole meal into his mouth.

"Is he always like this?" the brunet murmured, slightly amused, to Gaara.

Green eyes met Kiba's brown. "Mm," he hummed in response.

Somehow, Kiba knew that was a yes.

"I think I like him even more," the brunet laughed at Shino.

Shino's head turned to face his friend. "But of course. He _is_ quite the interesting character."

Kiba snorted. "You make it sound like he's some part of a story… Er, I don't think even I would want to read something that he's part of. Could you see him in a book? He's ruin the whole thing!" (6)

"But of course." Shino wasn't sure he actually agreed. But either way, the school year _definitely_ just brightened.

* * *

(1) Mizuki and Tsubaki Touji: Nope. Not original characters. Most of you know who Mizuki is. Tsubaki was introduced as his fiancé around episode 146. And look! I found Mizuki's last name! :D

(2) In Japan, high school is usually grades 10- 12 (9th is considered junior high). But there are a few schools that have 9- 12th grade. This is one. So Gaara and Sasuke have hated each other since 9th grade.

(3) The nickname that Kiba dubbed Genma with, as you can tell.

(4) No joke there. Genma can/does get worse. much worse. He has my friend's humor, and my friend is… shall we say… a pervert? xD _NOTE_: this Genma o' mine was inspired by FastForward's Genma… Cuz her Fics are the only one with him constantly there, really… And, ya know, her writing's all influential and all that jazz.

(5) That's actually how I say shut up sometimes. Just in case you couldn't figure out what he was saying (As certain friends of mine can't -another indelicate cough-).

(6) Er… yeah. But of course. That line came naturally and I realized just how… ironic (?) in a way it was. Did you find it… I don't know—redundant?

---

**Drop off some comments, ne? XD They feed my soul! **


	3. Silence

**Disclaimer: **Peeps, if I have to scrounge together a few dollars to buy my lunch every day, do think you _think_ there's a possibility of me owning it...?

**Pairing: **SasNar

**Warnings:** _Mature language_, a_ character death_, and there _is_ going to be some _hardcore YAOI_, yo! There, you were warned. If you are queasy about same-sex relationships or don't like foul language, there is a back button for a reason. x3

**IMPORTANT: I have decided that Arashi and Sasame Fuuma are being deleted from this story. In their place is going to be Mizuki and his fiancé, Tsubaki. So, basically, Mizuki is going to be Naruto's foster father. I went back and made changes to the chapters accordingly. **

**Chapter 3:** Silence

Kiba lived a little farther than normal from school. While it was only about a fifteen minute ride, it was a good hour or so walk. So he rode a car. Shino was active in several clubs so he stayed after school every day for a few hours to devote himself to those. Gaara, currently, had to do a few days' service for starting a fight with someone who was harassing him—not that anyone knew about that last part; they all assumed it was another victim of the red-head's endless rage.

The only person left was Lee. And there was no way Naruto would even _consider_ the mini-green monster a candidate.

So Naruto walked home alone.

It wasn't that big of a deal, really. He had always walked home alone, save for the small while in grade school when he went to the same school as Gaara. He had grown used to walking alone. It used to bug him when he was younger as it would any child, but he no longer thought anything of it.

But it was still nice for company.

"Tch, baka," Naruto mumbled to himself as he walked through the gate.

"I couldn't possibly agree more."

Naruto whirled. "The hell are you doing sneaking up on me!" he snapped, embarrassed at being caught off guard.

Sasuke smirked. "You look lonely—where's Sabaku?"

"None of your business."

"Hn. Did he get in trouble again?"

"Just shut up."

"Tch." The raven threw him a look. "This is… unfortunate."

Naruto met his gaze. "Eh?"

Sasuke's expression changed—Naruto wasn't sure how exactly, as his face didn't move, but it did. It was suddenly even harder to read into what the guy could've been thinking—if_ that_ was even possible. "So you'll be going home alone?"

"Yeah…"

"Do you want company?"

The blond gave Sasuke a look, not sure how to take that. "…No… Yeah?"

"Well, which is it, dobe?"

Naruto crossed his arms. "Why would you do something like that? Do you even live near me?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Of course I do. Why would I waste my time?"

Naruto looked satisfied with that answer for a second before giving him a sharp look. "How the hell would you know where I live?"

"I overheard Sabaku talking."

"Oh… well, okay then." The blond shrugged.

"So…?"

"So what?"

Sasuke swallowed an annoyed sigh and just started off. Naruto blinked in surprise before staring after him for a few seconds, not sure whether or not to follow. He shifted his weight before letting out an impatient sound and jogging to catch up with the raven.

"So you did decide to join me," the dark haired boy commented.

"Oh, shut up, teme," Naruto grumbled in response.

"Hn."

There was a silence that was neither awkward or comfortable that lasted for almost forty-five seconds before Naruto decided he was tired of hearing nothing. "So…" he began before drifting off, not sure at all as to what to say. Dark eyes watched him through peripheral vision.

"Er—so… since we're seniors and all, what do you plan on doing after high school?"

Sasuke didn't answer.

"Oh, okay. That sounds good then."

Silence was his reply.

"Well… then… are you in any extra curriculum activities?"

The raven decided he didn't need to grace the blond with an answer to that, either.

Said blond gave Sasuke a sharp look. "Yes. I agree. That _does_ sound like something fun to join."

A pause.

"So… where do you live, anyway? You said you lived near me, right?"

This time Naruto wasn't at all surprised when his only answer was the twittering of birds.

He tried not to grind his teeth in frustration. "It must be a nice home. Sounds lovely."

It was around this point that Naruto realized he was mostly—completely—talking to himself, looking like a complete idiot, no doubt.

"It's not as wonderful as some may believe."

Naruto yelped, nearly having a heart attack as his head whipped in Sasuke's direction. "Holy shit—you spoke!" At the raven's withering look, Naruto shrunk back. "Alright; alright; I get it. Sorry. Geez… so, anyway, care to elaborate?"

Sasuke shrugged. "Nothin'."

Naruto scowled. "It's not nothing."

The raven didn't reply.

A groan escaped his lips as his blue eyes drifted shut. "Gods, you are _such_ a bastard."

"Hn."

"Yeah, yeah. _Hn_ to you, too." Naruto was simply horrible at mimicking Sasuke.

There was silence again. The only sound that could be heard was the gentle scuffling of their feet as the walked on the concrete. Naruto's brow was furrowed slightly as he thought, for once taking advantage of the peacefulness.

Finally, he spoke, but not used to breaking things like silence, it could not be blamed on him for what he blurted. "What are you?"

"What?" The raven gave him a look.

Almost immediately, Naruto took in a sharp breath and slapped both hands over his mouth, coloring to a light shade of pink.

Sasuke continued to stare at him from the corner of his eye. As the blond's hands fell from his mouth, Sasuke tried again. "What was that?"

Naruto shook his head. "Nothing."

"It's not nothing."

"Oi! You can't go stealing my lines!" he burst in reply, slightly relieved at the excuse to change the topic.

"Hn." Onyx eyes flicked over to him. "Dobe."

Impulsively, Naruto's tongue flicked out in quite an immature gesture. "Teme," he retaliated before huffily turning his attention back to his path. "Oh," he murmured, "my house is right up there."

"Hn."

"Geez, don't overexert yourself."

"Hn."

"That was a joke."

"Hn."

Naruto sent him a sharp look. "You _are_ infuriating."

"Not something I don't already know."

"Ha! Look who actually spoke!"

Pause.

"…Hn."

Naruto gave up there.

Another pause.

And for once, Sasuke broke the silence. "You're a _transfer_, right?" he started in an unsure—hesitant—tone.

And suddenly the twenty meters between him and his house was suddenly the largest distance Naruto had ever seen.

"Yeah," he replied just as hesitantly, hoping—praying—that was all Sasuke wanted to know.

"Hn." Pause. "Did you move or something?"

Fifteen meters. _You can do this, Naruto! _he mentally cheered himself on.

"Yeah."

"Well—why? What I mean is, any particular reason?"

Ten meters. And closing.

"Well—yeah. There is." He made sure to not elaborate, hoping the Uchiha would take a hint.

Sasuke did no such thing.

"Hn. Like what?"

Naruto decided he hated the raven. While Sasuke's questions would make anyone believe he actually wanted to know, his tone was completely uncaring and stoic. He couldn't care less what the answer was—he was just poking to pass time. He was, however—unknowingly—poking a sore spot without even caring that he was doing so—or knowing that he was, but Naruto ignored that last fact.

Five meters. Naruto quickened his pace slightly.

"Like… stupid reasons. It's nothing, really."

"Hn. It's not noth—"

Naruto never knew he would've been so happy to see his front door. "Listen, teme," Naruto snapped, cutting Sasuke off. "You need to stop stealing my lines."

Sasuke gave him a look that suggested he had grown some extra appendage. "It's a fairly common expression, baka."

Naruto huffed, crossing his arms. "Are you done yet? If so, I have a _lot _of homework to work on."

"Hn."

"Oh, goodie. We're back to that." When Sasuke's only reply was a slightly sour look, Naruto rolled his eyes. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Sadly."

"Oi!"

"Later then, dobe."

Naruto relaxed and grinned. "Yep."

They both turned and continued on their way. Sasuke, when he turned the corner, stopped in his tracks and flipped out his cell, hitting a speed-dial button and waiting for someone to pick up.

"Wazzup?"

"Kakashi."

"Ah, Sasuke… wazzup?" he repeated, his original question still not answered.

Sasuke leaned against the building behind him. "I need a ride."

"I'm in the middle of a chapter."

The raven closed his eyes and made sure to keep his temper from snapping. "Put the damn book down and get over here to pick me up!" he ordered sharply.

"Where are you, anyway?"

"Down by the police station."

Kakashi was silent.

Sasuke frowned. "Kakashi?" When no one answered, he growled, "Kakashi? Are you even—"

His was cut off by a giggle. A _giggle_ of all things.

"Put. The damn book. _Down_."

"Ah, don't worry. I'll send someone over right away. What were you doing anyway?"

"Stuff."

"Mm. Of course. I should have been expecting an answer like that."

"Shut the hell up and get someone over here."

"Will do."

The line went dead.

It was times like these Sasuke wondered what the hell he had been thinking, allowing himself to be raised by the man.

* * *

For the first time in a long time, Mizuki was home before Naruto. And for the first time since he was ten, Tsubaki was home before Naruto was fast asleep in REM mode. It had been a long time since all three of them had spent any amount of time together. Hell, it had been years since they were all in the same sentence. Tsubaki had made sure of it. While she didn't hate the blond as much as Mizuki did—in fact, she still had a small, miniscule soft spot for him—she also had to deal with the side effects of his constant expulsions just like her husband. But she had never lost her job because of it like Mizuki did. She had kept the same job that she always adored—being a nurse at the largest hospital in the area. Probably the only reason why she wasn't on such bad terms with Naruto was because they barely ever saw each other. 

But tonight, Tsubaki was home several hours too early for it to be on purpose. It was hard enough to get her to leave 'her hospital.' She worked from mid-morning to the early hours of the next morning. Bluntly put, she was escaping her troubles and the war that was waging between Mizuki and Naruto by working twenty-four seven if possible. Not healthy at all, but it had been routine. She had broken the routine by arriving home at almost eight on the dot.

To top things off, Tsubaki was _mightily _upset.

That meant she was going to be venting at anyone and anything that was in front of her.

That meant that Mizuki would be in an even worse mood than usual.

This all equaled to a miserable Naruto.

The blond closed his eyes and let his forehead fall onto the table of his computer desk as he heard Tsubaki snap about some trivial thing that was bugging her—the crumbs on the counter—and then burst into tears of rage as she started a shouting match that Mizuki was in no way going to join. Instead, he spoke softly to her—reminding Naruto just how much he cared for his precious wife and leaving a hot trail of envy in his chest—and tried to calm her down.

"Stop it!" she shrieked, her voice easily carrying down the hall to Naruto's room. "I _am_ calm, dammit! Leave me _alone_!" She sobbed. "Gods, just leave me alone."

More soothing words. More screams of frustration—though Naruto couldn't tell what had riled her up since she wasn't saying.

"I can't _stand _it anymore!" Tsubaki cried shrilly. "I just _can't_. I… I… I…"

Despite the fact that he didn't want to be around this whole mess, when his foster mother started stammering in a broken tone, he slipped down the hall so he could hear better.

"What's wrong, 'Baki?" he heard Mizuki whisper softly with genuine concern.

"I—I…" Tsubaki stuttered, her voice slightly muffled. Most likely Mizuki had pulled her to him to console her with his touch.

There was a pause in which the only thing Naruto could hear was his foster mother's erratic breathing. Finally, she whispered so softly that Naruto had to lean forward to hear: "He died…"

Was Tsubaki getting upset because a patient lost their fight and passed on?

"He died, Mizuki-chan… I couldn't do anything." Her voice was barely a whisper.

Apparently she was; though this was unusual. Patients died everyday. That's why doctors and nurses were told not to make strong bonds with patients whose chances were slim. That's why their golden rule was to keep a strictly business-like relationship between themselves and patients. Naruto knew that because when he was little, Tsubaki used to tell him how she hated that rule because under it she wasn't able to properly take care of her patients.

"Who died?" Mizuki asked gently.

"I mean I—I never liked his brother because—because he was such a trouble maker… but he was such a good kid. He was in college… he—he had a _future_."

Mizuki didn't say anything as Tsubaki sobbed.

"And—And his brother was never a good influence on Naruto. I knew that. That's why I tried to—to cut off their communication with each other. I felt bad about that when I found out it was his k- kid brother. I did… and now he died because I _couldn't_ do anything. I just _stood_ there as his heart starting giving out on him _staring_. I just _stared_ at him, Mizuki-chan! He was dying and I stood there for at least three minutes _gaping_ like a fish! I couldn't remember my training _at all_." She was just rambling at this point. Naruto twitched at hearing his name. Who was she talking about that died?

"That's not like you…" he murmured to her. "What happened?"

She sucked in a strangled sob. "M- Mizuki-chan…"

"Hm?"

"M- Mizuki—I—uh…"

"What?"

Tsubaki let out a shaky laugh. "Looks like the gods _did_ listen to our p- prayers about having children."

There was a pause as Mizuki most likely just stared at her. Even Naruto was slightly confused. "What do you mean by that?" Mizuki finally asked.

"I _am_ able to get pregnant."

"Are you—are you saying that—?"

"I'm pregnant," Tsubaki clarified softly.

Naruto's mind went upside down then.

"Then—then—we don't need the boy!" Never had the blond heard his foster father sound so happy.

"What are you talking about?" Tsubaki snapped. "Of course we need Naruto—he's family!"

"That boy is no more family than—"

"She's dead," she hissed suddenly.

"What?"

"She—she's dead…"

"What are you talking about?" Mizuki's tone was once again soothing and gentle.

"The- The baby… She's dead…"

Silence enveloped the room, heavy and foreboding.

"The baby's dead, too, Mizuki-chan… I'm going in tomorrow for surgery to remove the dead fetus. I- I lost both my child and an innocent young man… I wonder what his family will do… He doesn't have parents… That Gaara boy will be so upset…"

She broke down into sobs.

And Naruto backpedaled to his room as something sank in. He slammed the door shut and leaned against it as his legs gave out. He didn't hear Mizuki's yells of misery or Tsubaki's sobs.

All he knew was that a boy who was the brother of one of Naruto's friends had died. And before today, Naruto only had one friend. Gaara. Sasame had even mentioned him through her babble. And it just so happened that Gaara had a brother.

And now Kankurou Sabaku was dead. Gaara's small family had just shrunk yet again. Gaara's parents had died just a few years ago, and the wound that had left on the Sabaku family was still open and oozing. The parent's fortune had been given to Kankurou and Temari to invest and use. Kankurou had never been the healthiest of the bunch, constantly getting colds and stomach bugs, but… Naruto didn't know that he had been in the _hospital_. He swallowed as realization sank in.

Sometime tonight Gaara and his sister would receive the dreaded phone call from the hospital. They might have already been informed. Naruto's eyes fluttered shut as he mentally comforted the red-head as though he were right there.

Something shattering broke him from his thoughts. His foster mother said she was going out for some air. Mizuki told her to come back safely. The front door opened and then shut. A silence formed again. Naruto felt bad for Tsubaki. The reason why the couple had decided to adopt a child at all was because supposedly it was nearly impossible for Tsubaki's weak womb to conceive.

Supposedly.

Suddenly, the door that had been supporting Naruto was ripped from behind him and he landed sprawled on the floor.

"Bwah—?"

"You," Mizuki hissed, glaring down at the boy, hands tightly fisted at his sides.

Naruto blinked. "Me," he repeated dumbly.

The older man bent down so that his face was closer to the blond's. Naruto could very-much-so see the fire burning in those darkened eyes. "You're the one who gave Tsubaki such stress."

He blinked. "Eh?"

Mizuki sneered. "It's hard for Tsubaki to get pregnant. It was a miracle that she conceived at all. But her body rejected the fetus because her nerves were so racked with stress; stress that _you_ caused." His voice was deathly quiet and calm.

Naruto's eyebrows furrowed for a second before shooting up as he gaped. "You think _I'm_ responsible for the kid's death?"

"I don't _think_ anything—that's exactly how she explained it."

Naruto flinched before giving a shaky glare. "Liar," he weakly replied, not in the mood for a fight.

Mizuki's eyes held no emotion but pure agony. "Why?" he asked softly, his voice almost cracking. "Did I do something…? Is that why you're trying to ruin my life? You just destroyed my chance at having my own child…" Mizuki shook his head, struck by the realization as though it was something purely foreign. It was the first time in years that Naruto had seen the man so exposed and he had to avert his gaze and swallow the burning lump in his throat.

The look didn't suit the proud man.

"You're an omen." The words were spoken with no emotion. The agonized tone was gone. The broken eyes were sealed away to be replaced with a trace of intense anger. "You—"

He didn't finish his sentence but instead whipped his fist down and delivered a fierce blow to the side of Naruto's face. The blond numbly noted that it was the first time in a long time that his foster father had hit him. He then realized that many things had happened for the first time in a long time that night.

"Why?" Mizuki hissed, giving him another blow to his other cheek, making his head whip to the other side with the velocity of the blow. "Why?" Another vicious hit. It soon became a pattern:

Why; punch; why; punch; why; punch; why; punch; _why_; punch.

Soon Naruto's face was a tingly numb and Mizuki's knuckles were swollen from the effort. The older man's breath was labored and he was bent over slightly from the exertion. The fact that Naruto was lying peacefully on the ground with absolutely no expression in his face or posture fueled Mizuki's wrath. He wanted to see what the boy would look like if he felt pain, mentally and physically—but his eyes were safely hidden from prying eyes by his golden locks.

Frustration welled in him as he looked down at the boy—the brat who wasn't showing any hint of hurting; wasn't allowing Mizuki the thrill of knowing he had done damage.

That made him feel stupid; and weak; and—and ashamed. Ashamed for many things. Ashamed for dropping college; ashamed for running away from his family; ashamed for eloping; ashamed for not being able to help the thing that was now dead that could have been his child; ashamed for failing his wife.

His mind snapped. His fists trembled as he dug his teeth into his lip. He stood like that for a few seconds before doing something he would never regret, though he would probably never think about again.

His trembling, clenched fist made contact with a smooth stomach and he felt the skin under the shirt buckle in under his knuckles, digging into internal organs. The blow—surprisingly—made no noise. Naruto didn't let out a pained sound. He didn't lose his breath. He didn't do anything to stop the older man. The only movement that came from him was a twitching of his fingers.

Silence hung heavy around them as another blow was given. Then another. Then another followed by another and another. Nothing could have been more agonizing than the silence. It meant that no one was going to save him—it also meant that no one would. There was nothing around to help Naruto; nothing but Mizuki and himself.

* * *

The door opened and immediately dark eyes snapped to the door. 

"Uzumaki," the teacher hissed. "You're _late_."

The blond didn't reply but just walked over to his seat and plopped down.

"Acknowledge me when I talk to you, boy!"

"Mm," he hummed, his gaze shifted over to one empty desk in particular.

"I'm pinning a detention on you for this afternoon. You'll clean the school," the teacher told Naruto, a smirk in place. "And there's no way for you to back out of this one—that guard dog of your's isn't here today."

Naruto's face was impossible to read. "Leave Gaara outta anything having to do with me."

"Tch." But the older man said no more on the red-head.

Naruto's cerulean eyes traveled to the desk next to him where Gaara usually sat. It was empty. While Naruto would usually have merely guessed that his friend was just late, he himself had made sure to be extra late today—twenty-five minutes late, to be precise. If Gaara was going to show, he would have already been there.

But he wasn't.

Naruto sighed and let his forehead fall to his desk, the cool wood working wonders on his sore skin. He was grateful that no one had taken notice of his slightly purple cheeks. He had to admit, though, there wasn't that many people who would take the time to notice something like that. Thank the gods for that.

The bell rang and Naruto knew another day of hell had officially started when he tripped over the leg of his desk.

* * *

Naruto was not at all pleased. He was desperately trying to hide his limp and made sure nothing even came _near_ his stomach. Not even the wind was allowed to touch the tender skin. Hell, he had been thinking of going shirtless until he remembered he wouldn't be allowed in school without one. Also, it kinda hurt to talk. Actually, it hurt to move any part of his face, period. Naruto wanted to curse the gods for that last part. As fate would have it, he was constantly laughing and smiling on a daily basis and he knew he would be kicking himself later for that. 

Gods, how he wanted to just stay in bed today. But the principal would call his home and ask why he wasn't there and then the Touji couple would find out and then they would get upset with him for skipping and then—chaos, bluntly put.

Just to make his day worse, Gaara wasn't there. That meant that he had been told of his brother's death… Naruto's brow crinkled as he wondered idly if the red-head would snap. Gaara most likely wasn't taking too kindly to the death of part of the small family he had left. He might not be able to take it and go into 'psycho mode.' That wouldn't be good. Maybe Naruto would take a little trip to Gaara's after school to make sure everything was okay.

Now he just had to make it through the day alive. That was going to be the hard part. Naruto tromped from first period to second glumly. He hadn't much felt like dealing with math so he had just skipped… Though the thought of dealing with Genma was even less appealing. But he couldn't skip every period, much as he would've like to, since it would just get the principal on his case.

So Naruto steeled himself before pushing the classroom door open. He went over to his desk and sat down glumly. He really wanted to just have this day be over and done with.

"Yo, man—hey, 'sup with your face?"

But apparently some higher up power wanted this day to be a torture and last forever.

Almost idly, his fingers rose to hover right above his cheek. "Hey yourself, Kiba. I just have sensitive skin, is all. Just a brush and it goes purple." He had to thank the fact that the marks weren't _too_ noticeable which meant people were likely to buy the excuse.

"Oh…" The brunet blinked as it sank it. "Well what did you do?"

Naruto shrugged dismissively. "I'm not sure. As I said, one tap and I bruise. So I'm not positive what I did."

"Oh," Kiba murmured, like the concept of something so simple was new. "Yeah, that makes sense."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Ya think?"

The brunet shot him a sharp look. "Don't you start something with me," he growled.

Naruto looked at him and blinked in innocence before laughing at the look he received from the peeved Dog Boy, ignoring the pain that shot through his face.

It was then that the blond realized that he had missed feeling so close to someone. Sure, he had Gaara, and Gaara was the most important person to Naruto, but Gaara wasn't someone who Naruto could joke around with like he was with Kiba—Gaara's sense of humor could put a Catholic nun to shame, no offense to the red-head.

Naruto also realized that Kiba was amazing at cheering him up.

"Naruto-chaaaan!" Genma sang as he jovially skipped—by the gods, he was _skipping_—over to them.

"Stay the hell away," Kiba automatically ordered, stepping in front of the blond slightly.

Genma gave that grin of his that Naruto was starting to believe was stolen right from the Cheshire cat himself. "Aw, Inuzuka-chan, why are you ruining my fun?"

Kiba snorted.

"What have I done to make you doubt me?"

"You don't call me by my first name," Kiba immediately answered dryly.

"Jealous?" Genma seriously asked cheekily.

Kiba snorted again.

"Geez, Keebs (1), with all those guttural sounds, it's no wonder no one stalks you."

"I said nothing about stalking," the brunet pointed out not so very patiently.

The older man snuck a glance to his left and right before whispering, "You'll keep that a secret, right?"

"Get. Away. From us."

"You're no fun." Genma pouted.

"Genma-sensei—" Naruto began.

Said man turned to face Naruto and closed to space between them, grabbing his chin and pointing it up so their eyes were locked. "I told you that if you called me sensei, I would show you a whole new meaning of the word," Genma purred.

"HOLY FUCK! GET AWAY!" Kiba leapt at the teacher and landed a punch on the older man's shoulder.

Naruto, caught completely off-guard, yelped and impulsively swung his leg out. It made contact with his teacher's knees. Genma let out a startled noise as his bottom made contact with the floor.

There was a three second silence between the three as Kiba blinked down at Genma, wondering how he got down there when the punch he gave the man wasn't enough to force him to lose his balance; Genma was looking up at Naruto with unreadable, slightly wide eyes, his mouth slightly agape and his toothpick on the verge on slipping from between his lips; Naruto was shocked at himself for attacking a teacher—kinda—and was staring down at the man, hoping to any higher powers that this was _not_ going to get him expelled—but the man started it, so he could defend himself!

Finally, after the pause seemed to be unbearable to take, Genma broke down into uncontrollable laughter. "Oh, gods, you are a feisty one, aren't you?" Naruto wasn't sure when he stood up, but he was back on his feet and looking at the blond with humor in his dark eyes. "I really like you, Naruto-chan."

Naruto blinked at him, not sure how else to react. "_Eh_?"

Kiba snarled, trying to pry the man off of his friend all the while screaming, "Pedophile! Pedophile! He's a pedophile!"

Naruto glanced over at the spazzing brunet before shifting his gaze back to the teacher. "Genma," he finally sighed, suddenly feeling weary. "I'm not in a mood for this crap, so just start class, okay? Besides, I think the bell is about to ring soon, anyway."

The teacher pouted. "You're no fun, Naruto-chan."

The blond smiled semi-apologetically, semi-sheepishly and nervously scratched at the back of his head. The 'moment' was broken when the door opened slightly forcefully. Genma turned and gave another grin, though it wasn't nearly as large as it usually was. "Uchiha-san, glad you could join us." The bell rang and Genma's brows rose in amusement. "You're just on time."

The raven merely gave a "hn" of acknowledgment before taking his seat in the back.

"I guess I do have to start class," the older man murmured regretfully before playing with the toothpick between his lips. "We'll have to continue this conversation later, ne?"

Kiba growled before dragging Naruto away from Genma over to their seats. "No, you will not," he muttered darkly.

The blond thwacked the back of the head. "I can take care of myself."

Kiba snorted before flopping down in his seat. "Sure you can."

"Aw, shut up."

"Anything for you, _Naruto-chan_."

Naruto sent the brunet a disapproving look. "Great maturity you got there, _Keebs_."

"I know," Kiba smugly replied.

"Salvete, discipuli," Genma called to the back of the room pointedly to the two bickering boys.

"Salve, magister," Kiba answered with a roll of his eyes.

"Er—sul-way?" Naruto guessed.

Genma smirked before taking his attention off the duo.

"Tch. Good save, dobe."

The blond's head snapped in the direction of the voice and he bristled. "I didn't ask for your opinion, teme," he pointed out snippily.

"Hn." Obsidian orbs locked onto azure. Naruto stared—rather, glared—back, not willing to look away and make himself look weak. The frustration that had been eating at him all morning wasn't hidden in the least and his eyes burned in to Sasuke's intensely with it.

That was how most of the period was spent.

* * *

Naruto cursed as he stomped to fourth period. His mood was souring since a certain bastard was doing everything in his power to make the blond miserable. It had merely remained a glaring match for most of Genma's class, but when they got to Gai's, Sasuke had made the ultimate mistake of mentioning to the rabid green monster that Naruto was interested in doing the daily three hundred laps at lunch with Lee and Gai. Gai had been ecstatic while Naruto had given the raven a look that promised a slow and painful doom while trying to explain to the excited teacher that he was busy during lunch, study halls, homeroom, after school, or any other time that Gai had free for laps. 

Naruto then spent most of the period trying to beam a mental message to the teme: _You will pay if you don't stop_.

The raven hadn't taken heed of the warning and had continued to do things merely to annoy Naruto.

Needless to say, Naruto was starting to wonder in how many painful ways he could castrate the raven.

He sat down at his desk in Psychology and let his eyes wander briefly over to Sasuke before flicking back to Kiba as the brunet took his seat next to the blond.

"Gods, this class is too easy to be taken seriously."

"Well, I'm glad you think so," a voice quipped.

Kiba yelped before snapping his head in the direction of the voice. "Raidou! Way to give me a heart attack!"

The scarred man rolled his eyes. "If you had a heart attack, you'd be on the ground gasping for breath as your heart started to explode after a clot or nerve spasm caused it to stop."

There was a pause before the brunet gave the teacher a weird look. "Er—thanks for the health recap, but it was a figure of speech—you know, an expression?"

"I know what it was," the older man replied casually, shrugging. "I just think that kids these days take death way too lightly."

Kiba gave Raidou another look. "You are a weird man."

Raidou smirked before leaning against his desk. "I aim to please."

"No. You are a _weird_ man," Kiba repeated like the emphasized word made all the difference.

The older man's eyebrows shot up. "You mean queer? Yes. Yes, I am.

"No, _weird_," Naruto repeated in agreement with Kiba.

Raidou turned to look at the blond. "You're talking about my gayness, correct?"

"_No!_" Kiba exclaimed. "Not everything is because you're gay, dammit!"

Raidou looked like he was pouting. "It could be if we think hard enough."

Kiba gave him a sharp look. "Start the lesson. Now."

Sasuke, who was sitting a few desks down, looked at the teacher, silently agreeing before saying,: "The bell's going to ring soon, anyway."

After some more whines and retorts from the teacher and the Kiba, Raidou conceded and started class. He was going on about "nifty ways to trick people into giving you their wallet and/or credit cards" or tricking the human brain to temporarily mistake blank paper for money when Naruto's good mood slowly diminished and was replaced by pure panic. His mind kept slipping to Gaara and he continually received images of the red-head doing something stupid over the loss of his brother…

Making up his mind, he turned to Kiba. "Yo, man, you bring your cell?"

The brunet shook his head. "Nah, it's in my locker."

Naruto's brows shot up to his hairline. "You leave something like that in our crappy lockers?"

"I have a lock," he defended.

The blond rolled his eyes and looked back to Raidou who was announcing homework. After much debating, Naruto decided his concern for his friend was too much to ignore—he rarely got a feeling like this and when he did, there was usually something actually wrong. So he decided to go to his last resort.

"Hey, Sasuke!" he whispered loud enough for the raven to hear. "You got a phone on ya?"

Sasuke looked over at him with a glare. "What are you talking about?"

Naruto resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "What do you think? I need a phone."

"Phones aren't allowed in class. It'd be confiscated if you were caught."

The blond grinned cheekily. "You don't trust me to not get caught? I'm not that loud, you know."

The look he received said that the raven begged to differ.

"C'mon, please?" Naruto asked—he refused to call it begging.

Sasuke just stared at him, though he looked a little torn.

"_Pwease?_"

Dark eyes rolled to the ceiling in annoyance. "Just be quick," he hissed, tossing the phone to the blond.

"Sweet. Thanks, man." Naruto grinned to show his appreciation before looking down at the phone in his hands. He nearly choked on dry air. _Ho. Ly. Shit. This is an _iPhone Yes, Naruto knew everyone in the school was rich, but it was still a little bit of a surprise when he saw such expensive stuff. Never in his life had he owned anything that was worth half as much as the phone he currently held. Hell, if Naruto were to sell everything he owned he still wouldn't have enough to buy something that nice.

Treating it like it was made of glass, Naruto delicately punched in the numbers that he knew like he knew two plus two and put it up to his ear gingerly, making sure his grip wasn't too tight. The last thing he wanted was to break something like a frickin' iPhone and be expected to replace it.

"Yo! This is Temari speaking."

Naruto noted that she sounded stressed and incredibly tense. "Hey," he murmured softly. "I can't talk too long cuz I'm in class, but… is everything okay with you?"

"Oh, Naruto," Temari sighed, sounding incredibly relieved. "It's good to hear from you again. How've you been?"

"You didn't answer my question, 'Mar."

Temari hesitated before replying. "Everything's good… for the most part."

"I know that's a lie… I'm sorry to hear about Kankurou."

"Yeah," she agreed, her voice cracking slightly. "It's… a little tough now, I suppose."

"I thought everything was okay?" Naruto teased lightly.

Temari gave a humorless laugh. "Never better," she bitterly mumbled.

"But… uh, seriously, anything going down over there? I got a bad feeling and figured it couldn't hurt to call."

Temari hesitated again and immediately Naruto knew _something_ was up.

"What is it?" he coaxed, anxiousness settling in his chest.

"Gaara," Temari said after a pause. "He's…"

"Not taking it well?" Naruto guessed before wincing.

"Gone," she finished.

It took a second for that to sink in before he nearly shouted, "What do you _mean_ 'gone'?!"

Raidou whirled and Naruto barely had enough time to rip the phone from his ear and shoved it under the desk before turning to Kiba who was also looking at him oddly.

"K- Kiba, I swear to the gods my notebook was right there a second ago… Where the hell is it now?" he asked the brunet, his tone unsure and his eyes giving the Dog Boy a clear message: _play along_.

Kiba snorted. "Hell if I know." He gave Naruto a look in reply: _what the hell is going on?_

The blond snuck a look to Raidou and winced at the expression on his face. He could hear a soft murmur from the phone on his lap and knew Temari was most likely calling his name.

"Oh, er… never mind then. Guess I dropped it or something. No biggie."

"Good to know," Raidou dryly commented. "Now are you ready to continue class?"

Naruto mutely nodded and Raidou turned away. He waited a few seconds before bringing the phone back to his ear, casting Kiba an apologetic look. "Sorry, 'Mar," he murmured, interrupting the frantic girl's cry of his name. "Now what do you mean he's gone? Like… mentally?"

"No," Temari said slowly. "Gone as in… _gone_. Vamoose."

"Do… you need my help?" he ventured.

"No," Temari immediately replied. He could almost see the other blond shake her head. "Finish up with your classes. I don't want you getting in trouble because…" She let off and Naruto could've sworn she was trying to keep from sobbing in terror at the thought of her brother missing. _Her only brother,_ Naruto numbly added, the thought feeling a little foreign.

"Seriously. You know my rep, so it wouldn't much hurt me. I could be over in a blink." He didn't receive an answer and knew that Temari was swaying in her answer. "Please?" he added. "He's important to me, too, 'Mar… I don't want to see him hurt and you _know_ he's likely to get hurt when he's by himself after something like this."

There was a pause before he got an answer from her. "Naruto… I want to say yes, but… How about you call in, like, an hour, and if I still haven't heard from him, then you can come."

The blond didn't like the answer but grudgingly agreed before hanging up and tossing the phone back to a slightly peeved Sasuke.

"I thought you said you weren't going to get caught," he groused.

"I didn't get caught," Naruto pointed out before rolling his eyes. "Teme."

"Well then I suppose Raidou stopped class just 'cause the weather was so nice?"

Naruto shot him a look. "I didn't get caught, though, did I?"

"Hn." Sasuke rolled his eyes.

Naruto sighed before turning his attention to Kiba. "Sorry for putting so much pressure on ya, man. Thanks for going with it, though."

Kiba snorted. "Yeah, yeah. The things I do for love. But who were you talking to anyway?"

"That's a very good question," Sasuke quipped. "Over whom did I almost lose my iPhone for?"

The blond gave him a dark look before turning his attention back to Kiba. "I don't think you know her…"

"I don't _care_ if I know her," Kiba not-so-patiently said. "I want to know who it was. You were screaming there for a second."

Naruto huffed indignantly. "Temari."

"I'm sorry, who?"

"Kiba!" the blond whined. "I already told you that you didn't know her!"

"But seriously, who?" Kiba repeated.

Naruto sighed, giving in. "Sabaku Temari."

Both Sasuke and Kiba gave him a funny look.

"Um… in relation to Gaara, by any chance?"

Naruto nodded. "Yep. That's her."

"Ah… I see… And you had to call her in the middle of class because…?"

"_Not_ that it's any of your business, but the Sabaku family is going through a tough time right now and Gaara's missing."

Kiba thought about that for a second and Sasuke just gave a 'tch.'

"So… you called cuz Gaara wasn't in school?" the brunet asked curiously.

Naruto shook his head. "Nah, I'm not that paranoid. When I say he's gone, I mean no one can find him."

"This is a bad thing?" Surprisingly enough, it was Sasuke who had asked that.

Naruto glared at him. "_Yes_, it is. Especially now." Kiba opened his mouth to ask another question so he continued, "Look, it isn't my place to say anything, okay? Just… leave it be. It doesn't affect you."

* * *

Lunch rolled through and there had been no positive updates from Temari. 

"Kay, guys, I'm off."

Kiba and Shino both turned to face the blond.

"What are you talking about?" Kiba asked.

"I've got something to do," Naruto replied with a shrug.

"And it _can't_ wait until after school?"

Naruto sighed. "No, it can't. I might be back later. Bye."

"Naruto, wait."

The blond stopped and turned to look at Shino. "…Yeah?"

"Ebisu stalks the hallways near the exits all hours of the day. He also has several employees watching throughout the cafeteria for anyone who may try to leave during free periods or lunch."

Naruto grinned. "Thanks for the warning, but I'm not concerned."

He was about to leave when Kiba called to him. "Wait, man."

He looked over to the brunet. "Yeah?"

Kiba looked like he was torn between a tough decision. Finally, he sighed and reached into his pocket, pulling out a dark red flip phone. He stared at it a second before hesitantly holding it out. "I want to know if you'll be needing any help at all."

Naruto blinked at the electronic device before giving a grin. "I'll be fine, honest, Kiba, so—"

"That stupid phone is the most important thing to him, after Akamaru, so if he's giving it to you, it means he cares for you. Since he's actually loaning it to you on his own will, it also means he won't take no for an answer," Shino informed Naruto in his low voice.

The blond felt a little tug in his chest as he slowly reached out and pulled the phone from Kiba's grip into his own. "Thanks a bunch, dude."

The brunet cracked a cocky smirk. "No prob, and I expect you to call if you need _any_ sort of help in the least and I want an update when you find him. Shino's number is in the phone book. Call him. And don't be afraid about it being during school hours. If you run into trouble, call. I don't care if I'm in the middle of a test or detention, I'll come."

With a laugh and one last wave, Naruto promised he would return, and headed for the main exit out of the room. Thanks to Shino's update about security, he wasn't surprised when two teachers and the janitor all approached him, looking like a pack of wolves.

"Where ya going?" one—a woman with purple shaded glasses—asked.

"I have business to attend to," Naruto dismissively replied, moving to sidestep the trio.

Another—a slightly bulky man—grabbed his shoulder. "Feel free to go when you tell us where you're off to and give us a pass."

The blond stared up coolly at the man. "It's lunch, which counts as a free period. And in case you couldn't read between the lines, that means I'm not giving you jack shit."

"Hey, you," the janitor growled. "I don't know who you think you are—" He stopped before giving the blond a once-over. "Who are you, anyway?"

"Uzumaki Naruto," was the clipped response.

The three seemed to stop for a second to think whether or not the name was anything to be feared—getting fired for pissing off the son of powerful people just wasn't the brightest side of anyone's day—and upon realizing it wasn't, they all seemed to grin somewhat maliciously.

"Well, Mr. Uzumaki, just where do you think you were going?" Mr. Bulk asked.

"I know very well where I'm going, thank you very much." Really, why did adults get a kick out of torturing him?

The cafeteria quieted when they made the connection of the bicker as a possibility of gossip and the room watched in fascination, making sure to pick up any dialogue spoken for rumors later.

Purple glasses smirked. "I think you need to take this up with the principal."

"And I think I just need to hurry to tend to my appointment," the blond replied nonchalantly.

"And what would this 'appointment' be, hmm?" the janitor asked, leaning on his broom.

"It's personal, thank you very much. I appreciate your concern, but I assure you, there's nothing—"

"Personal on what level?" Bulky cut in.

"On the level of my not being able to tell you."

"Aw, well that's too bad, sweets, cuz you're not allowed to leave until we receive a legitimate answer." It was the woman who spoke.

Rolling his eyes, Naruto spewed out the first lie that popped into his head. "The guidance counselor wants to talk to me about being new and how to adjust more easily. There, happy?" He went to step around them again, but once again, a thick, firm hand latched onto his shoulder painfully.

"Then we can just go to the counselor together seeing as you have no pass or excuse note."

Naruto was mightily wishing that maybe a meteor would crash through the roof and burn the man alive. "I will allow you to do no such thing," he grit out. "I don't see why you can't trust me enough to walk maybe fifty meters to—"

"What's going on here?" a new voice asked shrilly.

Naruto and the trio looked over to the new figure and mentally groaned.

"Ah, Ebisu-sensei. This little thing here was thinking—"

The ebony-haired man pushed the dark spectacles up his nose before looking at Naruto. Immediately, the dark frames slipped down his nose again and he sharply cut into Mr. Bulk's sentence, sounding slightly panicked. "Release him immediately! Let go of him—_Let go of him, I said!_"

The bulky teacher looked a little surprised at the outburst, but released his hold on the blond, who stepped away with a glower. He was about to try leaving again when Ebisu spoke again. "Where do you think you're going, Uzumaki?"

Naruto sent him a reproachful look. He didn't at all like anything about the Ebisu guy. "I have things to do."

"And that would be?"

"Things."

"Uzumaki, if you do not answer me, I'll be making a call to your father."

Naruto rolled his eyes to the ceiling. "Ugh, that sounds like a threat a babysitter would make to an incompetent three year old. Really, is that the best you have?"

"There was no joke in that threat, Uzumaki."

The blond sighed. "Gods, I don't care," he snapped back, managing to make it sound like he wasn't lying. "Call him for all I care." _Please don't call him!_ he mentally begged, but swallowed it.

Seeing that he wasn't getting anywhere, Ebisu changed tactics. "Where are you going off to, anyway?"

"Said the counselor wanted to see him," the janitor responded.

"Right… And why would _that_ be? Because you're new? If you tell me that's the reason, I'll call you a liar. There's no need for us to waste our time on someone like you with something as trivial as that."

Naruto, having had enough, decided to tell them the truth. "I don't much feel like having blood on my hands." Cryptic, but part of the truth nonetheless.

Ebisu, however, took it differently. "Are you _threatening _us, Uzumaki? Rest assured that if you are, I can and will expel you immediately. I don't care _who_ you are or _what_ you think you can do, I will not allow you to walk all over other people."

Naruto resisted the urge to give an exasperated sigh, settling with a roll of his cerulean eyes instead. _Really,_ what was wrong with adults?

Deciding he didn't feel like sticking around anymore, he just turned and started off again. Mr. Bulk went to grab him again, but Ebisu sharply snapped, "Don't touch him! You heard him, he's willing to hurt teachers!" His voice grew louder as he then called, "Uzumaki, be sure to know that if you leave this cafeteria, not only will I do everything in my power to have you expelled, your father—"

The slamming of the door as it closed behind the blond drowned out anything else the man might have said.

* * *

(1) A nickname for Kiba. I call him that on occasion… xP 

---

**Yep… boring chapter… Nothing happened. Well, not really. Oh, and look. It was also long. But no worries! SasNar comes out near the middle of the next chapter. In fact, it's the main point of la next chappy! I'm now going to concentrate fully on their relationship:)**

**And if anyone mentions anything along the lines of: "Where did Mizuki come in???" I will SCREAM with the realization that you did not read the pretty, bolded note at the top that is clearly labeled as IMPORTANT.**

**Now, back to my life of being a nerd. I need to finish **_**The Stand**_** (by Stephen King). T.T**

**Please review…! I'm desperate to know how I can improve! (And I'm a rabid review monster—rawr!)**


	4. Bribing the Sun

**Disclaimer: **Pshaw. What's the use in owning the _manga_ when I can just write whatever I want in _fanfiction_? (Plus, if I owned it, the quality of the art would decrease quite dramatically… Eh heheheh.)

**Pairings: **SasNar

**Warnings: **_Mature language _and there will be some _YAOI_ later on. Because of these two factors, I'm thinking that the rating will go up some time. Not sure when, but keep on your toes, kay?

**NOTE:** In this Fic, Gaara does not go all emo on us. I dislike Gaara always acting like, "Oh, look a knife. Excuse me as I slice myself to ribbons, if you'd be so kind" in FanFictions. So… yeah. No emo. Believe it.

**Chapter 4: **Bribing the Sun

Not a single rock was in one whole piece by the time Naruto was done searching the nearby town for any sign for his dear friend. Hours had gone by, and despite his comment that he would "most likely be back later," Naruto knew that school would be letting out soon.

And he still hadn't caught so much as a hint as to where Gaara was…

Panic had settled in on his mind and he desperately asked every person he saw whether they had seen Gaara. Almost every single person had said they didn't—it'd be fairly easy to spot a red-head—while two or three had merely commented that the weather-was-nice-don't-you-think-so?-And-why-is-someone-your-age-running-around-in-a-frenzy-during-school-hours-hmm?-Whipper-snappers-these-days-I-swear…

Neither response was any help and Naruto was beginning to lose hope when someone suddenly someone from behind grabbed him and unceremoniously threw him into the darkness of an alley-like juncture beside a restaurant. He blinked several times to gain his bearings before glaring at the hard-to-make-out figure. He opened his mouth to give a hot retort and demand what the hell the person thought he was doing but the figure spoke first.

"Keep quiet."

Normally, Naruto would've snorted and given a witty reply—something like "And who's going to make me, shithead?" Instead, his mouth closed with a snap of his teeth and he found he was waiting for further dialogue.

The voice was low and had a rumble to it. It was indeed a men and he spoke with a tone that was completely nonchalant and careless. For some reason, Naruto knew that the man could kill him where he stood and not at all be affected. That realization was why Naruto had obeyed the earlier command.

"You don't know me, but I know a great deal about you."

The blond was slightly taken aback. He hadn't been expecting the guy to speak again so soon for some reason. The surprise wore off soon, however, and was replaced with a mixture of fear and curiousness. "Really, now?" he responded skeptically before he had a chance to stop himself.

There was a pause as the figure came closer, feet making absolutely no sound against the pavement. He stopped several inches away from Naruto. "Yes, and I have some… _helpful _advice for you."

_Oh?_ _Really now? _Naruto raised a brow. "And that is?"

The sun glinted off a passing car's window and for a second the reflected light ran over than man's face. He found himself staring into blood red eyes for a second before the light moved on. That wasn't exactly… normal. Naruto swallowed as the man spoke again.

"Stay away from Sasuke."

There was no last name attached but somehow Naruto knew he was referring to Uchiha Sasuke and didn't answer. Seconds ticked by before the silence was broken.

"I do believe you're searching for a red-head?"

Whatever the blond expecting the guy to say, _that_ certainly wasn't on his list. Azure orbs blinked slowly as he thought about how to properly reply. "How is that any of your concern?" he asked slowly. While his question wasn't the most elegant, it was the first thing that popped in his head.

The man didn't answer his question. "Just go to the oak."

Naruto was puzzled, truly he was. Any fear he held towards the guy was gone and he was one hundred percent curious now. "What do you mean—and who are you, anyway?"

Despite the dim lighting, the blond could see that the figure was pulling up a hood. Without another word, the man turned and stepped into the slightly-busy sidewalk. Idly, Naruto noted that the guy was wearing a long, black, trench-like coat complete with a hood. He was going to yell something else to the retreating man, but for some reason, his mind's thought process had turned slightly sluggish.

The figure was long gone among the increasing crowd and Naruto felt his legs grow weak. He collapsed onto the wall of the brick restaurant, thoughts muddled.

"_I do believe you're searching for the red-head?"_

How the hell did the guy know about Gaara?

"_Just go to the oak."_

And what the hell did he mean by _that_? The blond pondered the possibilities for many minutes, but he came up with nothing. Was there an Oak Street or something nearby?

"No," he murmured to himself, shaking his head. For some reason, he felt the answer was easier than that. A moment passed as he forced himself to think of all the possibilities. Suddenly, his eyes fluttered closed as realization dawned in his mind. "Of course."

* * *

There is an old grade school that is close to closing down due to the fact that not enough children are registering there, instead taking a favor in the newer, better elementary school. Twenty meters outside the back entrance, there's an even older tree which is the oldest in the area. Hanging from the tree's lowest branch is a swing.

Naruto knew the small area beneath the branches of the tree—the oak tree—like he knew the back of his hand. He had spent many hours swinging under the shade of the leaves when he had no one to hang with—until he met Gaara. And even after he had Gaara, he still found himself swinging on the rope swing—until the red-head complained he had a long enough turn and that it was his turn. That spot had turned into _their spot_.

So Naruto considered himself a fool for not thinking of it sooner—and how the hell had the man known about this spot?

He shook his head as he stopped about fifteen meters from the elderly tree. He swallowed as he saw the unmistakable brownish-red hair it the shadows the impossibly tall oak made. He let out a breath of relief as he closed the distance between him and the tree. He stopped next to the trunk and allowed a hand to slowly travel up to rest on the thick bark. It had been a while since he had been here. He had moved around so much through different towns and cities that he hadn't had time to come back since fifth grade until now.

"Gaara," he called softly.

Said boy didn't react right away. He merely sat numbly on the swing, rocking slightly, staring off into space. Finally, though, he turned his head slowly to meet Naruto gaze.

The blond was a little disturbed when he saw that Gaara's eyes were completely void of all emotion; they were dead, blank.

"Have you been here all day?" he asked quietly.

Gaara nodded slowly.

A small silence formed and Naruto swallowed. '_Are you alright_?' was not something he was allowed to ask. It was obvious the boy was not _alright_; he had lost his brother, he wasn't supposed to be_ alright_. What type of heartless bastard was alright after the death of a loved one?

Instead, Naruto found himself saying, "We'll get through this. I promise." The moment the words left his mouth, he had to mentally cringe at the corniness of them.

Gaara didn't react. He just stared mutely, his dead eyes not giving away any emotion.

"Temari's worried, Gaara, you shouldn't have just disappeared," he chastised softly. "And I was worried, too, you know? We weren't—" He cut himself off. There was no way he was going to say _We weren't sure what state of mind you were in. Oh, and by the way, do you happen to have any pointy objects on your person? I'm supposed to take them away from you if you do for your own health._

"I wasn't going to hurt anyone," was all the red-head said. "I'm not…" He drifted off, his gaze traveling to the lowering sun.

Naruto knew what he had been trying to say: _I'm not a monster_. He took a few steps forward until he was next to his friend and turned Gaara's head away from the sky with his hand. "You're going to damage your eyes," he scolded.

Instantly, a pale hand wrapped around his wrist and jade eyes bored into his sapphire. The fingers encircled around his wrist tightened slightly as Gaara's other hand slowly traveled to his cheeks, ghosting over the purple-hued skin. Naruto winced slightly. Even though Gaara wasn't actually touching him, his nerves were still frazzled from the pain and as such were extremely sensitive.

"I don't know why you put up with it."

Naruto was taken aback at how emotional Gaara's voice was. He searched emerald orbs and found them no longer dead but full of anger and frustration.

He shook his head. He wasn't sure why, but words failed him and it was all he could think of to do in response. So instead his hand rose to cover Gaara's and gently he pulled the fingers away from the sore skin. He shook his head again and offered a smile, not exactly sure what he was doing or why, but knowing that it was the right way to react.

Gaara stared at him for a few seconds before his mossy green eyes drifted over to his hand that was still in Naruto's grip. He looked at it for several long seconds before slipping his hand out of Naruto's.

"I was starting to wonder if you'd come," he murmured softly, gaze redirecting to the sun once again.

Naruto grinned. "Of course I'd come. I'll always come."

A soft, barely noticeable sigh escaped Gaara's lips.

"Oi! Didn't I say not to look into the sun?" Naruto waved his hand in front of Gaara's face.

The red-head gave him a dry look and he grinned cheekily. "Ready to go? 'Mari might kick your ass, and if that's the case, we better get back before sunset—she might show some mercy if we do," he teased.

Naruto turned and took a step to leave, but something tugged lightly on the fabric of his shirt. A little surprised, he looked over his shoulder only to see Gaara was staring down at the ground—or, at least, his head was bent towards the ground. Copper colored locks were hanging in his face, the setting sun causing a shadow to hide most of his face.

Naruto remained silent as Gaara found his voice after several seconds. "Thank you." It was a gently whisper, but Naruto heard it. It was probably the first time Gaara had ever said that…

"Eh? You say something, Gaara-chan?"

The red-head slowly looked up and met his gaze. "I said nothing," he replied dryly, giving him a look that matched his tone.

Naruto grinned as he turned again and stepped out of the grip his friend still had on his shirt. "Oh, good." Then he laughed. "You coming, Raccoon Eyes?"

Gaara snorted at the nickname and crossed his arms as he followed. "I do so hate you sometimes," he grumbled.

"Aw, Gaara, how can you hate a face like mine?" Naruto teased.

"It's easy once you look at it."

Naruto gave an indignant squawk.

* * *

"What the fuck is wrong with you! You were supposed to call _hours _ago!"

Naruto winced as he held the phone a good foot away from his face before bringing it back to squeeze in his own comment. "But I it took a while—"

"I don't care if you ran into the empress of Russia!" the voice snapped back.

"But- But, Kiba… If I tell you something really—"

"I'll give you three seconds to give me a good reason why I shouldn't maim you where you stand."

"Um, well, because you aren't _here_?" he drawled, rolling his eyes.

"I can phone maim you," Kiba indignantly retorted after a pause. "And stop changing the subject on me!"

Naruto gave an amused grin. "Alright, I'm sorry. There, happy? I'll let you chew me out tomorrow. Right now I have to get home and _try_ to do some homework."

There was a pause before Kiba growled again. "You're _sure_ you're fine? No broken bones? Internal bleeding? Bruises? Cuts? Sawed off ears?"

Naruto made a face at the last one before shaking his head and chuckling. "Nothing. I'm fine."

Kiba hesitated.

"_Perfectly_ fine," the blond stressed.

"Well…"

"For Naruto's sake, what are you doing? If he said he was fine, he's _fine_," Naruto heard the muffled sound of Shino's sharp reprimanding.

There was a shuffle as Kiba most likely covered the mouth piece with a hand and replied, "Oh, yeah? Well, for all we know, he could've gotten kidnapped and now his captor is calling so no one would be suspicious," Kiba replied, slightly muffled. There was a pause before another shuffle—Kiba taking his hand away from the phone—and he continued, "You are really Naruto, aren't you? If you hurt him, I swear to the gods, I'll kick your sorry—"

"For Naruto's sake!" Shino snapped in the background. Naruto himself blinked as he finally realized what Shino was saying—_for Naruto's sake?_ They were swearing by him now? Sweet. Was he some sort of god and he didn't even know about it? The thought made him mentally laugh. "Say goodbye _now_ and give me my phone back."

"Yeah, _mother_," Naruto piped in, stifling his laughter.

Kiba grumbled something that sounded like _You just wait. When Naruto turns up missing, it'll be my turn to have the last laugh,_ before grumbling a goodbye and handing the phone over to Shino.

"Sorry about him," Shino said once he had the phone. "He's just… protective of his friends."

Naruto chuckled. "S'fine. You haven't seen protective until you get to know Gaara. See ya tomorrow?"

"See you tomorrow," Shino replied.

They both hung up.

Naruto let the phone slip from his fingers to slide between the cloth of his pants into his pocket. Suddenly, the adrenaline that had been pumping through his veins receded as the realization that Gaara was alive and well sank in—though there had never been a reason to believe any harm had befallen the red-head from the beginning. Naruto's muscles were protesting his movements after being used all day to flip the entire city upside down.

He rolled his neck as he started meandering aimlessly through the familiar area. Memories flashed through his mind and for a second it was like he was once again a small child, grinning maniacally as he skillfully dodged between the metal bars of the jungle gym, intent on getting to the top…

He blinked and the sound of sweet childish laughter faded from his ears. The memory faded from his eyes and he was left alone again, his only company being his elongating shadow.

_Oh, this is so stupid,_ he berated himself as he turned and started off down the memorized street. He had to admit, he wasn't looking all too forward to getting home. Ebisu had most likely been faithful to his promise to call Arashi and give a full report on Naruto's 'inappropriate behavior.' Tch, and most likely once the stupid teacher realized that his exaggeration of his rebellious actions only served to anger the man, he would most likely start to add details that weren't all too accurate. Arashi would most likely profusely thank the man then for his generosity in sharing the information, latching onto every word said, nearly memorizing it, before releasing the anger of a god on the blond.

Naruto wasn't so sure he wanted to go home anymore. He could kiss that picture Mizuki had good bye. There was no way he was going to get it now. He sighed. It was an exhausted, defeated sound.

The sun was nearly hidden completely from view by that point, only a fraction of it actually visible. The dying rays painted a brilliant picture in the sky, dying it a multitude of colors. Naruto was willing to bet not a single artist that had ever live could fully depict the beauty of the sight.

Another sigh escaped his lips, but this time it was one of contentment.

"It is quite lovely, isn't it?" a soft voice murmured as if reading his thoughts.

"Mm-hmm," he idly hummed just as gently in agreement, eyes still locked on the breath-taking scene.

"Though it'll be late soon. Don't you think you should get home?"

"Mm-hm—" Abruptly, Naruto cut himself off as he turned to face the new arrival. "Ah—Sasuke. Sorry I, uh, wasn't exactly paying attention…"

"I could tell," the raven replied, smirking.

"Che, teme."

"So what are you doing out by yourself? You don't exactly live around here."

Naruto shrugged, slipping his hands into his pockets. "Eh. Not much, just… wandering around…"

"Mm, I thought you were a little smarter than that to hang around this area of town alone so close to dark." Sasuke looked him over carefully, most likely checking for any wounds or extra appendages.

"I'm not scared."

Sasuke's hard, impassive expression didn't change in the least. "Sometimes not fearing something isn't the wisest choice."

The blond shot him a look. "What the hell are you going on about?"

He shrugged in reply, deciding not to elaborate. "So were you heading home or something?" he asked instead, turning his gaze to the sunset.

Something constricted around Naruto's heart. "I'm scared," he admitted.

Briefly, Sasuke's eyes flicked to him before returning to the edge of the sky. "Scared of what?" He was about to add _Thought you just said you _weren't_ scared, dobe,_ when the other continued.

"Just…" Naruto bit his lip. "I'm not really sure."

"Liar," the raven softly accused.

Blue eyes darted to the dirty sidewalk beneath him. "I'm… serious. I'm not sure."

Sasuke snorted. "Okay. Sure, I believe you."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Sarcasm not appreciated." He didn't receive any reply from the raven so he decided to change the topic. "So, uh, thanks for letting me borrow your, um… iPhone earlier."

"Hn."

Upon hearing the one syllable response, Naruto resisted the urge to twitch. "And I suppose I should say sorry for almost getting caught."

"Hn."

_Oh, that—_Naruto ground his teeth but managed to resist finishing the thought. "But I didn't get caught. So that's all that matters, right? Right?"

"Hn."

"Oh, for the love of all that I consider holy! _What_ is your problem? Would it hurt you to grace someone with an actual answer?"

"Che, hn."

Naruto growled. "I oh-so hate you."

"The feeling is mutual."

"Then why are you talking to me?" the blond howled.

"Che, usuratonkachi."

"Teme," Naruto retorted hotly.

"Dobe."

"Teme."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Your maturity barely challenges that of a gnat."

Naruto raised a brow. "A knack?" he questioned, obviously mishearing. "What the hell?"

Sasuke didn't reply to that, resisting the urge to slap his forehead in exasperation. "You should be getting home," he said instead.

Naruto gave him a dirty look. "I don't see how it concerns you on whether or not I decide to go home. You should be happy if I stay out here and just die, right? You hate me. So what does it matter?"

Sasuke returned his look with one of his own. "Don't act so melodramatic. You have a family who'll be concerned when they see you're not there. You should really think about them."

The blond blinked before masking his expression, making it completely unreadable. "They will, huh?" he said simply in a toneless voice that was neither a whisper nor a statement. "I'll worry them? When was the last time I actually worried them, I wonder?"

Sasuke sighed. A part of him was slightly surprised he was still acting social with the blond. Another part of him was pleased he was able to associate with the dobe. But hearing the hyper idiot sounding so… dead made something stir within the back of his mind.

Sasuke hated it when someone made him feel emotional. He really, really hated it—because he hadn't gotten emotional in a good five or six years, maybe longer; _definitely _longer.

Hearing Naruto give a humorless chuckle did nothing to appease him. "Sasuke, you ever feel frustrated because someone else has power over you? No matter how much you struggle and try to buck free, they still have you under their thumb… And you realize too late that you're trapped."

"Dobe."

Naruto slowly looked over at him. He looked almost on the verge of tears.

Sasuke chuckled. "Now who's being melodramatic?" he questioned teasingly.

The blond blinked before narrowing his eyes. "Just shut up."

Sasuke thwapped the back of his head. "Che. Come on, then. I'll walk you home."

Naruto crinkled his nose but jogged off after the other boy. "Corny-much, teme?"

"Che. Be glad I'm doing this at all."

"Awwww," he drawled sarcastically. "I forgot! Sociopath Uchiha is actually taking the time from his _very _busy schedule to actually walk me home." Cue a lopsided grin on the blond's part. "But you know, if you wanted to spend time with me _that_ badly, you could've just asked."

"Another word from you and I'll hail a taxi."

"Oh, why don't you do that, anyway? It's kinda a long walk and—"

"And I'll get in—alone—and go home," he clarified.

Naruto's bottom lip puffed out slightly in a pout. "Meany. Can't I go with you? We live right near each other, right?"

Sasuke blinked. "We do—?" At the look the blond gave him, something clicked in his mind and he continued, "Ah. Yes, we do."

Naruto snickered. "Baka Sasuke-teme forgot where he lived."

Sasuke swallowed his original retort with ease—"_No, I forgot I said I lived by you_"—and instead replied, "More like I forgot where _you_ lived, dobe."

The snickering continued. "Even better still. Oh"—the laughing abruptly stopped as a thought occurred to the blond—"You'll have to tell me where you live so I can stop by some time."

"It doesn't matter. I would never want you over at my house," Sasuke replied immediately, words curt and dismissive. Despite the fact that Sasuke's tone clearly said the matter was resolved, Naruto persisted.

"Teme! You know where I live, so what would it hurt if I knew where your house was? What? Is the great and mighty Uchiha _afraid_ that if he tells someone the location of his nest, he'll get stalkers out the wazoo?" (1)

Sasuke shot him a sideways reproachful glance. "There are times in life when you are supposed to shut up and enjoy silence, dobe."

Naruto looked over and blinked at him. "Thanks for the memo…?" he replied, not exactly sure what he was to make with the new information.

"What I'm _saying_ is that now is one of those times."

Naruto's eyes brightened in understanding before darkening as the words actually sank in. "Oi!" he protested, before suddenly chuckling. Sasuke spared a slightly confused glance at his shift in mood. "That's a weird way to tell someone to shut up," Naruto continued by way of explanation. "You have to be sophisticated in everything, don't you?"

Sasuke wasn't exactly sure what to make of that, so instead of replying, he 'said' what he did best—

"Hn."

—And Naruto resisted the urge to throttle him. "Teme," he growled warningly. Sasuke didn't show any signs he heard. Naruto sighed and raked his fingers through his unruly blond locks in exasperation and slight frustration. "Why is everything so difficult with you?" he grumbled.

Sasuke gave a small roll of his dark eyes. After, a small silence fell over them that was only broken from the sounds of life around them—passing cars and the occasional twittering of birds in general.

Many long, peaceful moments passed as they traveled closer and closer to Naruto's home. Naruto spent this time allowing his mind to wander. Mostly, he thought about how much of a bastard Sasuke was and how he would be so much cooler if he would even act a _little_ bit friendlier. These thoughts, of course, brought up questions on how his parents treated him and brought him up.

And that was how Naruto remembered that he had no information on Sasuke at all—and neither did the Internet. And Sasuke was right beside him acting as a living, breathing Sasuke-tionary. Or something to that affect…

"Ne, Sasuke?" He made sure to keep his excitement in check as the raven looked over at him. "What do your parents do for a living?"

Of course there were thousands of other questions that Naruto was dying to ask, but somehow, the familial bond had always been a favorite topic to him. Probably because of his own parental problems and his wish to know his real parents—his birth parents. Whatever it was that caused it, usually one of the first questions he asked people had to do with their parents.

Naruto looked over at the raven when he didn't answer, excitement still bubbling around in his gut. However, the moment he saw Sasuke's expression, it was like that bubbly feeling had been doused with frigidly freezing cold water. Sasuke wasn't looking at him, but Naruto knew that he was glaring. His face was completely expressionless, but his hands were clenched tightly by his sides.

"Sasuke—?"

Sasuke cut him off curtly. "They're dead."

Oh. Well, shit.

"I'm sorry to hear."

And he truly, truly was.

"If it, uh… makes up for my stupidity on asking you that, my parents are dead, too." He didn't normally talk about his birth parents—in fact, he never talked about them, period—but he felt almost like he _had_ to tell Sasuke that for some reason.

Sasuke's obsidian eyes flicked over in his direction. He noted that the glare was gone as the other boy took him in for a second. But then, low and behold, Sasuke's eyes narrowed again. Naruto had to wonder if glaring, scowling, and smirking were the only thing that Sasuke was capable of doing. It sure seemed like it at times.

"Then just who do you live with?" Sasuke asked, his tone slightly icy.

It took a few seconds for the incentive behind the question to sink in and Naruto blinked. What the—? Did the bastard honestly believe—?

"Why would I lie to you?" Naruto asked and he sincerely meant it. There was no reason to lie about something like that.

"If this is some sick joke, Uzumaki, rest assured—"

Naruto held both of his hands up and stopped walking. "Sasuke, I would _never_ lie about my parents. They were—I suppose they still _are_ important to me. I never had a chance to meet them, but…" He drifted off, unsure as to what he was trying to convey.

"So then your parents died before you met them?"

Naruto cocked his head, slightly startled at the soft tone. "They died right after my first birthday. So yeah, I don't remember them." He was even more startled at his own gentle, sentimental tone.

_Okay, corny moment must now end_, Naruto thought to himself as he gave a cheeky grin. "I was adopted when in kindergarten right after I turned five."

Sasuke snorted as he started off again. Naruto scurried after him as they resumed their trek. "So then you _do_ have parents, usuratonkachi."

Naruto made a face and resisted the urge to say that he would _never_ call the Toujis actual parents. Maybe when he was younger, but not anymore. "Teme, my _birth _parents still died, though!"

"I suppose so."

Naruto shot him a look and stuck his tongue out before a thought struck him. "Oh, right. So then who takes care of you?"

Sasuke wrinkled his nose momentarily. "The pervert who is our history teacher."

Naruto's eyes widened and his head whipped over in Sasuke's direction. "Kakashi! Dude, is he certified to be a guardian? Wouldn't he, like, corrupt your mind with all his perversion?" Naruto gave a horrified sound. "Are _you_ a pervert, teme?"

"Alright, let's get this one straight," Sasuke told him. "I am in _no_ way like anyone but _myself_. I'm not like Kakashi, I'm not like my parents, and I am _not_ like my brother. Understand?"

Naruto held up both of his hands again in a 'whoa, let's freeze' gesture. "I get what you mean. I never said anything about being _like_ Kaka—brother?" Naruto blinked as he replayed what Sasuke had said in his mind as accurately as he could. "What? You have a brother?"

Sasuke's let out a small sigh. A small tremble of barely repressed anger rippled through him. "Yes, I have a brother," he replied tersely.

"Touch subject?" Naruto guessed.

"What gave you that idea?" Sasuke shot him an icy look of reproach.

He bristled. "Hold it, teme. There's no need to get so defensive."

The look Sasuke gave him suggested otherwise and Naruto momentarily wondered what sort of relationship the two Uchiha siblings had.

"So what about you, then?"

Naruto blinked and turned his attention back to Sasuke. "Hm?"

Sasuke shot him a look. He definitely didn't enjoy repeating himself. "Do you have any siblings?" After a second, he added, "Dobe."

"Oi! Teme! Don't call me that!" Naruto pouted. "And no, I'm an only child as far as I know."

"Che, I should've guessed an idiot like you wouldn't have any siblings," Sasuke grumbled.

Naruto's eyes narrowed in annoyance. "You really have some problems, you know that?"

"Hn."

"Yeah, yeah, teme. 'Hn' to you, too." Naruto sighed. So, it turned out that asking Sasuke anything wasn't going to do him any good, after all—though he really shouldn't have been surprised by this thought. However, Naruto was a persistent, stubborn creature. So instead of letting the topic die, he asked another question.

"Soooo… do you like music?" (2) He honestly wasn't sure where the question came from, but it was the first thing that his mind came up with since he was _trying _to keep off the topic of family since it seemed to be a bit of touchy subject with Sasuke.

"Music is mostly a waste of time."

Naruto froze and turned to give him a wide-eyed stare. "_What_?"

Sasuke also stopped to return the stare and shrugged uncaringly. "There's nothing wrong with not liking music, dobe. Some people don't like reading, others don't like sports, for me, I don't like music.

Naruto continued to gape at him, jaw muscles slack. He shook his head slowly. "Not… not even Gackt?"

"No," Sasuke replied firmly.

"Arashi?" Naruto tried again.

"No," Sasuke drawled, growing bored.

Naruto was looking at him with shock. "…Kat-Tun?"

"No."

"What's _wrong_ with you?" Naruto demanded.

Sasuke's brow rose. "I could ask you the same thing. Why would you waste your time on such trivial things?"

"Tuh- Tuh- Tuh- Tr—" Naruto had appeared to have gone into shock, complete with ashen skin, wide eyes, and stuttering, all the while gaping much like a fish.

Sasuke's eyebrows crinkled. "Dobe?"

"Tri- Tri- Tri—"

Sasuke knew something how to diagnose something as healthy and unhealthy, and _this_ was most certainly unhealthy. "Dobe! Snap out of it!"

That seemed to do the trick. Naruto's eyes snapped into focus and narrowed. "You know what? I'm going to prove to you that music isn't 'trivial' as you say," he informed the raven, making finger quotes when he said 'trivial.'

Sasuke grew slightly exasperated. "And how are you going to do that?"

Naruto pouted. "I'll think of a way," he insisted.

Sasuke glanced over in his direction and he didn't fail to notice how his eyes lingered on the light patches of color that stained Naruto's whisker marks. Naruto let out a small breath, a feeling of doom impending on him as he realized that Sasuke had no intention of letting it slide. He braced himself for the question and, low and behold, he was not disappointed.

"What happened to your face?"

"Eh?" Naruto blinked, playing dumb. "My face? There's something wrong with it?" He lifted his fingers so they hovered right above his cheeks.

Sasuke wasn't fooled. "You can stop playing innocent, dobe."

"Innocent?" Sasuke gave Naruto a sharp look and he swallowed. "I just fell is all. No worries."

Obsidian eyes full of incredible intensity stared into his cobalt. Naruto had to lock the joints in his legs to keep from shrinking backwards at the look. When the dark haired man took several steps towards him, he felt like a deer caught in headlights. While Naruto was definitely afraid of what the Uchiha planned to do, part of him just wanted to step forward and assist in shortening the distance between them. Naruto's breath momentarily froze when Sasuke stopped with barely half a meter separating them and slowly lifted his hand.

At first, Naruto wasn't sure what Sasuke was going to do and purely on instinct, his body tensed and his eyes slammed shut in preparation for any type of attack. He could feel his blood pulsating right between the two bones of his collar bone as he waited. But instead of a sharp taunt or vicious strike, he felt two fingers ghost over his bruises. Sasuke didn't press down, instead letting his fingers just whisper above Naruto's skin.

Slightly surprised, Naruto slowly opened one eye to peek out. "S- Sasuke?" The look on the raven's face was one that Naruto couldn't quite place.

Sasuke shook his head, his hand falling down to his side and burying itself in the pocket of his pants. "C'mon, dobe. You're house is just down here."

"O- Oi, I know where I live!" Naruto indignantly replied, shaking himself of what just happened.

"Hn."

"Are we back to that again?"

"Hn."

"You know, I think I could ask you anything and you would reply with that 'hn' of yours."

"Hn."

"Urrrg!" Naruto growled. "You're so annoying! What _is_ your problem?"

"Hn."

Naruto resisted the urge to slap his forehead. Instead, he sighed, "I sure do wish you'd actually say what you want to for once… Eh?" Naruto turned to look over his shoulder only to see that Sasuke had stopped, arms crossed. "Eh?" he repeated intelligently. "What's wrong with you _this_ time, Sasuke-teme?"

"Dobe," Sasuke began calmly before gesturing in the general direction that was left of him. "Your home?" he finished.

Naruto blinked and looked over in the direction that Sasuke had pointed to. "Dah! Where did that come from!" he exclaimed, pointing.

"Ba. Ka," Sasuke teased lightly.

Naruto colored before stomping passed Sasuke and up his walkway. "I'm not even going to say good bye to you, you jackass," he growled loudly, not bothering to turn around. Naruto heard a 'hn' from behind him and ground his teeth. He froze, however, and squinted, leaning slightly to peer through the window.

"What are you doing?" Sasuke called from the sidewalk, apparently seeing Naruto's odd behavior.

"Yesss!" Naruto cheered, pumping his fist. He then did what was some sort of victory dance right there where he stood.

Sasuke wasn't sure whether to thwack the idiotic blond or be amused by the display. He wasn't sure what Naruto was so excited or why he was making such a scene. But with Naruto, it seemed that nothing really needed to be explained.

Naruto turned to face Sasuke and grinned merrily. "Ne, ne, Sasuke-teme, wanna come in?"

Sasuke raised a brow. Suddenly Naruto wanted to spend _more_ time with him? Hn. Was this some sort of trick? Was he going to walk in and as he passed through the doorframe, something would fall on his head?

"And why would I do that, usuratonkachi?" he asked, crossing his arms—it seemed crossing his arms was his favorite thing to do that day.

"Teme!" Naruto nearly stamped his foot in frustration. Instead, he stomped back over to Sasuke and grabbed his arm. "For once, just listen to me, okay?" Naruto dragged the raven up to his front door and Sasuke glanced at him almost curiously.

"Won't your parents mind having an intruder?" he pointed out blandly.

"Nah, they're not home," Naruto replied, unlocking the door and pushing it open. He kicked off his shoes and pushed them into the corner with his feet. "In fact, that's the only reason why I'm letting you in at all."

Sasuke hesitantly peered around—checking for booby traps, no doubt—before taking a small step in. "Hn," he hummed. Almost immediately after stepping through the door frame, he tensed and braced himself for something—what that something was, he wasn't sure, but knowing the broody raven, it was most likely something painful and torturous. When nothing jumped out and went, "Ha! Gotcha! Now prepare yourself as I shove these cough drops down your throat!" he also slipped off his shoes. But instead of unceremoniously shoving them like Naruto had, he neatly placed them on the mat. (Though Sasuke would never admit it, he was half expecting some small creature to jump out and snatch his shoes before running off into the sunset cackling evilly.)

"Geez, teme. You really are a sophisticated neat freak."

Sasuke snorted. "Hardly," he replied blandly. "I just have something that you've probably never heard of—manners?"

Naruto stuck his tongue out. "Oh, har-har. Laugh it up, why don't you?" Sasuke didn't reply so instead Naruto turned, growing slightly excited. "Come on; come on!" he demanded.

Naruto gave him a very short and basic tour, not even bothering to step into each room he pointed out—"Over there is the living room, somewhere in that direction"—he waved in the general direction to his left—"is the kitchen. The room behind that door is the bathroom and that one is an extra room. And there are two other rooms back by the main door"—and Sasuke couldn't resist the urge to comment.

"Wow, dobe. I'm amazed at your skills. You ever think of going into professional touring for foreign countries?"

"Comment _not_ appreciated," Naruto retorted. "Oh, yeah, and this is my room." He stopped and pushed open his bedroom door and immediately leaped at his bed, landing face-down in the quilts, legs and arms outstretched so he looked like a human X.

Sasuke pinched his nose at the display and daintily stepped in, his dark eyes almost immediately flicking around the room, taking in every aspect, nook, cranny, and fine detail.

"It's not going to attack you, ya know," Naruto commented dryly from atop of his bed as he flicked through a black binder.

"Hn." Though Sasuke still was so sure about that one… "What is that?" he murmured as he padded over to the bed, craning his neck slightly to check it out.

Naruto turned it so Sasuke could get a better look. "Just a case for some CDs. A lot of them are from when I was younger, though…"

A fine dark brow quirked as he sat down beside Naruto on the bed. "And what does that mean?"

"It _means_… half of these are really gay," Naruto grumbled. "Dah! I found a good one! See, teme, I think you'll like this cuz, ya know, you're all—what's with the glare?"

"What glare?" the raven asked in near monotony.

Naruto threw up his hands. "What _is_ your problem? Do you see normal people walking around, glaring fit to kill and talking in that- that totally un-cool way of yours with no emotion? No, of course not!" He grumbled to himself for a few seconds before peering over at Sasuke. "Are you…" His eyes narrowed slightly as he inspected his companion. "Do you have bastard-idos?"

Sasuke really wasn't sure what to make of that one. "Beg pardon?"

Naruto just rolled his eyes and slid to his feet, shaking his head. He opened his small boom-box that was sitting on the floor at the head of bed and placed the CD inside. "No matter, I suppose," he finally said as he fiddled with the buttons. After a second, he stepped back and put his hands on his hips, looking almost proud of himself.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes at the little box as he awaited his doom. There was a small pause as the gears shifted and went to work within the small contraption before something clicked and—

"Mother of—_turn that down_!" Sasuke immediately covered his ears.

Naruto jumped out of his skin and also covered his ears as the music blared out of the small device. He dared not put his face too close to it in case the noise would give him hearing loss. So instead, he pushed in a random button with his toe.

The boom box continued to belt as loud as it could from its electrical lungs.

Sasuke wondered how thick Naruto's windows were and if they were going to shatter anytime soon.

Naruto continually jabbed at the stupid thing with his toe.

The volume somehow got turned up even louder.

Sasuke started to grow dizzy.

Naruto kicked the CD player for all he was worth, no longer caring if he broke it or anything of the sort.

The boom box seemed to grow indignant at that and continued to blare at them, almost taungtingly.

Something started cracking in the wall that was Sasuke's patience.

Naruto decided it was fine to have irreplaceable ear damage once he glanced over and saw Sasuke fuming, looking much like a rabid dog about to snap.

The boom box didn't give a dang-diddaly-dang whose ears it shredded and continued to belt out music. It was, in fact, so loud at this point that it was impossible to make out any of the words to the song and the instruments all blended into one, blood-curdling shriek.

Sasuke swore the cursed thing out with as many obscenities as he knew, even going as far as to make up some of his own.

Naruto was on his hands and knees by this point, squinting at the small thing. The music was doing nothing to help his concentration and he couldn't focus on what the wording above the buttons said long enough to actually read it.

And suddenly—

Everything stopped.

Even the electricity.

Naruto blinked in confusion as the music abruptly stopped mid-screech. His eyes flicked around the room in confusion as everything went black.

"What the hell? I can't see a _thing_!"

Sasuke seemed completely unperturbed by the fact that it was hard to see anything. "It's not _impossible_ to see. There's a window right over there and the moon is shining in."

"Liar!" Naruto accused, throwing his hands up. "I can't see _anything_! What do you mean it's not impossible? Lies; lies, I tell you!"

"Just get a flash—"

"It's _really_ dark in here and the sun isn't even up anymore!" Naruto blabbered out, trying not to panic.

"If you would listen for a sec—"

"I mean, cuz… it's almost nine or something!"

"Calm down, dobe, and just—"

"Do you think we can bribe the sun into rising again?"

"Just listen to me for a _second_ and we can—bribe the sun into rising again?" he echoed after Naruto's words sank in. "How the hell would we…?"

"Alright, teme," Naruto breathed, trying to calm himself down. "Let's think about this rationally."

Sasuke made a face the absurdity of his straying thoughts. "How the hell would you bribe the _sun_…?" he mused aloud.

"Temeeeeee," Naruto whined. "Now is not the time to acting like an idiot. I thought you were more mature than that!"

Sasuke decided not to answer, and instead settled for shooting Naruto a flat look.

"What are we going to _do_, Sasuke-teme? What? What; what; what; what; _what_?" Naruto put two fingers to his forehead as he chanted, hoping against hope that some magical idea would pop into his head.

"Do you have a flashlight?" Sasuke asked blandly.

"Teme!" Naruto snapped. "I told you this wasn't the time for your stupid—flashlight?" He blinked at the thought before brightening. "Flashlights! Oh, of course! Why didn't I think of that?"

"Oh, I wonder," Sasuke dryly commented before deciding to save the mocking for later. "Where do you keep the flashlights?"

"Uhhh…"

"…You don't know, do you?"

"Of course I know where they are!"

"Mm-hmm," Sasuke hummed. "I'm sure."

"I do!" Naruto huffed indignantly. After briefly thinking about it, he continued, "I mean, I _might_… I _did_ at one point…"

"What point in your life did you know where they were?"

Naruto nodded reassuringly to himself. "We used to have a bookcase and the flashlights were always on the top shelf next to the older paperbacks."

"And where is this bookcase?" For some reason, Sasuke had a feeling that this was going too smoothly.

"Um…" The blond screwed his face up as he thought about it. "I think we threw it away about four years ago."

If Sasuke were to give off any dialogue, the only thing it could possible be was: "…"

"What?" Naruto defended. "So it might've been five."

"That's the last time that you remember seeing a flashlight?" Sasuke struggled to keep his voice from trembling in frustration at the idiocy of his companion.

"Well… yeah," Naruto admitted. He had the modesty to sound at least sound slightly sheepish. "After that, I had my Kyuu."

Sasuke's right eye squinted slightly in a restrained twitch. "Come again?"

"Kyuu, my fox-shaped nightlight," Naruto clarified.

And once again, the only thing that Sasuke managed to say was: "…"

"What?" Naruto blinked, unsure as to what had shocked the Uchiha into silence.

Sasuke just shook his head. "Never mind, I do _not_ want to know."

"So… then… um… what now?"

"_Now_ we're going to have to look around for those flashlights."

Naruto's expression told Sasuke exactly what he thought of that. "But I don't have a clue where they are," he whined.

"That doesn't matter," Sasuke reprimanded. "Besides, if we think about it logically, we can figure it out." He paused—Naruto took that as an opportunity to whine—and briefly thought it out. "You said you just moved, right?" he slowly asked.

Naruto nodded. "Yeah. Moved in about five days ago."

"Did you unpack everything?"

Naruto shook his head. "Nah. Just things like dishes and the furniture. I don't even have my manga," he replied, tone mournful at the mention of his absent comics.

"And where are the boxes that aren't unpacked?"

"Downstairs in the basement."

Naruto heard something shuffle and squinted into the darkness, hoping to evolve into some higher species and suddenly be able to see. "Where are you?"

"Right here."

Naruto yelped and whirled around, hand held over his heart. "Don't _do_ that!" He let out a shaky breath as his heart rate slowed and frowned. "Um… how will I know where you are? If you turn and I don't, we'll be lost…"

"We're going to the same place," Sasuke pointed out, idly holding up his hand and examining his nails in boredom despite the fact that he couldn't even see said fingernails. "I doubt we'll lose sight of each other."

"But… but it's _dark_ and one of us could fall and break a leg or something!"

"Dobe," Sasuke interrupted, "I am _not_ holding your hand, if _that's_ what you're getting at."

There was a silence on Naruto's behalf for a long while before: "I… didn't want to _hold_ your _hand_. That's… that's… well, stupid."

It was quite obvious from his tone that thirty seconds ago, the idea hadn't sounded so stupid to him.

Naruto jerked forward when something grabbed onto his hand and yanked. "Eh?" Blindly, he wriggled his fingers around to figure out what had happened.

"Alright, continue molesting my hand and I'll leave you up here alone."

Naruto blinked in surprise as he figured out that there was another hand in his grasp. "You…" He squeezed the hand before continuing, "You're holding my hand!"

"I am not afraid to let go of it, either."

Naruto took the hint and shut his yap.

* * *

"Ow—!"

"You're on my _foot_!"

"_Ow_—!"

"That. Is. My _foot_."

"OW!"

"This isn't working!"

Naruto threw his hands up. "OW, I said! I said it over and over again! Move that thing _now_!"

Sasuke raked a hand through his hair as he struggled to remember just _why_ he put himself in such a predicament in the first time. "Alright. Just move that box—"

_SLAM._

"—slowly…" Sasuke drifted off as something shuffled. "What was that?"

"I found something!" Naruto cried victoriously.

"Wonderful," Sasuke quipped. "But the nightstand is _still _sitting on my foot and my hands are still full of your junk."

"It's not junk!" Naruto immediately defended. "It's a gift from the gods! Manga is something that should not be questioned or insulted. Ever. Remember that, would you, teme?"

"Just remove the stand from atop of my foot, would ya?"

"Sure; sure." Naruto lifted a leg and kicked said stand over.

_CRASH_.

Sasuke's toes tingled as blood returned to the digits. "Good job, dobe. You didn't completely break it to bits."

"Eh. No one uses it anyway."

Sasuke put his load of boxes down, gift-from-the-gods-manga and all. "Anyway. We better search for those flashlights."

"Right." Naruto popped open a random box and shoved a hand into the contents, roughly pushing things around as his fingers sought out the light-giving appliances. His tongue slipped out of his mouth as he rigorously searched. His movements slowly halted, though, and he blinked. "Uh… teme?"

"What is it _now_?"

Naruto's mouth opened and closed slowly, making him much resemble a guppy fish. Finally, he managed, "There's… uh… something in here."

Sasuke didn't even glance up from the box he was sifting through. "Really now? Is it a flashlight?"

"Uh… no, but…"

"Then I don't care.

"…It's alive," Naruto finished.

This time Sasuke _did_ let his eyes flicker up to glare into the darkness. "What?"

There was shuffling as Naruto probed at it. "Dude, it's _furry_!"

Sasuke frowned. "Dobe, I wouldn't—"

"But it's kinda small…"

"Dobe Stop pestering—"

"Dude! It moves and it has a _tail_…" Naruto drifted off and made a face.

"_Dobe_." Sasuke's voice was demanding. "Stop it and leave it—"

He was cut off by an exclamation from Naruto once again. "It has sharp teeth! Uh… _really, really_ sharp."

"Stop putting your fingers in its mouth and leave it alone before it—"

Naruto yelped and fell flat on his bottom. His legs shot up from beneath him and slammed into the box that he had been looking through barely a second before. The box tipped and all of its contents spilled out with an assortment of clunks, rattles, and thumps.

"Bit me!" The blond's voice was full of disbelief. "That damn thing _bit me_! I think I'm actually bleeding…"

Sasuke found himself rushing over to grope at the darkness for Naruto's hand and inspecting it, though he wasn't exactly sure when he started to care about whether or not the dobe got hurt. After all, he _had_ provoked the poor animal and if Sasuke had been in its place, he would have also sunk his teeth into Naruto's hand. Who appreciated being poked and prodded?

He ran his thumb over Naruto's index finger and was slightly perturbed when he felt something warm and thick.

"You _are _bleeding," he muttered more to himself than anyone else.

Naruto irritably retorted, "What of—?" He stopped to yelp when he felt his finger being engulfed in something warm and wet. Naruto stopped breathing and his eyes widened dramatically when he felt something just as warm with the texture of fading sandpaper glide down to wear that _thing_ had bit him. "S… S… Sasuke?" he called in a slightly shaky voice. "What are you…? My finger is, uh… in- in your mouth. You, uh… you know that, right?"

He felt Sasuke's head dip in a nod.

"Ah… o- okay. Uh… but, uh, won't that… you know, just infect it?" Naruto wriggled nervously, unsure as to whether he was supposed to rip his hand out of Sasuke's grip or allow the dark haired man to… would 'nurse the wound' be the right phrase in such a predicament?

Naruto decided that it didn't really matter and shoved the thought aside. Instead, he opted to try and make out Sasuke's dark figure in the dim lighting and attempt to watch him and maybe figure out what he was doing.

Sasuke wasn't quite sure _what_ he was doing, though. He wasn't one of those weirdoes who adored the taste of blood. Quite the opposite, in fact. He had always hated everything about blood. He also wasn't one to go sticking things in his mouth, either. What he was doing was going against his moral code. As well as that…

Something had bit Naruto. Some small creature had _sunk_ its _teeth_ into Naruto's skin—he fought off the small bout of fiery hot prickles that danced in the back of his mind at the thought—and now that same area of skin was in his mouth. Random animal germs and all.

So, something had just_ bit_ Naruto… and now Sasuke was basically saying, "Ooo, lemme have a taste!" (Either that Naruto was taking it as a "I vant to suck yah _blood_!" type of thing involving those stereotypical vampires in those stupid old movie clichés.)

Charming.

Really, it was.

He stifled the urge to gag and slowly pulled Naruto's hand away from his mouth. His immediate wish was to spit out every ounce of saliva in his mouth and then scrub every nook and cranny with a toothbrush. Maybe even gurgle some sort of antibacterial gel. Right then, he didn't give three hoots that doing so had a likelihood of possibly killing him. He swallowed—nearly gagging on the saliva—and turned his attention back to Naruto.

Naruto hadn't moved. His injured hand was still suspended in the air and he was staring at Sasuke with wide eyes, unsure as to what to do.

"What bit you?"

Naruto cleared his throat. "I, uh, think it was a rat."

He was very confused when Sasuke made some sort of choking noise.

"Oi, teme, are you—?"

"Let's keep searching for the flashlights. They have to be around here somewhere," Sasuke interrupted him. He sounded like he was choking as he spoke.

"Um… okay then. I'll go through this box and you go through that one there," Naruto instructed. Sasuke nodded in agreement, even though Naruto wouldn't be able to see that he did so, and they resumed their—

"_Kyaa_!"

_SLAM_.

—search…

Sasuke looked over and squinted when he saw something flying through the air in his general direction. It landed with a heavy _thump_ and rolled a few feet across the concrete before coming to a stop. Sasuke opened his mouth to ask what had happened but was cut off before he even started by a few colorful curses.

"Purple-llama-of-a-triangular-chimpanzee-for-Christ's-sake-that-_hurt­_-dammit-to-hell-with-a-seamonkey-in-pigtails-shit-with-pirates-and-chips-and-dip-screw-it-all-sideways-with-a-fork-what-in-the-seven-layers-of-hell-acorns-upside-down-in-your-_ass_-I-goan-_kill_-the-sun'a'bitch-that-there-where-did-I-just-_throw_-that-thing-it's-goin'-_down_!" (3)

The dialogue was all one sentence and thus held no punctuation. Naruto had thrown out that stream of… curses so fast that Sasuke hadn't been able to make much sense of it, but he got the basic gist:

Naruto fell on something.

It had hurt like a "sun'a'bitch."

Naruto was currently in a _rawr-I-eat-the-blood-of-puppies-for-dinner!_ mood.

All that added up was the cause of Naruto's colorful mouth, Sasuke supposed…

"What did you trip on?"

"I dunno," Naruto stiffly replied. "I threw it."

"Is _that_ was that was?" Sasuke turned to look in the general direction of where he remembered hearing something land not but a minute ago.

"Wait!" Naruto cried, arching his back slightly as he reached behind himself. "There's another one!" He grabbed a hold of the cylindrical item and raised his arm to chuck the damn thing as far as he could. However, the moment it left his fingers and went sailing through the air, he realized that it was rocketing towards Sasuke. Only one thought seemed to sum up the situation at that point: _Aw, shit._

"Sasuke!" he called, hoping that by some divine intervention, the raven would somehow see the small, heavy item that was heading right for him and duck, dodge or what have you.

"Wha—?" Sasuke was cut off as said item connected dead on with his chest and collar bone, bouncing off of him like a ball bounces against a wall with a meaty _thump_. It clattered to the floor noisily where it made a grand exit by rolling off into the distance.

"Eek! Sasuke!" Naruto hands flew up to keep him from crashing into anything and he speedily closed the distance between them. "Are you—?" Something connected with the back of his head. "Ow! Bastard, what was that for?" he demanded, rubbing the area that Sasuke had attacked.

"Did you _have _to throw the damn thing?" the dark haired man waspishly demanded, idly rubbing at his chest.

"Eh? Does it hurt that bad? Lemme take a look—"

"Dobe, stop moving—"

"Well, move your hand, bastard! I can't inspect the damage if—"

"Let me get my balance first, at least, would ya?" Sasuke snapped, not at all appreciating the fact that he just admitted that he currently wasn't steady on his feet. "I'm going to—"

Turned out that Naruto wasn't willing to back off for even a second and was attacking the base of Sasuke's neck as he tried to pry Sasuke's hands off. As such, Sasuke wasn't given the time to correct his equilibrium. Thus, both the raven and the blond went crashing to the ground, the blond sprawled across a slightly miffed raven.

Naruto groaned and erected himself so that instead of laying flat-out on Sasuke he was kneeling—with one knee between Sasuke's legs, but who was paying attention to such small details?—with his hands on either side of Sasuke's head, acting as a support.

"Sorry," he grumbled as he prepared to stand up. However, Sasuke—who had responded to the apology with a strained "hn"—had apparently decided he was also going to get up at the same time. Thus, his leg brushed up against Naruto's inner thigh.

Both boys froze. Every muscle in Sasuke tense and Naruto held his breath. Their eyes locked in the dim lighting and Naruto's heart sped up. The pulse in his neck also sped up, forming a lump in his throat. He could feel small sparks of something hot and almost animalistic creeping down his spine and before he could stop to think the predicament through, he had leaned down towards Sasuke's face. His left hand absently traveled over to where Sasuke had been smacked by the thing that Naruto had thrown and gingerly rubbed the skin there.

Even through his shirt, Sasuke could clearly feel Naruto's fingers and a warmth that wasn't necessarily unpleasant flooded his chest and raced around like a dog that had just remembered it had a tail.

Sasuke fidgeted, his breathing pattern going slightly erratic as confusion enveloped him. The motion, however, caused Naruto's motions to come to a screeching halt. Dark, murky eyes narrowed. "Dobe, what do you think you're doing?" he demanded, tone a little more harsh than he originally intended it to be.

"Che, bastard." Sasuke didn't miss the tremble in Naruto's words. But he was tremendously relieved—and something in the back of his mind pouted and shook its fist at such awful luck; Sasuke hunted said thing down at blew it up with a bazooka—when Naruto leaned back to sit on his haunches. The blond cleared his throat. "So… um… what exactly did I throw at you?"

Sasuke snorted and sat up, making sure to pull his legs away from Naruto so that they were close to his body. "I don't know. But whatever it was, it was heavy, that's for sure."

Naruto winced. "Uh, yeah, about that, sorry for throwing it at you. I swear I didn't mean for it—"

"It's fine," Sasuke said, successfully stopping another apology.

"Well then… do you want to find that thing and figure out what it was?" Naruto offered.

"Not especially."

Naruto didn't bother listening to Sasuke, though, and turned to his left and squinted as hard as he could into the darkness, the hope that he had evolved the ability to evolve into some higher species coming back to him once again. He slowly crawled over with his hands exploring the ground thoroughly. It was a 'fun' adventure full of small mishaps such as these:

"Oh! I found it!"

"You found my _leg_," Sasuke snapped, snatching said appendage away.

And:

"I found it for real this time!"

"Really?"

"Yeah!"

"…That is my other leg."

"…Oh…"

Eventually, however, Naruto finally found it—"for _really _real this time!"—and gave a triumphant cry as he latched onto it.

"And I found the other one," Sasuke answered, picking up the abused item that had been previously chucked across the room.

Naruto grinned victoriously as he fingered his prize. "I wonder what the hell it…" He drifted off, blinked, and frowned. He rolled the rubber, cylindrical item around in his hands before his fingers found a button. He pushed it experimentally. It gave a loud _cuh-click_ before the gears shifted and—

"It's a flashlight!" Naruto cried loudly, whirling to face Sasuke who winced as the bright light ravaged his corneas. Naruto remained oblivious to Sasuke's pain and said, "I threw a _flashlight_ at you, teme! Can you believe our luck?"

Sasuke blinked painfully and looked down at his hands. "I have one, too." He paused before shaking his head. "Only you would be idiot enough to trip over the flashlights." He pushed the switch up and it turned on, illuminating the room even more.

Naruto glared at Sasuke before deciding to allow the comment to slide. "Alright!" he chirped. "We have the flashlights! So… now what?"

"Well, where's your fuse box?"

Naruto blinked. "My what?"

"Tell me you know what a fuse box is." At Naruto's blank look, Sasuke gave an exasperated sigh and decided to explain. "It's a box that has switches and fuses that controls and checks the electricity coming into the house. Your stupid CD player probably just broke a fuse, so all we have to do is flip some switches and the power _should_ come back on."

"Teme!" Naruto huffed. "I knew that!"

"Okay, sure you did. Now just show me where your box is."

Naruto stood up with a scoff. "Cocky bastard. C'mon. I… I _think_ it's down here somewhere…"

"It'd probably be by the steps." Sasuke also stood and crept over to the flight of wooden stairs. After examining the wall, he motioned for Naruto to come over. "Hold the flashlight up so I can read this," he instructed.

His eyes scanned over the assortment of switches and labels. "Hn. Guess I'll just restart them all," he grumbled. He then flipped over the first switch before pushing it back into its original position. Sasuke repeated the process multiple times before he finally stepped back. "There. I'm done."

"But the light isn't on!" Naruto wailed, flailing his arms.

"We didn't bother to turn on the light when we came down," Sasuke very, very patiently pointed out. "It's not going to magically turn back on."

Azure eyes narrowed slightly. "Shaddup. I'm going to go check if the lights work." Naruto whirled and raced up the stairs. There was three seconds of blissful silence before the room blared to life with light and Sasuke dropped his flashlight to cover his eyes. After a few seconds, however, he remembered that he was an Uchiha and thus he didn't do such unbecoming things and let his arms fall to his side. Immediately, his eyes squinted shut to allow as little light in as possible.

"IT WORKS!" Naruto roared from upstairs.

Sasuke replied with a groan.

* * *

There was a long, drawn-out sigh from Sasuke as he sat down on the couch in Naruto's family room. "Alright, dobe. After a four hour battle, we have the power back on."

Naruto blinked. "Four hours?" He glanced over at the clock that was resting nearby and blinked again. "Oh. It has been four hours… Uh, wow."

"And your parents aren't back yet?"

"Hunh?" Naruto looked over at Sasuke, slightly confused.

"It's late, dobe," Sasuke informed him dryly. "_Very _late. It's past midnight. I should be home in bed at this time, in fact. But your parents are still absent. Care to elaborate?"

"Oh! So you're right. Hunh." Naruto crossed his arms and flopped down on the loveseat adjacent to the couch that Sasuke sat on. "Where are they…?" His brow crinkled in thought.

"You don't know? They're your _parents_… and you don't know where they are?"

Naruto pouted. "Give me a break here! I ha—" He stopped himself just in time from saying what he originally wanted to tell Sasuke: _I hate my parents_. "I haven't had a chance to talk with them since we moved," he said instead.

"Did they hint at going anywhere?" Sasuke deadpanned.

Naruto wrinkled his nose as he fought to recall the miniscule conversations he had with Mizuki over the last few days—

"Aw, shit."

Sasuke's dark eyes flicked over to Naruto, silently asking for him to elaborate.

"My, uh… okaasan is kinda having some sort of operation right now. So she'll probably stay at the hospital for the night. I'm not sure about Miz—my otousan." Wow, getting back into the habit of calling them mother and father was going to take some practice.

"And you just now remember this?"

Naruto scowled. "Feel fortunate that I remember this at all."

Sasuke decided that the subject of family was officially taboo. "Anyway, it really is getting late. I'll be going. What?" Sasuke asked when Naruto gave him a look fit to kill cats.

"You're a bastard, you know that? I have homework I need to do and because of _you_ I wasted four hours running around wasting time. Now it's late as hell and I _still_ have homework to do. And the homework fairy seems to have forgotten that Uzumaki Naruto exists lately," he groused.

"Where is your homework? I'll help you with it," Sasuke offered.

Naruto's eyes narrowed in skepticism. "How do I know that you won't feed me incorrect answers on purpose?"

"Do you think that highly of me?"

Naruto's look was answer enough.

Sasuke resisted the urge to rub his temples and sigh. "This would be a good bonding experience, dobe. You're supposed to agree and then we go frolicking up to your room giggling like school girls."

Naruto didn't reply, but instead crossed his arms huffily.

"You don't want to bond?"

Brilliant blue eyes narrowed. "I want you to _die_."

"Hn. Point taken."

Naruto's glare faded and instead, he crossed his arms and pouted again. "If I get shit from my teachers, I'm gonna kick your ass."

"You couldn't lay a finger on my even if you tried."

"Oi!" His appearance became vicious again. "I can fight, you know." _I, uh, just don't like to,_ he mentally added.

"Che. For some reason, I doubt that."

Naruto was about to retort but was instantly distracted when he heard the front door creak. He tensed and jumped to his feet automatically.

"Oi!" a very peeved Mizuki yelled. "Where the hell are you, damn brat? We have something we need to talk about."

Naruto swallowed and his eyes shifted over to Sasuke. It was hard to read what Sasuke was thinking. Really hard. Sasuke's eyes had narrowed and he was staring at the door frame intently, like it would give him the answer to world hunger and would end the war and bring the troops home.

He bit his lip and took a hesitant stop towards the door frame. "I'm in here," he replied. He never would've given Mizuki two cents if Sasuke hadn't been there, truthfully. But he didn't want this turning into a scene—he really, really didn't—and if Mizuki saw Sasuke, he would calm down long enough for the raven to leave.

"I have a fuckin' bone to pick with you"—Naruto mentally cringed at the profanity; even though Mizuki was foul-tempered, serious swearing was one thing that he rarely did—"you damn brat. Perhaps you can explain…" Mizuki drifted off as he stepped into the living room, his eyes automatically darting over to Sasuke—and narrowing slightly, but who paid attention to such small details?

Sasuke's jaw set as he gave a small bow of courtesy. "Forgive my intrusion, sir."

"Not at all," Mizuki replied stiffly before looking over at Naruto and grinning. Naruto's eyebrows shot up and he blinked several times at the gesture. "Why didn't you tell me you had a friend over… and _so_ late at night. One might start to think things, you know," Mizuki joked lightly.

Naruto was starting to wonder if Mizuki had maybe had some drugs slipped into his water at the hospital and was now currently lost in Wonderland.

"Yes, I apologize for that. I never intended to stay so long. I'll be leaving, then." With that Sasuke looked over at Naruto and nodded in farewell before heading towards the door. The moment that it clicked shut behind him, Naruto's gaze flicked back to Mizuki.

Mizuki was looking in the direction of the couch where Sasuke had been sitting. "Who was _that_?" he demanded, tone dripping with distaste.

Naruto stiffened and he glared. "A friend."

Mizuki sneered. "I bet he is. What was he doin' over here so late, huh? I never would've pegged you for a queer, but I suppose it suits you well."

Naruto's spine went rigid and his shoulders tense, making him stand up straighter. "What was that?" His eyes narrowed at his foster father.

"He looked like the type of guy who would hang out with an idiot like you," Mizuki continued. His nose wrinkled in disgust. "What? Is he some sort of delinquent?"

Naruto bristled. "Sasuke _isn't_ a delinquent," he snarled. "And I am _not_ gay."

Mizuki's face lifted in a snarl that was much too animalistic for comfort as he remembered his original reason for talking to the brat. "I'm sure that this will come as no surprise to you, but as I was in the _recovery room_ the evening, I received a phone call. Wanna guess who it was?"

The blond mentally cringed and then darted to hide behind a huge rock. This was a conversation that was not going to end well.

"It was your _school_ that called me, telling me that not only did you ditch your classes, but you also basically told the teachers to piss off when they tried to stop you."

Naruto decided that saying nothing was the best thing at this point so he dug his teeth into his lip to keep from hotly retorting about what he really thought of those teachers.

"You know what that means." Mizuki yanked his wallet out of his pocket and flipped it open before ripping out a small white rectangle. "The deal is off. I'm _burning _the damn picture," he snarled.

Naruto jerked. "Wha—_no_! You bastard, that's _my_ picture!"

Mizuki's eyes smoldered and his hand clenched around the picture of Naruto's parents, crumpling it. "_What_ did you just call me?"

"You heard me!" Naruto was inwardly bashing himself over the head for digging such a grave. This was _definitely_ not going to end well at all.

And without any warning, Mizuki took the picture between his both of his thumbs and forefingers. And then Naruto heard a short, crisp rip and the picture was in two. Naruto stared—morbidly fascinated and unable to move—as Mizuki lined up the two halves and jerked his hands again, causing it to divide into four pieces.

Then eight.

Sixteen.

Thirty-two.

The pieces grew in number and smaller in size with each passing second and all Naruto could do was watch, slack-jawed and wide-eyed like a deer caught in headlights, as the only proof of his parents was utterly _destroyed._

Destroyed. Beyond repair. Never to be seen again. Gone with the wind. Vamoose.

Mizuki finally decided that the pieces were too difficult to shred any farther and as such, opened his hands and allowed the scraps to flutter to the floor.

Naruto's blank eyes traveled down with the remains of the picture. The tiny, fluttering squares looked almost like late autumn leaves that had been kicked up and left at the mercy of the wind…

When the last small scrap hit the floor, a fiery hot flame burned the back of his throat and quickly spread down his chest and pooled in his stomach. His hands balled into tight fists and trembled ever so slightly. An electrical jolt of emotion struck the back of his mind, leaving it white-hot.

Naruto's patience with his ever-loving guardian snapped. And his temper was straining at its leash, begging to be released, even if for a second.

And were there any reasons why Naruto _should_ restrain his fury? Any reasons why Naruto should keep himself from turning Mizuki into a live punching bag? Any reason for not strangling him and beating him and shattering his skull and slamming his head against a wall a few times and making him bleed and—

_Because I'm not the monster he says I am_, Naruto answered himself. _Even though I would really like to hurt him—_

Mizuki smirked, his lips moving upward at the speed that molasses spread across a slice of bread. And when he spoke, even his words were like molasses—slow and thick. "I hope you're as miserable as I feel. Really, I do. I'm not even sure why you're still under my roof. You're a delinquent, a problematic child, an idiot, a pain to deal with, and now you're even a queer."

Queer. That was the word that made him react. "Shut up, bastard," Naruto hissed. He had the childish impulse to jam his fingers in his ears and go: "La, la, la, la, la, la—I can't _hear_ you!—la, la, la, la, la, la." Instead, he gritted his teeth and continued, "I don't know why you hate me; really, I don't. I also don't know why you bother with me if I'm that much trouble. If you hate me so much then leave. Me. The fuck. _Alone_."

Everything happened at break-neck speed after that. Mizuki flicked the catch of his belt and with a violent yank, whipped it out of the loops of his pants. His face contorted and his eyes were tiny slits. "Don't you _dare_ use such language with me!"

The belt came down, roughly aimed for his face and neck, but instead of allowing the polished leather to make contact with his skin, Naruto's arm flew up. He felt the bite of the belt on his wrist. He knew it was going to welt almost immediately and was glad that he had blocked the attack. That hit probably could've taken off some skin if it had landed on the original intended mark.

Mizuki growled and ripped his arm back, brandishing his weapon as he prepared another strike. This time he went for Naruto's shoulder.

Impulsively, Naruto latched a hold of the belt and it bit into the underside of his wrist.

"Stop."

Both Mizuki and Naruto looked surprised at the command and it took several seconds for Naruto to realize that it had come from his own mouth. His eyes traveled up to Mizuki's and he nearly recoiled at the insane anger he saw there.

But apparently his demand had poked the stable half of his mind into consciousness because Mizuki took a step back. And even though that burning fury was still etched into his features, Mizuki's eyes had calmed down slightly.

Naruto fell backwards onto the loveseat with an undignified _fump_ when Mizuki shoved the belt at him. The blond half expected the older man to hit him again, only this time with his fists. But instead, Mizuki said in a low, rumbling voice: "I _will_ find a way to get rid of you. I can promise you that."

Then he whirled and stormed out of the room, clenching and unclenching his fists.

Naruto looked down at the dark brown belt that he still held and wondered what he was supposed to make of that.

* * *

For some reason, homeroom seemed to be the worst time of day. This was unsurprising. Naruto had always hated homeroom for some reason.

But Naruto found himself really, _really_ wanting to punch his homeroom teacher in the face. It wasn't often that a teacher pissed him off that much.

The man was just pure evil.

The moment he had stepped into the room that morning, his homeroom teacher—Naruto _still_ didn't know his name and he found that he no longer cared—had a hissy fit and a half, exclaiming about how Naruto had ditched detention the day before. And then proceeded to lecture him on the benefits of keeping appointments. And then proceeded to caution—threaten—Naruto that if he missed three detentions, he would be severely punished. And then proceeded to give Naruto a week's worth of detention as punishment. And then proceeded to warn—threaten—him that if he missed even one of the appointed detentions, it would turn into a month's worth,

So needless to say, the aura that Naruto gave off during math class was dark and sinister enough to threaten that of Gaara when he was in a dark mood, and that was quite the feat indeed.

"Uh… dude?" Kiba cautiously asked, poking Naruto's shoulder. He had finished spazzing out about Naruto having welts on his wrists—"See? I _knew_ someone tried to kidnap you!"—and had finally taken notice of the ominous cloud, complete with the occasional rumble of thunder, that hovered over the blond.

Naruto hissed, much resembling a snake, and slowly turned his head to glare ferociously at the Dog Boy.

"So, what bit you in the ass?"

In reply, Naruto hissed again, turning his head forward back to its original position.

Kiba frowned. "Seriously, Naruto, what's wrong?"

"Detention," Naruto grudgingly replied.

Kiba laughed at him.

And Naruto was not to be held responsible for the bruise that formed on Kiba's shin—a bruise that undoubtedly came from a powerful kick.

"So, what did my loser do to earn such a wonderful reward?" Kiba grinned, idly rubbing at his abused leg.

"Go burn in hell." Naruto squinted at the board and frowned when he saw the homework. "And take the math texts with you."

"Sorry, no can do. Last I heard, those evil books of doom won't burn."

Naruto had no problem in announcing his thoughts on what he thought of that with a loud profanity.

"So, anyway. How did your excursion go yesterday after our phone call?"

"Eh. I ran into Sasuke-teme." Naruto had to grin at the dark scowl that Kiba made before continuing, "And he walked me home and stayed for a while."

"Are you _sure_ you're the real Naruto? The Naruto I know would not be hanging out with bastards like the Uchiha."

"He's not… _that_ bad. We talked. I found out some stuff about him. It was actually pretty cool."

"_Cool_?"

Naruto frowned. "Yeah. It was cool. I like hanging out with him. I just don't _know_ anything about him." A thought struck Naruto and he snapped his fingers before pointing at Kiba. "Oh! Right! I keep forgetting to ask. What do you know about him?"

"Who?"

"Who do you _think_?"

"…Mm?"

"_Sasuke_," Naruto drawled.

"Oh. Him. Right. I actually don't know anything."

Naruto deflated. "I should've guessed."

"But I do know where you can get info on him."

"Eh? What, like _buy_ it from someone?"

Kiba considered that. "Nah, I don't think they'd sell it… At least, not for money."

And all Naruto could do was blink, completely lost. "What are we talking about here?"

A feral grin spread across the brunet's lips. "Did you know that Sasuke's local fan club consists of over eight-hundred members, both male and female, and is the largest club at this school, despite being underground?"

* * *

And _that_ was why green eyes were sparkling with mirth at him as he tried not to break out into a nervous sweat.

"So you want information on Sasuke-kun?"

The girl leaned forward as she asked it, her short, _pink_, choppy locks of hair slipping over her shoulders.

"…Yeah?"

She grinned again and leaned even farther towards him. Naruto almost felt like what she was about to tell him was some sort of wild secret that was not to be taken lightly. He found himself leaning forward slightly, as well. Why, he wasn't sure. Heat of the moment and his nervousness mixed together, he supposed.

"What's it worth?"

Naruto blinked. "What?"

The girl crossed her arms. "What's it worth to you?"

When Naruto continued to stare at her dumbly, she gave an impatient huff and leaned back to sit up straight. "What are you willing to give me in exchange for some info?"

"…I think I have five hundred yen…?"

The girl huffed again. "I don't _want_ your money. I don't _need_ it. I have plenty of that. What I _mean_ is, can you tell me anything in return?"

"You mean, like… things that you don't know?"

The pink-haired girl grinned. "Exactly!"

Well, why the hell was he bothering to ask for information in the first place? He didn't know _anything_ about the raven—aside from the fact that his family was dead and that he had a brother. But those were trivial and easy-to-access facts that this girl most likely already knew. He racked his brain for anything and immediately blurted, "He doesn't like music."

The girl remained unmoved for a second before one of her perfect eyebrows rose. "He doesn't?"

Naruto shook his head. "Nope. Told me so himself."

"Hunh… no music?" she mused aloud before shaking herself. "That is a very interesting piece of information… it shall come in handy one day." A far-away, starry look popped into her eyes and she clenched her fist, smiling gaily.

"What could come in handy?" a new voice interrupted.

The girl jerked out of whatever world she had been in and looked over at the new person. "Ino. What are you doing here?"

Another girl with long blonde hair tied back in a high ponytail crossed her arms. "I'm the vice president of SUFA, so I don't want to hear it from you, Sakura. I also need to know everything possible about Sasuke-kun just like you," she tartly explained.

"…SUFA?" Naruto repeated.

The blonde girl grinned at him. "It stands for Sasuke Uchiha Fan Association. I am Yamanaka Ino, vice president of said club and billboard brow here is Haruno Sakura. We're pleased to be at your servicel"

Naruto slid back in his seat when Sakura gave Ino a murderous look at the words _billboard brow_.

"Anyway, how can we help a cutey like you?" Ino cheerfully inquired, smiling brilliantly.

"I'd like to learn a little more about Sasuke—"

"Done," Ino chirped. "We're always happy to spread the Sasuke-kun love. But it comes at a price—"

"He doesn't like music," Naruto automatically interrupted.

Ino's mouth slowly closed and she blinked. "Excuse me?"

Sakura gave a pained sigh. "I know, isn't it horrible? All this time we've been trying to get him into a romantic mood by playing _love songs_…" She drifted off and sighed again.

"Wow… Sasuke-kun doesn't like _music_…" the blonde repeated, still in awe. "I thought it was impossible for someone to hate…"

"Eh, girls?" Naruto glanced over his shoulder to see the table that Gaara, Sino, and Kiba sat at. He could see Kiba glaring at him, most likely trying to make him hurry up. "Lunch is going to be over soon."

"Oh. Oh, right!" Ino's grin came back out. "What do you want to know?"

Naruto shrugged. "I don't know… I mean…" He had to admit that he felt a lttle dirty. He felt like he was sneaking around behind Sasuke's back, doing something like this. But he also really, _really_ wanted to know… "What do you know about his past?"

Ino's smile faltered for a second.

"Well, first off, what do _you_ know about Sasuke-kun's past?" It was Sakura who had asked and Naruto redirected his gaze so he was looking at her.

"Well… let's see… I know that he had a brother and that his family is dead. That's about it."

Ino looked away and when she spoke, her smile was gone and her voice was so low that it was almost inaudible. Naruto had to lean forward slightly to hear. "Sasuke-kun… Sasuke-kun's had a rough life. Do you know anything about his brother?"

"No, I don't. Why?"

Ino took a deep breath. "Uchiha Itachi is also a very handsome man. All of the Uchihas are—were—very good-looking. Itachi was no different. But… there just wasn't something _there _with Itachi."

Naruto licked his lips nervously. "You mean, like, he was mentally disturbed?"

He jerked when Sakura gave a hollow laugh. "That's putting it mildly," she mumbled.

"What are you talking about?"

Ino laced her fingers together. "Sasuke-kun doesn't have a family to this day because of Itachi."

Naruto tensed as he realized where she was going.

"In fact, Sasuke and Itachi are the only two surviving from the Uchiha family. And Itachi's the one to blame."

"You mean… that—?"

Ino nodded. "Itachi killed everyone in his family except Sasuke."

* * *

(1) _Wazoo_ isn't technically a word, but since I use it on occasion, I decided to put it in there despite the fact that a very red and very angry squiggly line is trying to tell me that what I actually meant to write was _wahoo_. Y'all know what I mean, though, when I say 'wazoo,' don't you? As in another word for dairy-air? XD

(2) A stupid question to ask? Yes, indeed, it is. But it's the first question that I blurt when I meet someone new. –nice guy pose-

(3) Heh. Those are all curses that I use every day. Some are copyrighted by me. Others are copyrighted by my friends. I have a bit of a… uh, colorful mouth when I get upset. Just like Naruto in this Fic. –sweatdrops and hides face-

--

**I know that the whole Gaara thing was rushed (and a bit of a disappointment), but after staring at the Gaara drama-llama for several hours, trying to figure out what to do with it, I remembered that I **_**HATE**_** drama-llamas. So I just shrugged and threw it out the window. Heh. Sorry. It might… erm… **_**might**_** come back later.**

**This really should've been **_**two **_**chapters since it was oh-so uuuuberly long (this is going to be the longest chapter ever with 43 pages to boot!) but I didn't want to break it up. I just didn't. Sawwy? And yeah, I know that the Itachi bomb was expected for **_**you**_** (yep, Itachi is a mental "rawr, I keeeeel jooooo!" bitch) but not so much for Naruto. So, yes. That is a dramatic ending. XD**

**Also... I know that there was no mad, mad smut, but it will come! But I am not going to rush it, so be patient, hm?**

**Oh, and **u47033732** (Woo, that name's a doozy), THANK YOU! for pointing out my mistake. :DD I never would've caught it. **

**P.S. I hate this chapter with a**_** fiery**_** passion and I don't know why. (I wish to kill this chapter; it was soooo boring. Rawr.) **_**PLEASE**_** tell me if you like this and if you didn't, what I can do to make it more enjoyable! Onegai?**

**P.P.S. Reviews are what make this Fiction possible! -smiles innocently-**


	5. Bored of Education

**Disclaimer: **Y'all better thank the dust mites in your hair that I don't own it. If I did, there would be no more children born in Konoha. Why, you ask? Everyone would be gay, of course! x3

**Pairings: **SasNar (eventually… give it some time.)

**Warnings: **_Mature language_ and _yaoi_ later on. Oh, and _fluff_. Can't resist the fluff. It's what fills the pillows you sleep on at night. Who says no to that crap?

**Chapter 5: **Bored of Education

"Why are you so interested in the Uchiha?"

Naruto turned to look at Gaara, slightly taken aback by the question. "What?"

"Why are you so interested in him?" Gaara repeated patiently. "He's a heartless sonnuvabitch who doesn't spare anything a second look."

"Gaara, knock it off." Naruto crossed his arms. "He's cool. What's wrong with me liking him?"

The red-head didn't say anything but his jaw locked and his mossy green eyes narrowed slightly as they walked into English. Naruto didn't miss the way Gaara sent I'm-goan-kill-you looks at Sasuke as they took their seats. Nor did he miss the way Sasuke replied with a holier-than-thou smirk.

He resisted the urge to sigh. Really, what was with those two?

He looked up when he saw that Iruka-sensei had come over to stand by him.

"Good morning," the teacher greeted amiably.

"Uh. Hi?"

Gaara momentarily looked away from the Uchiha to investigate what was going on. His eyes took in Iruka calculatingly as he no doubt determined whether or not to intervene and tell the man to buzz off.

"I'd like to speak with you, Naruto. Mind going into the hall for a second?"

Naruto blinked a few times, baffled as to why a teacher would be interested in speaking with him. "Uh. Sure?"

Gaara said nothing as the two walked out of the class but he did send a Glare of Promised Pain after Iruka-sensei as a warning not to do anything stupid to Naruto. He watched until the door closed and then turned his glare over to Sasuke.

Sasuke was looking right at him, smirking.

Gaara resisted the urge to snarl as his eyes narrowed even more. "I will _not_ say this again, so listen up, Uchiha." Even though he spoke in monotone, it was easy to pick up the animosity that the words held. "Stay. The fuck. Away. From him."

Sasuke's smirk stayed in place only now his eyes danced with amusement.

"What are you, his guard dog?"

The entire class quieted at they nervously watched the exchange. They all knew that no-one messed with Gaara or Sasuke. Ever. Ever in the history and future of ever. Gaara was perfectly capable of turning someone inside out if messed with and Sasuke…

The rule of thumb was to never upset the Uchiha. For everyone's sake.

Gaara scowled. "If that's what I have to be to keep you away, then so be it."

"Don't you think that Naruto should be the one to decide whether or not he wants to be near me?" Sasuke inquired coolly, smirk still in place.

Gaara's eyes darkened to an emerald shade with anger. "He has enough goddamn problems to deal with. Adding yours on top of his load is uncalled for. You will stay away from him."

The Uchiha just continued to smirk in his high and mighty manner, thoroughly enjoying the argument. His shoulders lifted in a quick up-down hint of a shrug. "I don't think that you're the one to make calls like that, now are you?"

Sasuke had to admit that he was impressed, though—he didn't even see Gaara move.

But he _did_ feel his back slam up against the plaster of the wall. His head snapped back with the velocity and he blinked when a hot, prickly pain tingled the back of his skull.

All right. Not cool.

He narrowed his dark eyes at the red-head. "I don't know who you think you are that you think you can just hang out with Naruto like you're… _chums_ or something," Gaara said slowly. His voice was low and unemotional. "But I'm going to tell you this right now. Don't you dare go near him again. I can assure you that I will personally see to it that if you don't, I will bust you up so that not even the crows would want to make your acquaintance."

Sasuke snorted, which necessarily wasn't the smartest thing to do at that point. Gaara was dead serious on protecting Naruto from whatever he thought/knew/foresaw the Uchiha doing.

"I have every right to be around him when and if I want to. This is completely his decision." A mischievous glint flashed in his dark eyes momentarily before disappearing. "And he sure wasn't complaining last night when—"

"That's quite enough, Uchiha," Gaara hissed, effectively cutting Sasuke off.

Despite the fact that almost every female in the vicinity was a mad-mad-mad Uchiha Sasuke fangirl, the female population in the room couldn't help but swoon over the fact that _the_ Shukaku no Gaara was facing down _the_ Uchiha Sasuke over the new, admittedly slightly adorable blond.

"What?" Sasuke inquired innocently. "If you would've let me finish, I would've said that he wasn't complaining about my company last night when his power went out." He paused for a second before raising a brow. "What did you _think_ I was going to say?"

Gaara tightened his grip on the Uchiha. "Are you hanging out with him just to get to me?" he growled. "Just leave him. _A. Lone._ Naruto won't tolerate being used like that. And even if he doesn't do anything about it, I will."

Sasuke lifted his hand and grabbed a hold of Gaara's wrist, applying pressure and slowly forcing Gaara to loosen his grip. "What I do is none of your concern," he replied evenly in a cold voice. "If I choose to use him to get at you, that's my business."

Gaara lifted his free fist to deliver a good blow when the door opened and the startled voice of Naruto came from across the room. "Gaara! What are you doing? Stop it!" And then he jumped over a desk and forced himself between Sasuke and Gaara.

"What the hell is going on?" Naruto demanded. He took no notice in the fact that his back was flat up against Sasuke's chest and that his arms were raised up so that it looked like he was caging the Uchiha away—

"_He was protecting his boyfriend!_" star-struck, albeit slightly jealous, fan girls would squeal to any listening ear later on. Said fan girls seemed to not notice that Sasuke almost immediately shoved Naruto away. They also overlooked that fact that it was then Gaara who yanked the blond behind him, shielding him from the Uchiha.

Because, come on, how romantic was _that_?

—as he chastised them both like they were transgressing toddlers. However, neither Gaara nor Sasuke were actually listening to him. Both were far too busy hosting a Glare-of-Doom contest.

It was hard to tell who was winning.

The oblivious blond didn't take note that he was being almost completely ignored and continued his rant. "—to see what? You two hooligans snarling and growling at each other like some sort of—!"

"Naruto," Iruka interrupted. "I'll handle this."

Naruto took a steadying breath but quieted long enough for Iruka to speak.

"Sasuke, Gaara," Iruka said. "You both will serve detention this afternoon with me and Naruto."

Every female in the room let out some sort of mourning sound at the thought of their precious-darling Sasuke-kun serving his first ever detention—"_all for that blond transfer!_"

And that was how Naruto became the target of the SUFA lynches.

* * *

Surprisingly, it was almost silent.

Almost.

The rhythmic _thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump _acted as background music for the incredibly tense atmosphere.

There were four people in the room: Iruka, Naruto, Gaara, and Sasuke.

Iruka sat in the front of said room in the teacher's desk, Naruto sat in a student's desk near the middle of the room, and Sasuke and Gaara sat on either side of the blond, glaring over his head at each other.

_Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump_.

Naruto continued to hit his forehead against the cool wood of his desk, bored completely out of his mind. An hour of sitting in a room doing nothing was way too much for him.

_Thump, thump_.

He wasn't sure just how long he'd be able to keep himself from going bonkers.

_Thump, thump_.

Though he had to admit it was nice to have Sasuke and Gaara for company. Though… it wasn't all that nice having them together in the same room; definitely not.

_Thump, thump, thump._

Why was it that time seemed to be so plastic during times like these? At that moment, Naruto would swear to his grave that at least a half an hour had passed. In truth, it had barely been ten minutes. No lie. He checked. Profusely. Every ten seconds for a while there, in fact. It took every ounce of control he had not to look back up at the clock once again.

_Thump, thump_.

The air almost seemed to be charged with electrical particles and the blond would bet his left arm that his two wonderful companions were doing everything possible to resist the urge to jump up and tear the other one to shreds.

Seriously. What the hell happened between the two in the past?

_Thump, thump_.

And he was not going to take Gaara's cryptic "We have always hated each other" as an answer. And "We have clashing personalities" wasn't going to cut it either.

Nope. Nuh-uh. Don't think so, buddy. He was going to get a straight answer.

_Thump, thump, thump._

If the two didn't kill each other first, that is. The air around him was still charged and the fine hairs on the back of his neck stood on end causing small goose bumps to flood his skin.

His rhythmic motion of picking up his head and letting it fall back to the desk's surface grew faster as he grew slightly nervous at the tension in the air.

_ThumpThumpThump_.

The two _weren't_ going to just jump up and leap at each other… were they?

_Thumpthumpthump_.

Well, in the worst case scenario, at least Naruto knew CPR… although the thought of having to use such a skill was not appeasing in the least.

"Naruto." Gaara's voice made the blond froze, poised above the desk with barely an inch between his forehead and the cool wood. "Stop it."

_Thump_.

His forehead fell down and connected with the surface of the desk and he slowly, slowly picked his head back up again. There was no way Gaara was going to destroy his only source of entertainment—

"Dobe. Don't even think about it."

Naruto stopped and slowly sat up, blinking in surprise at the raven. "… Eh?"

"You're going to give yourself a concussion," the dark haired teen pointed out.

Naruto sighed and leaned back in his chair dejectedly. He looked at the clock and saw that it had only been a little over ten minutes. He swallowed a groan.

"Naruto."

The blond looked over at Gaara questioningly.

"You won't listen to me, but you'll listen to the Uchiha?" Gaara questioned lightly. "Does something about that seem off to you? You'll listen to him, but not your best friend?"

Naruto rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to reply but Sasuke beat him to it.

"I guess that just shows who he likes more."

The blond whipped his head to give the Uchiha a smoldering look. _I'm going to kill you later_, he mouthed to the raven before turning back to his fuming friend.

"Gaara—"

"Or maybe he just doesn't like _you_," Sasuke continued, ignoring Naruto who was fervently waving his hands in a 'stop' gesture.

"Bastard!" Naruto hissed. "Stop it, will you? You're being an ass—Gaara, no, wait, _sit_!"

The red-head paid no heed to the spazzing blond and advanced toward Sasuke. The fact that there were three rows of desks separating them didn't perturb him at all.

He just walked right over them. Literally.

Naruto sputtered before scrambling out of his seat and latching onto Gaara's arm. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, _whoa_. Let's all just freeze and re-evaluate this predicament."

"You have three seconds to let go of me."

Naruto didn't even pay heed to the 'threat.' "How about we all just sit down and discuss our differences? And then at the end we can go all happy, hold hands, and maybe, just maybe if you're both really good, we can sing _Lean on Me_ and depending on the mood and how much time we have left, we can squeeze in _We are Family_." He smiled hopefully at both of them.

"… You will let go of my arm right now."

"I don't like music," Sasuke reminded.

Naruto let go of Gaara and threw both of his hands up in the air. "Oh, fine! Be that way! We'll sing that dratted song that the Purple Lord of Darkness sings all the time—_I Love You_. Everyone, and I mean _everyone_, knows that song, whether or not you like music."

There was a collective silence and Sasuke raised a brow while Gaara remained unmoved.

"When you say Purple Lord of Darkness, you're talking about… the purple reptile, no?" Gaara finally broke the silence by asking.

"Yeah, Baa-Baa-Black-Sheep or whatever his name was." Naruto nodded in agreement.

"It's Barney," Gaara impassively informed him.

"Yeah, yeah. That dude. So how about it? Whose up for a round of _I Love You_?"

* * *

Iruka had to admit that while he had been skeptical in the beginning, the book was indeed amazing. _The Memory Keeper's Daughter_ was too damn adorable for words. (1) It was written to make every little aspect, the good and the bad, beautiful and

"_I love you…_"

everything about it was just touching. While there was tragedy in it

"_You love me…_"

there was also some humor. He could very easily see why

"_We're a happy family_…"

it was a bestseller. When he first saw the book, he had been very skeptical

"_With a great big hug…_"

and had assumed that it was a huge sap story—which it was, but it was a _cute_

"_And a kiss_…"

sap story. And know what? Iruka no longer cared how sappy or sugary sweet it was. He always had been

"_From me to you…_"

somewhat of a softie. Besides, who didn't like sickingly sweet fluff every now and then?

"_Won't you say you love me, too?_"

Iruka blinked and looked up. He had a habit of getting so involved in reading that he locked out everything that he heard or that happened around him, but he was _sure_ he had heard…

"Alright, guys. I sang it for you, now we're all going to join in!"

He saw Naruto standing between the Uchiha and the red-head. While his two companions were looking at him like he had just suggested they all spend the rest of their time frolicking around in some frilly, pink dresses and proclaim their undying love of the world and everything in it, Naruto was beaming happily. He was also completely oblivious to Sasuke's and Gaara's pained expression.

"It's short, sweet, and simple," the blond assured. "Ready? Here we go!"

He took a deep breath and began singing in a serene voice.

"_I love you, you love me…_ Gaara, where are you going?"

While Gaara's expression remained passive, his eyes briefly closed as he most likely cursed out Naruto's stupidity. He then turned and stepped over the desks and took his seat again, burying his face in his arms (probably trying to block out the atrocious 'music').

Naruto stared at his friend for a few seconds before shrugging and turning back to the Uchiha. "Oh, well. His loss. As we were, bastard. We'll take it from the top." Naruto cleared his throat and Iruka noted with some amusement that horror flashed across the youngest Uchiha's face for a second.

"_I love you,_" the blond began, his voice once again serious and serene as he sang. "_You love me. We're a happy family. With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, won't you say you love me, too?_"

"Dobe," Sasuke began, sounding slightly choked.

"Why aren't you singing, bastard?" Naruto demanded.

Sasuke paused for a second as he thought up of something that would excuse him from having to sing. "… Because I'm too busy… 'enjoying' your song."

Gaara was once again ready to kill the Uchiha when Naruto beamed and broke out into an encore. And Sasuke knew he signed his death warrant when Naruto decided to sing for the entire rest of the detention.

The blond needed something to do, after all.

* * *

Naruto rubbed his temples as he reigned in his temper. "No." Gaara continued to stare at Naruto so he repeated a little more forcefully, "No."

"Why not?" Gaara (not so) innocently inquired.

"Because you two are going to start fighting or something!" Naruto looked over at Sasuke and then gesticulated wildly to get his point across.

Gaara also looked over at the Uchiha with a sour face before looking back to Naruto. "You would rather walk home with _him_ than with your best friend?"

"I'd rather make it home with everyone in one piece," Naruto dryly remarked.

Gaara crossed his arms and the blond knew that it would take a lot of bickering before he gave up. With a long-suffering sigh, he snapped, "Fine! But if either of you do _anything_ to instigate a fight, I will personally run you both through a blender!"

The red-head smirked and sent a condescending look to Sasuke.

Naruto mentally cursed out his ability to make persistent, stubborn friends as the trio started off down the road. Only a few seconds passed before he gave a haughty sigh and demanded, "Isn't anyone going to even _bother _to make some small talk?"

"I didn't know the Uchiha lived this way," Gaara drawled.

Naruto scrunched his brows in confusion and looked between the two. If he saw the very peeved look Sasuke was shooting at Gaara, he totally ignored it. "Eh? Really? Where did you… uh, _think_ he lived, then?"

Gaara's mossy green eyes flicked over to the raven and a holier-than-thou smirk that Naruto thought only Sasuke could pull off pulled at his lips. "Well, I was under the impression that he lived somewhere more… elegant."

Naruto was lost. "Elegant?"

"A mansion," the red-head clarified, going back to being indifferent.

Naruto wrinkled his nose and stared into the space in front of him. "A mansion, Gaara-chan? Are you fo' shiz?"

"Why would you have presumed such a thing?" Sasuke cut in, his voice clipped.

Gaara sneered. "I didn't _presume_ anything, Uchiha."

Sasuke's impossibly dark eyes narrowed and he opened his mouth to give a scathing retort only to be cut off by Naruto.

"Oh! Oh, forshizzle my nizzle!" the blond exclaimed, pointing a finger at something across the busy street.

Sasuke lifted an eyebrow. "What's up with the new vocabulary?"

Naruto showed no signs of hearing him. "Gaara! Gaara, Gaara, Gaara, Gaara, Gaara! Do you see what I see!?"

"I don't need to see it to know what it is." Gaara grabbed a hold of Naruto's arm. "But nonetheless, don't go running across the road like the stupid idiot you are."

Naruto anxiously twisted in Gaara's grip. "But- but- but!"

"No buts about it," Sasuke agreed. "You would run blindly across the intersection and get hit, with your luck. For once, I have to say I agree with Sabaku." He spat the words out and looked almost disgusted at the confession.

"But it's a _ramen_ vendor! You can _not_ keep me from ramen forever! Fo' shiz!"

Sasuke barely kept from closing his eyes and rubbing his temples in an attempt to fend off an incoming headache. "Have some when you get home."

"Oh, I will!" Naruto promised. "I'm also going to have some right now!"

* * *

Sasuke had never had cardiac arrest. He never really expected to have one either. In his opinion, it was nearly impossible for an Uchiha to suffer a heart attack. They were brought on by stress, bad cholesterol, a history of heart problems in the family, bad diet, and high emotions.

Sasuke had never experienced any of that. He knew how he was going to die, and it was not going to be from keeling over dead as something as small as the tip of a needle clogged his arteries and forced his heart to stop. No, he was going to live to be an old codger—but not too old; he wasn't sure how immune to arthritis his amazing heritage was—living in a million-dollar beach house, married to a lovely person. He was going to go sitting on a rocking chair, rocking slightly in the sea-breeze, holding the hand of the earlier mentioned 'lovely person.'

And Sasuke would like everyone to be assured that they will have a torturous and painful demise (that will include ingrown hairs and hungry crickets) if ever they even breathe a word about his dream-death being… _girly_. Most assuredly, Uchiha Sasuke is not feminine or girly in any form or fashion.

Funny how things seemed to go haywire when a certain blond idiot was involved.

"Dobe." Sasuke tried to make it two syllables emphasized with annoyance. Instead, it came out a weird croak that nearly had Sasuke look over his shoulder to make sure that yes, indeedy he was the one who made such a weird noise. He then put a clenched hand against the area of his chest and waited for his heart to start back up. Million-dollar beach house be damned. Sasuke had had a little bit of a spazz attack when Naruto—being the lovable idiot that he is—had done _exactly_ what both Gaara and Sasuke had predicted he would do and had ran blindly across the street. However, Naruto had been so euphoric at the sight of that condemned ramen stand that he hadn't bothered to wait just a few more minutes for the cars to pass.

Oh, no. Now _why_ would anyone ever do that while there was ramen around?

Sasuke felt his stuttering heart start back up and let out a painful breath. He wasn't sure if he was disturbed or not at how he had panicked when he saw a car nearly crash straight into Naruto. He also wasn't sure when he had ran out into the street to grab the idiot and get him off the road.

"Bastard," Naruto replied, the word coming out as both a haughty retort and a whine. "Let go of me!"

Still nearly breathless, Sasuke forced the fingers that were secured in an iron-like grip around the other boy's wrist off. They came off slowly, one-by-one.

"Where's Sabaku?" Sasuke apathetically inquired once everything was hunky-dory again. Mentally, Sasuke sighed at himself. What he had _wanted_ to do was thwack the blond upside the head and yell about how stupid he had been and then ask if he was okay. Sasuke consoled himself by reminding his woeful mind that he wasemotionally retarded and left it at that.

"Dunno." Naruto looked around curiously. "I think he disappeared…"

"I'm here."

Naruto yipped in surprise and whipped around almost defensively. "Gaara! Please don't do that; you _really_ scared me!"

Gaara shifted his mossy green eyes on Naruto and shrugged in apology. Naruto took a full three seconds to calm himself down before cheering up and rambling on about ramen and the goodness of the godly food. And then, almost randomly, he proclaimed:

"Sasuke-teme! You're treating me!"

A grin stretched across his features and he leaned forward, hands clutched behind his back and let out a "Nihihihihi" laugh. Sasuke looked at him and raised a slender brow.

"And, pray tell, why would I do something like that?"

Naruto's reply was automatic. "Cuz you're rich!"

Sasuke shook his head in near-exasperation and pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. "You are an idiot that only comes once every millennium, I swear."

"Thanks!" Naruto enthusiastically cheered.

"That wasn't a compliment," Gaara retorted for the blond's sake more than anything.

"Oh…" Naruto blinked as he realized what Sasuke had meant. "Oh! Hey! Teme, what's your problem?! For that comment, you're _definitely _treating me to ramen!"

Sasuke "che'd" and opened his mouth to protest but wasn't given the time to say anything. Instead, Naruto grabbed a hold of him and practically dragged him over to the ramen stand. Once they were at the counter, Naruto dove into a seat and babbled off an order of three bowls of miso ramen—each with an extra egg—and his words came out so fast they were jumbled over top of each other and combined. Despite that fact, the older man behind the counter taking his order seemed to perfectly understand what Naruto was trying to articulate.

Begrudgingly, Sasuke took a seat next to the blond on the right while Gaara sat down on Naruto's left. Gaara ordered something pork while Sasuke just shrugged and said he'd have whatever.

Naruto frowned at him for that comment. "He'll also have miso," the blond corrected, sending Sasuke a hot glare.

Once the orders were placed, Naruto started off in a non-stop chatter. His comments occasionally caused the young woman—"Ayame-nee" as Naruto called her—and the older man—"Teuchi-ojii"—to chuckle. Even Gaara occasionally shook his head with a weird half-smile at Naruto's weird and outrageous antics and opinions.

Sasuke remained silent, but for the first time in a long time, he felt completely at ease with being quiet and just listening—almost like a bird watcher enjoys listening to the melodious songs of various birds intermingling and merging, creating a symphony of wonderful and unique music. And once—right after Naruto mused aloud about how there should be some sort of ramen arena where everyone came to experiment in different types of ramen and sample them—Sasuke had to put his tongue between his front teeth to remind himself not to laugh aloud and join in the banter.

Before anyone knew it, the sun fell down and was hiding behind the trees and sinking still. They had definitely spent several hours at the small ramen stand. A few other customers came and went—Naruto chattered in their direction, too—and Naruto had gone through not three, but three _stacks_ of ramen by the time that the Gaara, Naruto, and Sasuke were getting ready to leave. Everyone but the blond—who was _still_ incessantly chattering about everything and anything—took three steps back to examine the pillars that had formed. Sasuke included.

"Yeah, that's basically that." Naruto nodded to himself as he finished some sort of tale. "Anyway, we best be off," he continued. Then, turned his attention to Sasuke and again gave that "Nihihi" laugh.

Sasuke, in turn, gave Naruto a hard look. "What's your problem now?"

The blond boy merely blinked at Sasuke wordlessly with an expression that said _what do you think, dumbass?_

Onyx eyes narrowed ever-so-slightly in annoyance. "Naruto," he started in a warning tone.

"What?" Naruto asked innocently. "I told you you were paying for the bill."

Sasuke gave an annoyed "che" and looked over at Teuchi expectantly. The older man handed him a small slip of paper almost apologetically with a timid smile. Sasuke mentally rolled his eyes at the man's actions (he was very sure that the price of the bill wasn't _that_ scary) and took the paper. His eyes scanned over it and he had to blink before looking over it again.

"Dobe," Sasuke said, deathly calm, "I think I'm going to kill you."

Naruto 'eep'ed, whirled, and fled the scene.

* * *

Sasuke had always been one for self-control. Seriously. When he was six years old, his bedroom door hinges had slipped out of place and his door wouldn't shut correctly. He had always been slightly afraid of his father so he had fished out an old hammer from a rarely-used tool box and tried to fix it himself. Since he had been little and he wasn't sure how carpentry worked (and he forgot a few basic principals of life and chemistry), he had forgotten to move his hand out of the way (or maybe in his child naivety he had forgotten that the hammer was not going to hurt him and he just didn't want to admit it). His thrust had been something fierce for a child so young and thus both his thumb and index fingernail shattered into fine pieces. His creamy-white, baby-smooth skin swelled up and turned purple as vessels were torn open and a steady stream of crimson blood flowed from his fingers. At first it was adrenaline that kept him silent, staring at his hand in mute disbelief, dumbfounded. Once his heart slowed down and reality sank in, along with the shredding, white-hot pain in his hand, he forced himself to keep from crying out. Sasuke had always had the best self-control.

So saying that he was three seconds from exploding was quite something. Especially since the cause of all his agitation was still within six feet of Sasuke. And breathing. And walking. And talking. And _not_ shutting up.

But more importantly than the… _annoyance_, was the _problem_.

Gaara looked over at Sasuke and narrowed his eyes in contempt, scowling. Sasuke responded in the same manner. Naruto's incessant babbling continued obliviously.

"Oi."

Sasuke continued to stare coldly. "What?" he demanded shortly.

"I really never planned on ever saying this to you, but thank you," Gaara bit out.

Sasuke had the decency to blink once in surprise but when he spoke, his tone was even harsher than before. "What for?"

Gaara's mouth twitched like it was in pain. Thanking people was below him—especially when it came to the Uchiha. "For pushing Naruto out of the street before. It's undeniable that car would've hit him if you hadn't…" Gaara drifted off and mentally choked on the words and died, going to Hell where mercy was shown on his poor soul and his thank you never took place.

Sasuke gave his usual holier-than-thou smirk and a cocky "hn." Before he had a chance to taunt the red-head any further, Naruto's loud voice boomed:

" 'Kay! Well, Gaara-chan, Sasuke-teme and I live up this way and you don't, so you need to leave now!" To finish his darling parting words, Naruto grinned brightly.

Gaara turned his attention to the blond and cocked a (non existent) brow. "You both live up that way?" he repeated indifferently. "I was not aware that the Uchiha moved any time soon. The last I heard, he lived in a mansion on the other side of town—"

"I'm staying over at Naruto's for a few hours today," Sasuke hurriedly interrupted as casually as he could. His dark eyes were expressionless as they locked onto Naruto's bright sapphire-blue. "We need some more time to get to know each other."

"Eh?" Naruto blinked in confusion. "Teme, weren't you the one complaining last night about how you couldn't stand being around me for—?"

"And I need tutoring," Sasuke continued just as indifferently.

Naruto blinked again in confusion while Gaara glared venom at the Uchiha.

"You're an honorary student. Surely, you wouldn't—"

"In history. I have problems remembering dates." The tone Sasuke used dared both Gaara and Naruto to challenge him on that.

Naruto thought about it for a second then brightened. "Well, I suppose it couldn't hurt!" he chirped gaily.

"Naruto, he's lying to you," Gaara bluntly said tonelessly.

The blond crossed his arms. "Gaara. Don't assume things! Sasuke may act all cocky and smart all the time, but it might be an act to hide the fact that he's actually really stupid!"

(Sasuke discreetly winced at the thought.)

Gaara tried to patiently continue. "He's lying to you about a lot of things. The tutoring excuse—"

"Nope!" Naruto crossed his arms and stuck up his nose. "I'm not listening to you. When you're acting more sensible I'll talk to you."

And with that, Naruto whirled and sauntered off.

Sasuke and Gaara exchanged a look at Naruto's weird farewell before remembering their hate-hate relationship and having a glare-off.

"TEME!" Naruto cried from down the street once he realized the Uchiha had not followed him like a good little puppy should. "Are you coming or not!?"

Sasuke grunted "hn," and grudgingly followed the blond across the road (but not before sending one last sneer at the annoying red-head).

* * *

Due to the storm of words that had been flowing non-stop from his mouth, Sasuke had expected Naruto to babble about everything and nothing on the walk home. So when the only thing that hummed in the air was complete silence, he was slightly surprised. Even more shocking, Sasuke couldn't tell if he was missed the babbling or not, which was _definitely_ weird.

The silence continued to stretch until they were just around the corner from Naruto's. It was then the blond finally spoke up. And even though the sudden breaking of the quiet was out of the blue and semi-surprising, the shock was _nothing_ compared to the feelings that washed over him at the dobe's words:

"So, you never told me about yourself… like, um, your family and all that jazz. So I… heard some things… about your brother?"

Sasuke's initial reaction was, of course, astonishment; but after half a second, it morphed into an intense irritation that calmly lurked in the back of his mind, like a tiger waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike, eyes gleaming. Sasuke's voice, when he spoke, was calm, despite it being drenched in his anger. That might've been what scared Naruto most of all.

"I don't think I would've taken you as one to gossip. It's quite surprising, really. But not unexpected, I suppose."

Naruto frowned. "I'm not a gossip," he protested. "But it's not like I can block out everything those obnoxious girls blabber about in class an' stuff…"

"Hn." It was Sasuke's only reaction.

They both turned and walked up to Naruto's front door. The blond pulled out his keys anxiously. Before he slid the key in, however, he decided to continue their conversation.

"Mind telling me about it? I mean… I heard the basics through… well, yeah, gossip, but I'd rather hear it from you, ya know. I don't like sneaking around."

Naruto wasn't sure if the tense smirk was one of wry amusement or annoyed irritation. Either way, he somehow just _knew_ that it was a sign of Sasuke consenting and as such, he pushed the key in the lock—the sound of the metal ridges running over each other being suddenly extremely interesting in the almost awkward atmosphere—and opened the door.

They both stepped into the empty home.

* * *

Naruto had to admit, he wasn't the biggest fan of tea. Not to say he hated it, per se, but if some rich asshole asked him to do a commercial for some sort of tea product, Naruto probably wouldn't do it—

Well… actually… he would, but only because he would get paid handsomely for it, not because of the product he would be advertising. But then again, who wouldn't do it for the money? Movie stars and those type of people were rich, weren't they?

But moving back to the point, while Naruto wasn't the biggest fan of tea, he _would_ drink it on occasion, he just preferred sweeter drinks like soda, juice… and hot chocolate—made with milk, of course.

Which was currently what Naruto had in his cup—hot chocolate. He was idly stirring it with a spoon, watching as the creamy brown liquid distorted his reflection in fascination. He was allowing the silence that had lapsed to stretch a little bit, hoping the hush would quell some of the emotions that were rioting within Sasuke.

And—for the record—Naruto did not like tea… but Sasuke seemed to love it. The Uchiha had, to date, gone through about thirteen cups of it since they had taken their respectable seats in the living room. Sasuke had let Naruto into his mind for a few minutes, retelling the gruesome slaughter of his parents with such lush details that Naruto had almost felt as though he had seen it with his own innocent eyes.

"So let me get this straight," he finally murmured, breaking the silence as last. He continued to stare down at his hot chocolate. "Your mother, father, brother, and you were the perfect ideal family—quirks, fights, flaws, and all—in the perfect neighborhood, in the perfect family home, with a perfect life and your brother just kinda stood up one day and said 'fuck this' and killed your parents?"

Sasuke gave Naruto a look for summing it up in such a blunt manner but grunted, "Hn."

The blond took that as a cue to continue. "And then, just to put the cherry on the cake, your brother made you watch it and then didn't kill you, but instead demanding that you hate him and try to take your revenge on him?"

That time, the raven didn't make any sounds, opting instead to sip at his tea.

Naruto, in turn, put his cup on the table, leaned back on the seat, and crossed his arms. "… Hunh. Well, that's just not normal."

Sasuke continued to sip his tea almost daintily, with a grace that men just weren't supposed to have.

Naruto watched him for a second before he started with the theories. "Did'ja ever think that he just got tired of playing the perfect brother role? I mean… well, _no one's _perfect, and always expecting someone to be perfect is a little crazy, don't'ch'ya think? Maybe he knew that…"

Naruto paused before moving on to the next hypothesis. "Or _maybe_ he pretended to be perfect and he was crazy from the start and he plotted to kill your parents from day one. But because he wanted some sort of physical reminded as to what he had done, he spared you to act as his anchor."

Another pause. Another theory. "_Or_ maybe he was going through one of those teenage phases were parents do nothing but annoy the hell out of you and he just had one annoying day too many and decided to wipe out the problem from the source. In doing so, he felt that he was acting as a warped savior of a sort and you would never have to know annoyance that parents can be."

Pause. New thought. "Or maybe he couldn't get ramen at school for lunch and all he wanted _really, really _bad was to eat ramen. When he got home, craving ramen still, he saw fish on the table for dinner and just went ballistic and got in touch with his killer side and thought '_I'll teach _them_ to not give me ramen!_' and so the psycho killed the mom and dad."

Pause. "Or maybe the bunnies—"

"Or maybe you ought to shut up now." Sasuke rubbed his temples, reigning in patience that he really didn't have at the moment. "The more you open your moth, the more stupid you grow."

Naruto pouted and grumbled, "Well, _I'd_ go apeshit, too, if I didn't have my daily ramen…"

"The was no ramen involved," Sasuke assured blandly. Naruto opened his mouth to persist his stupidity further, but he was cut off before given the chance. "Ever. Itachi wasn't a huge fan of ramen."

And _that_ started off a whole new rant.

"How can someone not love ramen!? It's a gift! A gift, I tell you! It was given to us out of pure love and compassion by geniuses of the world who had the _best_ taste in food! There's no way someone could be so cruel as to _not _love its rameny goodness!"

Sasuke remained unmoved. "He didn't like it."

A fire sparked behind cerulean-blue eyes. "I hate him, too! Down with the non-believer!" Naruto raised his arm in a very Hitler-like way.

The Uchiha was less than impressed. "It's none of your concern," he clipped. "I would appreciate it if you just stayed out of it and minded your own business."

Naruto blinked, his arm lowering. "I was just kidding, Sasuke," he murmured comfortingly.

Sasuke, however, wasn't comforted in the least. "You taking this as a joke isn't humorous in the least." His voice was low and deadly. "I know it may be difficult for your thick head to grasp the concept, but that was a very painful memory."

Guilt squeezed at the blond's heart. He really was an idiot, wasn't he? "I know that, Sasuke, and I'm sorry. I'm really didn't mean—"

"You _don't_ know," Sasuke snarled, his grip on the tea cup becoming so fierce that the porcelain creaked and groaned. "You just don't get _anything_," he continued, voice vicious. "I should have known that you wouldn't understand. You—with this happy little world you put yourself in. Do you think the world is that much of a surreal place? It's ugly out there, Naruto, and lonely."

Naruto could feel his entire body pulsing in tune with his heart, even his trembling lips. Sasuke looked… so lost. In his raw anger, he looked so…

"You're wrong," he breathed out.

… broken.

Sasuke's dark eyes locked onto Naruto and narrowed.

"You're wrong," Naruto repeated. "About me, about the world—about _everything_. You're just… so wrong. I know what pain feels like, Sasuke. I know as well as you do. I know what it feels like to lonely. I know what it feels like to be hopeless. I know what it feels like to be desperate for a purpose. I _know_."

"How would you know anything?" the raven snarled. His eyes bore into Naruto's ferociously. Behind their fury, Naruto could see the raw pain of an angry orphan. "How do you know _anything?_ You have your family. You have your life. You're _not_ alone—everyone loves you."

"Everyone loves you, too," Naruto breathed. "And I'm adopted. My parents died when I was young. I never got the chance to meet them. I've always wondered what my life would be like if they were alive… if I'd actually be happy."

Sasuke's eyes were still violent. "They're still your parents. They raised you—you weren't alone growing up."

There was a pause before Naruto whispered, "For as much as they cared, I might as well've been alone. They stopped caring about me after a while." Especially Mizuki… had he even cared about Naruto at all from the beginning?

Sasuke wasn't impressed. "Everyone feels that way about their parents. It's a love-hate relationship most of the time."

"No," the blond said slowly. "They hated me. They hate me now. Mizuki—my, uh, dad, I guess, well he… I think he's trying to find a way to get rid of me." For some reason, Naruto just couldn't bring himself to confide in anyone how bad the hate was between him and Mizuki—about how Mizuki beat on him.

Sasuke was silent and he looked down at what was left of his tea. He took a tentative sip—with that feminine grace of his—and allowed for the blond to talk.

And, like an equivalent exchange, Naruto found himself briefly telling Sasuke about himself—from the orphanages to the Touji family to his expulsions.

Sasuke had to snort at that. "Trust _you_ to get expelled in kindergarten," he commented when Naruto had finished, shoving his shoulder into the blond's back almost playfully. Somewhere along the way, they had gravitated toward each other and Naruto was currently reclined so that Sasuke's left side was his support with his legs sprawled across the cushions. Sasuke was still sitting in the corner of the couch staring down at his cup—now empty—but he had calmed down long before and he was fully relaxed against Naruto. The blond's voice had acted almost like a lullaby and they were both sedated by it, extremely open with each other as they teetered on the edge of sleep.

Naruto chuckled. "That was nothing compared to that last time I got expelled. I _really_ snapped last time and did some damage."

"What happened?" Sasuke inquired.

Naruto yawned and glanced at how late it had gotten. He was slightly surprised when he saw it was nearing midnight. "I'm tired, bastard," he mumbled, turning so he could snuggle with Sasuke's arm and yawned again.

The raven frowned and tried to pull the appendage from Naruto to no avail. Naruto grumbled and glared half-heartedly at Sasuke. "Will you knock it off?" the blond mumbled. He then snuggled with the arm again, content.

It takes seven minutes for someone to fully take the dive to sleep, but when Sasuke nudged Naruto a few moments later (mumbling about how he had to get home and would you let go of me _please_), that theory was tested. Naruto was out cold and beyond the point of no return. Disgusted at the turn of events (or convinced he was), Sasuke rearranged the small pillow that accustomed the couch for decorative purposes and did his best to make it that both he and Naruto could lie comfortably.

And then he knew no more.

* * *

_He had no qualms with Hinata Hyuuga. Really, he didn't. But when _anyone_ followed him around day after day after day and didn't say anything (unless stuttered syllables counted, which they didn't in Naruto's perspective), he was bound to grow exasperated. He'd only been attending classes at his new school for four days and in just those few days, his patience was already done in._

"_Hinata-chan," he began, unsure as to what he was going to say._

_Said girl froze, her eyes widening, a pretty pink flush painting her cheeks. "Y- y- y- yuh- yes, Nuh- Nuh- Nuh- Nuh- Nuh- Nuh- Naruto-kun?"_

_Naruto hesitated. "Well… er… isn't there something you need to do before school starts? I don't want to be the cause of you failing or anything…" Not quite what he wanted to say—"STOP FOLLOWING ME, WOULD YA?!"—but close enough. _

_Hinata's blush darkened—_'She's so weird… Does she have a fever or something?'_ Naruto couldn't help but think when he noticed—and she twiddled her fingers. "Nuh- Nuh- Naruto-kun is so nice to me. Buh- But Nuh- Nuh- Nuh- Naruto-kun doesn't have to worry about me. I always have everything I need…"_

_Naruto stared at her for a moment, so completely confused as to why she was smiling so much. The girl sure was adorable, that was for sure. And he told her so. "You're cute, Hinata."_

_The poor girl momentarily stopped breathing, her thoughts a messed jumble. "Oh- Oh- Oh, nuh- nuh- nuh- nuh- no. Nuh- nuh- not ah- ah- ah—weh- well, ih- ih- if yuh- you…" She blinked in embarrassment at her hands before whispering, "Really?" _

_It was even more adorable that her voice trembled uncertainly as she asked. Naruto smiled and flicked her forehead playfully. "Yeah, really." At her hesitant, pleased smile, he continued, "You don't get a lot of compliments, do you?"_

_Hinata looked down at the ground, her burning ears reddening even more. Her short hair fell to cover her eyes, making it that all Naruto could see was her flushed skin. Rather than verbally reply—afraid she'd make a fool of herself again as she tripped over her words—Hinata shook her head._

_Naruto cocked his head curiously. "Why not, Hinata-chan? You're pretty, cute, smart… I'm sure your parents at least praise you often for your good grades—?"_

"_Why would she receive praise for something that's just a natural part of the routine??" a new voice inquired fiercely. _

_Hinata let out a quiet whimper—so hushed that it stayed in the back of her throat and Naruto didn't hear it—and shriveled in on herself. Naruto looked over curiously to see who had spoken. The voice wasn't familiar… Although, then again, not a lot of voices were familiar since he was new._

"_Neji-kun…" Hinata breathed, peeking up through her fringe at him. _

_The boy—Neji—frowned at her. "I don't think you should be addressing me so familiarly anymore," he said. Said. He didn't snap, he didn't murmur, he didn't inform her. He _said_ it._

_And that seemed to hurt Hinata most of all._

_She nodded slowly, hiding behind her short locks of hair desperately. She wanted nothing more than to disappear at that moment. "Sorry," she mumbled._

_Naruto frowned at this 'Neji' person. "Oi, what's your problem?"_

_Neji's white—Naruto had to squint to make sure of it, but yes, Neji's _white_—eyes locked in on the blond and he sneered. "You're the transfer?" His tone was distasteful._

_Naruto scowled back. "Yeah, I am. What of it?"_

_The boy didn't reply for a while, instead his pale eyes were scrutinizing Naruto, taking in every feature and angle. Finally, he spoke: "I'm not quite sure how you managed to beat those kids in a fight. You're scrawny and awkwardly built."_

_If Naruto had been a cat, he would have been hissing, tail straight up in the air, fur on end. "What the hell do you _mean—_?!"_

"_Furthermore," Neji continued, finally making eye contact, "you're more of a delinquent than a student. Why aren't you in a more appropriate school? Believe it or not, our high school has a pretty good reputation and all you're going to do is sully it."_

"_Listen here, bastard. I don't know _who_ you think you are—waltzing up to me and just randomly insulting not only me, but Hinata-chan as well—"_

"_Oh, but of course," Neji cut the blond off (much the latter's frustration). "I'm Hyuuga Neji. And I have every right to 'insult'—as you put it—because I speak the truth. If all you're going to do is cause everyone trouble, then why don't you just leave now. It's not like you'll be able to control yourself when the time comes around. And as for _her_—" Neji's eyes settled on Hinata. He almost seemed to look down his nose at her. Hinata just kept looking at the ground. "—I have every right to say just about anything I want. She's shamed our family too many times for me to keep patient. Hoping she'll get better with time is pointless. She's a failure." Neji started off, but not before calling back over his shoulder, "It's actually appropriate that she associate herself with a monster like you."_

_Naruto whirled, intent on stomping after the asshole, but Hinata spoke up in a hushed voice. "It's okay, Nuh- Nuh- Naruto-kun. Neji-kun's always been…" She drifted off, looking to the side._

_Naruto growled. "He has no right to say things like that, Hinata! He's an asshole, that's what his is. Don't listen to a word of what he says—you are _not_ a failure just like I'm not a monster." His eyes were intense as he gently grabbed Hinata's chin and forced her to look him in the eye. "Understand?"_

_She flushed again—confusing Naruto once more—and tentatively nodded. _

_Maybe that was when a friendship bloomed between them…_

_In any case, that was when Hinata knew for sure she was doomed to fall in love with the blond-haired hothead._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_So Naruto was starting to wonder if Neji thought he was a prophet of some sort._

"—_need to leave before you sully this school and everyone in it with your cursed presence—"_

_Like, seriously. Where did the boy even _get_ half the crap he spewed? _

"—_just an abomination to everything around her. Our family is—" _

_So far, Naruto had come up with two theories as to where Neji got all the crap he lectured._

_Theory number one._

"—_disowned. There's no excuse for—"_

_Neji had a _lot _of free time on his hands at night when he had finished his homework and everything else on his agenda that he talked so highly of. As such, he needed a past time of a sort. And since he didn't have friends (yes, in Naruto's mind, an asshole who treated his family like a deity didn't even waste his time on those things normal people called 'friends'), Neji decided to just sit down and write down his sermons. He made sure to find a dictionary and a thesaurus to use huge words that no one had ever even heard of and put them in his sentences. It didn't matter if it made sense or not in the sentence, because if someone didn't know what the word meant, it wouldn't matter anyway. Naruto couldn't even count the times he had heard the word 'floccinaucinihilipilification.' (2)_

_It was a good thing he wasn't a h__ippopotomonstrosesquipedalian_. (3) ('Oh, buuuuuuurn, Neji! I can use big words, too!'_ Naruto cackled evilly.)_

_And then there was theory number two._

"—_but I suppose you two don't even realize anything of the sort, do—"_

_Neji was secretly insane. (Insert immature, maniacal cackling from Naruto's inner child at that point.) At night time, messengers from his subconscious came to him in a dream (think Neji-angels!) and told him of the wicked ways of the world. As they preached to the brunet, he took diligent notes, very serious in being schooled by himself. He was a genius, and it was his job to purify the world of its garbage. He was just one of the millions of workers undergoing such a large task…_

"—_would be better off without a _failure_—"_

_Hinata shifted uncomfortably next to Naruto, tearing him away from his musings. Upon seeing that the older Hyuuga was still going at it, he rolled his eyes. "Give me a break, asshole. You say the same thing every single day. I don't even pay attention anymore, to be honest." He made a shooing motion. "Now please, step aside and let me get to class. I refuse to be late because of you."_

_Neji gave a "che." Even though he didn't know it at that moment, the same noise from a certain raven-haired Uchiha would bring an eerie sense of déjà vu to the blond. _

_Naruto found himself sticking out his tongue and making faces at the asshole as he retreated into the school._

_As they followed suit, Hinata brushed a few locks of her lengthening hair from her eyes. The gesture caught the attention of Naruto. "Oh, your hair's getting long," he commented._

_Hinata tucked a lock of it behind her ear and nodded shyly. "Yes, I- I'll need to cut it soon…"_

_Naruto mulled that over for a few seconds before replying, "Did you ever think of letting it grow out? I mean, it's been short for most of your life, right? You should let it grow a little. I'm sure that it'll look nice on you."_

_The dark-haired girl ducked her head and almost seemed to hide from Naruto's crystalline blue eyes. "Uh- I, um… um… I… it… d—um… It would look… nice, Nuh- Naruto… kun?"_

_Hinata's stuttering problem, Naruto had found, was usually a come-and-go thing. Before, when he had first started talking to the girl a few weeks ago, she hadn't been able to string three words together. Lately, she was getting extremely better at it, it seemed. She fumbled over her words every time he gave her a compliment, however. He wasn't sure if he was amused or saddened by the thought. She really had received close to no praise growing up…_

_Sadness swirled around his stomach, clenching, as he smiled brilliantly at her. "Yah! It looks so pretty Hinata—you should let it grow _really _long! It would look so good on you."_

_The girl's pearly white cheeks darkened to a lovely pink. "I… don't…" Her bottom lip trembled for a second before she gave up what she was originally going to say in favor of: "Real- Really, N- Naruto-kun?"_

_Naruto shook her head at her naivety and leaned forward to plant a quick kiss on her forehead. "Yeah, I really mean it. Now, c'mon. We're going to be late." He trotted past her._

_Hinata, red-faced with her fingers hovering over the burning skin that Naruto's lips had touch, knew she was doomed for doing so, but couldn't help it. She had fallen for him and spiraled down deeper every moment._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_Naruto—huge surprise—feared that he was going to be late to school. Again. He left a cloud of dust in his wake that had many passerby stopping to cough at wave their hands in the air in a futile attempt to clear it. Not so surprisingly, he was going to fast and paying so little attention to his surroundings that he ran face-first into something. _

_He ricocheted off and landed with a thump on his rear, an ungraceful "oomph!" spurting out of his mouth involuntarily. A snarl forming on his lips, he snapped his gaze up to give a piece of his mind to whoever or whatever dared to get in his way—_

"_Hunh?"_

—_but almost instantly deflated when he saw that he had run into not one thing, but a _cluster_ of things. People to be more precise. A huge crowd had gathered together, thoroughly fascinated with something. _

_A low chant pulsed all around him from nowhere and everywhere. "Fight… fight… fight… fight…"_

_Curious, nosey, Naruto started edging toward the heart of the crowd where he guessed the main attraction was playing out. He ducked, shoved, and crawled his way through. It was long before he started hearing the sound of skin on skin, slapping noises almost, and the gentle grunting of a female. Between the legs of the crowd, he was able to see that there were two people in the center, doing just as the mob begged for them to do._

"_Fight… fight… fight…"_

_The right figure—duck, lunge, swirl, block, dive, kick, roll, crawl._

_The left figure—lunge, duck, block, dive, roll, crawl, dive, swirl._

_A flash of blue._

_A flare of silver._

_Hinata._

_Neji._

_Fighting._

"_Oh, shit," Naruto breathed, wriggling harder to get to the other side of the mob—to where Hinata was taking a beating._

_She twirled in the air as Neji sent her flying. She hit the ground on her back and bounced before skidding an inch and stopping. Down but not out, she immediately rolled and leapt to her feet again. Neji lunged at her again, left hand held out to strike. Hinata leaned back and Neji's finger tips whispered against her forehead, her hair flying back and swaying with the after effect wind currents. _

_Naruto, torn, wasn't sure if he was supposed to call her back, acting on his fear of her getting seriously hurt, or cheer her on, fueled by his excitement of her standing up to her bullying cousin. Finally, an applaud ripped from his throat, "Go, Hinata! You can do it!"_

_Hinata, surprised by the sudden outburst, stopped her defensive dance and whirled to look over to where he stood. _

"_Shit, Hinata—"_

_But it was too late._

_Neji, ever the oppurtunitist, took full advantage of her hesitation and lunged, attacking Hinata all-out. At first he kept his aim on her face, making quick whipping gestures with his hands that sliced into her skin. Her whole body jerked with each blow, followed by a small mist of blood. When he was sure that she was too stunned to react quickly enough, Neji took a quick pace back and directed his attention at her torso._

_Naruto's ecstatic face fell when Hinata's eyes closed and her legs gave out._

_He saw red when her body landed with a hollow _thump_._

"_You cannot change your destiny. It was predetermined," Neji gently—almost with the patience that one would use when addressing a wayward child—told the fallen form of Hinata. "Fighting it and fighting me was one of the most pathetic—"_

"_She's unconscious," a deep rumble snarled. "Talking to her when she's down is merely foolish on your part—you look quite stupid."_

_Neji looked over to where the voice came from. Red eyes blazed back at him._

_He learned the real definition of destiny then._

_

* * *

_

It was dark. Very dark.

Smacking his mouth gently to moisten his dry mouth, he rolled over, looking for something and not knowing what it was exactly he craved. Then his hand met warmth and he discovered what it was.

Too sleep-deprived to really take responsibility for his actions, he made himself comfortable again.

He fell asleep again, this time in his companion's warm arms. It had been a long time since he had felt such warmth of any sort.

* * *

(1) _The Memory Keeper's Daughter_ is a book that I was reading when I wrote that section of the chapter, oh, say, _a year ago._ It's a book that I can easily see Iruka enjoying. So it's a real book, I don't own it. All rights are disclaimed.

(2) _F__loccinaucinihilipilification_ is a pointlessly long word which, summed up, basically means "abomination." Broken down—"_flocci"_ or a _wisp_ of something. _"Nauci"_ or _trifle_. _"Nihili"_ from _"nihil"_ which means _nothing._ _"Pili"_ or something _insignificant_. Put that all together and you have a redundant sequence of words that has a bad denotation—_abomination._

(3) _Hippopotomon strosesquipedalian _is also a pointlessly long word which, also summed up, means _one who fears long words_. Which is ironic, because the word itself is quite a monster, ne? xD (It is also one word, but FF-dot-net deletes it from the chapter when it doesn't have the space... weird much?)

**Woooooooooow. I am SO sorry. I know, I know, it's been over a year. There are actually good excuses as to why. Simple ones, too. One—my life fell apart. Two—I was almost homeless. Three—school kicks my ass now. Four—I had semi-writer's block.**

**Have at it. In any case, I'm back-ish now. I'm going to try and work on this over summer. And I also have another story idea. (SasNar, of course.) I think I'll be posting it soonish, too.**


	6. The Morning After

**Disclaimer: **Let's have a change of pace—Sasuke, you do the disclaimer!  
SASUKE: -with a pained sigh- Yes, Naruto owns me.  
-blinks- That wasn't quite what I… Wait. What happened to Masashi-sama?  
SASUKE: He has been dealt with accordingly.  
… Um…

**Pairings:** SasNar (we're getting there!)

**Warnings:** _Mature language_, and _yaoi_ later on; gentle _smut_ in this chapter (don't ask me how smut can be gentle, though…)

**Chapter 6:** The Morning After

The bright rays of the sun slipped through the blinds of the window, piercing the air with their brilliance. The rays' luminance highlighted gold with such a dazzling intensity that any onlookers would have shaded their eyes.

When Sasuke's eyes fluttered to life, the first thing he saw was said dazzling gold. Immediately he closed his eyes, disgruntled. When he opened them again he saw dark spots clotting his vision. He almost groaned as he tried to roll over. He found himself unable to do so, however, by a dead weight that was planted on his stomach and midsection. Looking down, he noticed a certain unconscious blond lying serenely on him, looking more than comfortable. Even worse, the brilliant gold was his damn _hair,_ reflecting the sun.

Immediately, Sasuke roughly shoved Naruto off as casually as one swats at a fly and sat up to stretch his back.

Naruto, awakening upon impact with the hard floor, looked around, dazed. "Sasuke-teme," he greeted roughly, rubbing his eyes blearily and yawning widely. "What'ch'ya doin'?"

"I apparently slept here," Sasuke responded coolly, not pleased. The ooey-gooey happiness from the night before was completely sapped from him, and in its place was a vicious anger. How could he have left his guard down and blabbed off about so much? Mentally kicking himself, he straightened his clothes, fingered his hair down, and headed for the door.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Naruto called, confused. "Where are you going?"

"Leaving," Sasuke replied tersely, slipping on his shoes and grabbing his bag.

Naruto grumbled to himself and stood. He went to the door and reached to open it for Sasuke, who had finished tying off his laces. However, Sasuke had also been going for the door handle and their hands collided momentarily, Naruto's hand being pushed into the door and Sasuke's on top.

Something warm flared up, shooting up his arm, slamming into his shoulders and flooding down his back—

Sasuke snatched his hand away, giving Naruto a cold and scathing look. Naruto, in turn, opened the door and kept his gaze on the floor for a second longer than he needed to. He then regained his composure. "You don't need to be an ass, ya know," he reminded.

Sasuke didn't reply and started off.

"And you could at _least _say good morning!" he shouted after the retreating figure.

Silence was the audience to his yelling. Growling in frustration, Naruto turned and stormed to his room, putting on some clean clothes. He was too hasty, though, and bumped his face several times, causing him to wince. His bruises and scrapes weren't nearly as bad as they had been, almost completely healed, in fact, but they were still a little tender.

Truth be told, Naruto was more than a little surprised that Mizuki hadn't come home late during the night, crashing in (possibly drunk), causing a commotion and demanding Sasuke leave and then take some more anger out on the blond. In any case, Naruto was more than happy at the fact that he was home alone.

So happy, in fact, he pretty much skipped to school, much to Gaara's chagrin.

* * *

Naruto's brows were furrowed together.

"—the reciprocal of the tangent to the _n_th degree squared negatively by _i_—"

Ibiki-sensei kept talking, but his vocabulary left Naruto spell-bound.

"And there you have it," Ibiki finished, stepping back so the class could get a good look at the problem overall. "It looks tricky, but really it's—"

"Sensei?" Naruto interrupted.

"Yes?"

"What's a reciprocal?"

"… Excuse me?"

"Reciprocal. Sounds fun. I want one."

Ibiki rattled off a simple definition, eyeing Naruto up all the while.

"Oh," was the simple response.

Ibiki grunted and turned to face the white board again. "Anyway, you can also do this with—"

"Sensei?" Naruto interrupted again.

"Yes, Uzumaki?" the teacher responded again.

"What's a… 'enth' degree?"

Ibiki blinked. "I beg your pardon?"

"The 'enth' degree thingy. Do I count out my alphabet and see what number _n_ is? Cuz that would be annoying, ya know."

Once more eyeing the boy up, Ibiki rattled off a simple explanation.

"Oh," Naruto's simple response was again.

"Anyway," Ibiki continued. "This can also be graphed on your calculator. If you would please take them out now—"

"Sensei?" Naruto interrupted once more.

"Yes, Uzumaki?" the teacher responded once more.

"Why is _sin_ mentioned in our text? I mean, I know math is the root of evil and all, but…"

Ibiki was confused at first. "You're talking about sine, correct?

"Maybe?"

"… It's the abbreviation for sine, Naruto," Ibiki explained.

"Oh," was the response once more.

Ibiki watched Naruto, waiting for more questions. The boy seemed placate enough, so Ibiki turned to pick up his marker once more. He had barely grasped it and uncapped it when—

"Sensei?"

"I suppose you're going to want to know what the number _i_ means now?" Ibiki questioned, exasperated.

"That, too." Naruto agreed. "But also. In the homework, this _e_ negative one and _f_ negative one thing kept showing up, as well as these weird symbols, like circley symbols and stuff"—he made his point by drawing exaggerated circles with his finger—"are those numbers, too?"

"I do believe," Ibiki responded, "that you're talking about sine, cosine, and tangent. And I have _no_ idea why you're even in this class if you don't know what they are."

"Oh, okay. Sign, co-sign, and tangerine." Naruto systematically wrote that in his notebook as he repeated them.

"Tangent," Ibiki corrected. He looked ready to cry.

"Right, that. Thanks. I'm done now. You can go back to the half-circle now."

"That's—" But before he allowed the boy to give him a heart attack, he nodded, still looking heartbroken. "As I was," he started instead.

Naruto fell asleep before he could hear the rest of the sentence. Despite Kiba's persistent poking, he remained asleep for most of the class.

* * *

It was around the time he entered Iruka-sensei's class that he realized Sasuke was walking around in _touch-me-and-I-will-eat-your-kitten-for-breakfast _mode.

And so, being Naruto, he marched right up to the bastard and told him as much. "Oi, bastard, what the fuck is your problem?"

Sasuke didn't even acknowledge him, deciding instead to flip open his text to the current lesson, skimming it over thoughtfully.

Naruto's eyes narrowed and he crossed his arms huffily. "_Oiiiiiiiiiiii_! You can just ignore me, Sasuke-teme!"

Sasuke did just that.

Vein throbbing in his temple, Naruto planted his hands on Sasuke's desk, leaning down so that he could be more level with the bastard to look him in the eye. "Are you having a hissy fit because you told me something that you don't like talking about last night? Is that it?" the blond growled lowly. Though he was upset with the Uchiha, he kept his tone lower so that no one but Sasuke could hear it.

"I don't see why you would care, dobe."

"Hey!" said dobe shot back defensively. "I thought we were getting along—you know, like actually becoming _friends_—!"

That was what made Sasuke's eyes flash. "I don't want _friends_," he sneered. "Now get away from me."

Naruto stared at Sasuke for a few seconds longer, heated anger and frustration blistering his throat with a thousand retorts. The raven resumed skimming his text and Naruto decided to take his seat, forcefully swallowing the acidic comebacks and taking a deep breath.

He decided Sasuke was merely a PMS-ing woman.

But his mood was brightened when Gaara stepped into the room. It was damper-ed slightly when Gaara stopped at the desk next to him and gave the guy sitting in the seat a look which sent said poor boy scrambling away, whimpering to himself.

"Gaar- _ra_," Naruto chastised, "you can't just waltz around and scare people—you're going to give yourself a bad reputation!"

Already got one, dingle-bat.

"I already have one, dingle-bat."

Naruto wrinkled his nose. "What's a dingle-bat?"

"You."

"Oh." Naruto thought for a second. "Then dingle-bats are good?"

"Whatever helps you sleep at night."

"Hey, Sasuke," Naruto stage-whispered enthusiastically, proud of his new title, "I'm a dingle-bat!"

The raven didn't even glance at him.

"Alright, class!" Iruka-sensei piped suddenly. "I'm going to give you a paper with your next project on it. I'm going to put you in pairs for it. The project is quite simple, really—"

"Iruka-sensei!" Naruto cried suddenly. "Can Gaara-chan be my partner?"

Iruka shook his head. "Unfortunately, I already made the pairs. Listen up now! The pairs are pretty much alphabetical, so I'm sure you'll be able to guess as to who your partner is—"

_Alphabetical,_ Naruto repeated to himself. _Uzumaki… who has a last name close to Uzumaki—?_

"—with Uchiha Sasuke—"

_Well… Sabaku isn't _too_ far away. S and U… those are kinda close to each other, right…? _Narrowing his eyes, he glanced around, filing everyone's last name (at least those he knew), trying to calculate who his partner could possibly be.

Everyone started shuffling toward their assigned partner, some more reluctant than others. Blinking in surprise, Naruto looked around wildly, confused. His confusion turned to heartbreak when he saw a wide-eyed girl sit down near Gaara, trembling so bad the paper in her hand vibrated.

_Then—?_ He continued to look around curiously. No one came near him, and everyone was sitting in pairs.

"Iruka-sensei," Naruto whined, "I don't have a partner and I dun wanna do this alooooooone!"

"Nonsense," the teacher replied merrily. "Uchiha Sasuke is your partner. Didn't you hear me call your name?"

"I wanna do this aloooooooooone!" Naruto wailed, flailing his arms. "Please, Iruka-sensei?"

Iruka shook his head. "Naruto, you need a partner for this project. Uchiha Sasuke has been assigned to you. Work well, you two."

"Hn."

"Noooooooooooooooo!" Naruto's forehead met the wood of his desk.

* * *

It wasn't until Naruto left the school building after detention, crawled down the steps (completely slack-jawed and dying inside) that Lady Luck kicked him in the butt again. Not even Genma had been able to phase him as much as Iruka forcing him into a project with Sasuke, and then—

"Uzumaki Naruto." Green eyes crackled. Arms tightly crossed. A foot tapped a beat of agitation.

Naruto merely sighed and looked at the girl who stood at the foot of the stairs, waiting for him. "Yeah, yeah, what now?"

"As president of SUFA, I must convey the feelings of the club to you. First of all, you have been charged with a crime against humanity to the first degree—"

Naruto blinked. "I what now with who?"

The girl sighed, tossing a pink lock over her shoulder. "Simply put, dingle-bat—"

Naruto instantly brightened at his 'title.' "You think I'm cool, too?"

"—you've been charged with purposely putting Uchiha Sasuke-kun into a predicament which led to penal repercussions. In this case, detention. SUFA will not stand by and allow you to do such things—"

"Uh, lady? I don't know what you're talking about I _really_ need to get home."

"In terms an idiot could understand, you're the reason why Sasuke-kun got a detention." Her green eyes narrowed accusingly.

"Unh-hunh. What about it?"

"This is the first detention Sasuke-kun has ever received and it's because of the likes of _you_ that he was forced to go through such a humiliating traumatization!"

" 'Traumatization' isn't a word," Naruto responded simply, parroting what his homeroom teacher had informed him on his first day. "Believe me, I've tried using it before. What's your name, anyway?"

The girl bristled. "_Not _that it's any of your business, but my name is Haruno Sakura—"

"Oh!" Naruto's eyes brightened. "I remember you. You're that weird Sasuke-teme fan! You and Miss Blondie are at least, right?"

"SUFA is an organized club. We're close to a break-through with the school. They're going to let SUFA become an official club of the school, complete with funding!" Sakura's chest puffed up proudly at the declaration.

"Uh… what do you need money for, anyway?"

Sakura started ranting so fast Naruto couldn't catch her words.

"Naruto."

Sakura cut herself off abruptly, freezing in her dramatic posture. The addressed blond turned to face Gaara, who apparently had waited around for him to finish with his detention. "Oh, hey," he greeted. "I was wondering where you were. I thought you ditched me for a moment."

The redhead didn't responded, instead focusing on Sakura. "Is she being a problem?"

Sakura took a wary step back, eyes still wide. "Like I said, Uzumaki Naruto," Sakura started to conclude, planning on bolting as soon as possible.

"Cut her a break, Gaara-chan. I offended her holy Master Got-A-Stick-Up-His-Ass. Plus, I think Sakura-chan's kinda cute!" He smiled adorably at her, eyes closing with mirth.

"—charged with crimes against humanity to the first degree and this is your—I'm _what_?" She gawked at the blond, unable to comprehend.

"Cute!" Naruto repeated happily enough.

At first, she didn't know how to respond. Any proper woman would feel flattered and turn down the admirer gently—

"How _dare_ you say such things to me after what you did to Sasuke-kun! As I was saying, this is your _one and only _warning. Next time you will be punished! Remember that!"

—but Sakura wasn't always a proper lady. As she stormed off, more peeved than before, Naruto turned to Gaara.

"I have no luck with girls," he sighed to his redheaded friend.

* * *

When Naruto got home and there was still no sign of Mizuki, he mentally cheered. However, the sun slipped behind the horizon and hours went by and still, there was no sign of Mizuki. Confused but not complaining, Naruto continued with his daily activities (goofing off and planning out some shit-tastic pranks to pull on people—oh, no, he wasn't thinking of torturing a certain raven-haired bastard, nihihihihihi—er, uh, no, he was too… mature for that. Yeah, mature. That's the word. Mature.) and was about ready to go to sleep when he heard the front door open and someone shuffle across the house.

Suddenly up and awake, Naruto was listening attentively, deciphering where exactly the person—more than likely Mizuki—was heading.

Due to the fact that he was listening so hard, he was more than surprised when his bedroom door exploded open.

Clutching his chest and sitting up in his bed again (he had not _jumped_ under the bed, goddammit, he had lost his balance and fell… somehow mysteriously landing under his bed) he was even more surprised to see Mizuki was genuinely _smiling_ at him.

Naruto eyed him warily. Smiling was never good, no, never good at all.

It was Mizuki who broke the silence. "Tsubaki is pregnant."

Inwardly, Naruto shuddered at the thought of a naked Mizuki getting in on. _Gross._ "Oh?" was his verbal response. "I thought she said that she had a, um—ya know—miscarriage."

"She tried again," the older one snarled. "Are you calling me a liar, you little shit? Cuz I _have_ the damn test with me that the doctor gave us. She's pregnant, god dammit, and she's going to stay at the hospital so she can be monitored. She will not be losing this child."

Naruto nodded, wondering all the while why Mizuki was wasting so much time divulging so much information to him.

His answer soon came:

"And! For the time that you're here, you're going to do everything for her, understand? She can't strain herself or she might lose the child. And if _anything_ happens to either of them, you are dead. Clear?"

"What the hell do you mean—'for the time that I'm here'? Where'm I going?" Naruto crossed his arms.

The next time he blinked, he was on his hands and knees, staring at the floor, his cheek sizzling.

Mizuki shook his hand, his knuckles tingling from the blow. "I said: _are we clear_?"

"Crystal," Naruto spat out, not looking up and not bothering to move.

"You're leaving soon. Thank the stars for _that_."

"Where am I going?"

"I dunno. And I don't care, really. The first place I can find most likely. In any case, prepare to move out."

Naruto didn't respond and he didn't pick himself up until he heard his door shut.

"Fucking bastard," Naruto grumbled to himself. "He's almost on par with Sasuke-teme…"

Though Naruto didn't know, Mizuki had gone downstairs and emptied the refrigerator of its many cans and bottles of beer, guzzling them down merrily, deciding he deserved to celebrate. By the time Naruto was settling into bed a few hours later, Mizuki was passed out, sprawled across the couch with a beer bottle between his legs.

Lady Luck once more kicked Naruto in the butt.

For some reason—some unexplainable reason—Naruto's demented boom box—which was the whole way across the room—suddenly blared into life, playing just as loud and obnoxiously as it had when Sasuke had been over before. Naruto's eyes snapped open and he scrambled to turn it off.

Not more than a few moments later, a furious Mizuki slammed his bedroom door open, snarled, and attacked the younger boy, his blows and verbal strikes more furious than usual from severe intoxication.

* * *

It had all been a ploy. The perfect ploy. There were no feelings attached—there were never feelings attached. It was perhaps one of his more maniacal ideas, but it was genius nonetheless.

But he had let some emotions slip into the mix. No one could accomplish anything with emotions in the way. Things got muddled. Plans got mixed up. The goal got confused.

Taken off guard.

He had been taken off guard.

But with his guard back up and emotions tied up tightly and neatly tucked away, he decided he was back in the game.

* * *

Naruto tried not to limp. In fact, he was so concentrated on _not_ limping that he ran head-on into someone on the way to school.

"Son of a _sea monkey_!" the blond exclaimed, landing harshly on his bottom. When he looked up to verbally batter the person who had dared to step right in front of him, planning on the crash, he was surprised to see a very rotund boy staring down at him, nibbling on some sort of meat that was strung up on a wooden stick.

"I'm Chouji," the round one murmured. "And I was supposed to give you this as a present from a secret admirer. But it was too good to resist."

Naruto blinked. "You were supposed to give that to me?"

Chouji, chomping on the delicacy loudly, nodded.

A thin, golden eyebrow twitched. "You mean_ you_ ate something that _my_ secret admirer wanted _me_ to eat?"

Another nod.

Another twitch.

"What the hell?" Naruto exploded. "You don't eat things that belong to other people! Someone fucking _slaved_ to buy me that with their money and you're _eating_ it like it's nothing! Some poor girl is now crying her heart out because of you!" He paused to sigh and raked his fingers through his hair, posing into what he figured was the dark-and-sexy pose. "Oh, well… it can't be helped that I must break another poor girl… I can't allow her to—"

He was cut off by a sharp jab in the stomach.

"Oof," he grunted, looking down and accepting the stick that was being held out to him. "… What's this?"

"You can keep the stick. I can't eat it," Chouji told him, almost reluctantly swallowing the last delicious bite of his scrumptious breakfast.

Once more the brow went a-twitchin'.

"Now you're giving me just the _stick_?" Naruto exploded.

Chouji nodded.

Insert more twitching.

For a while, all Naruto could manage to say was: "…"

Chouji, perplexed, responded by asking: "…?"

"You ate it," the blond clarified one last time, just in case he had been made temporarily insane and-or deaf—or hard of hearing. Whichever better served the cause.

"Yes, I did," Buddha incarnated answered guiltily. As though it would make everything a little better and the sun shine a little brighter, he tagged on, "It was quite good!" and beamed.

Naruto crossed his arms, still holding the stick in his one hand. "I think I deserve to know the name of my secret admirer after all the pain and suffering I've been forced through."

The Round One shrugged. "Secret admirer means _secret._ Sorry for eating that, though. It was just _too_ good!"

"I will personally kick your ass!" Naruto yelled, pointing a finger to add emphasis on just which ass it was he was going to kick. He didn't want any passerby to get confused and flee home, whimpering like a scared dog with his tail between his legs.

He was too considerate for that.

Chouji was unfazed. "Have fun with that. I did my job. I'm outta here."

"You better run, you coward!" Naruto called after the retreating brunet. "I am a force to fear! Roaaaaaaaaar! Hear me roar? _Rooooooaaaaaaa—_"

"Not surprising you talk to yourself."

Naruto whirled to face his new adversary. "_Teme!_ I will personally kick your ass for sneaking up on me!" He pointed a finger to add emphasis on just which ass it was he was going to kick. He didn't want another passerby to get confused and flee home, whimpering like a scared dog with his tail between his legs.

He was too considerate for that.

Sasuke was just as unfazed as Chouji had been. "What are you talking about?"

"Ahah! You accept the challenge!" Naruto howled.

"I accept the fact that you're nuts. It's time that you start to become comfortable with the idea, too."

A new voice chimed in. "It looks like someone forgot to tie up the dog and he got loose. Someone better catch him before he hurts himself."

Naruto turned to Gaara. "Gaara-chan! I will personally kick your ass for being you!" He pointed a finger to add emphasis on just which as it was he was going to kick. He didn't want an innocent passerby to get confused and flee home, whimpering like a scared dog with his tail between his legs.

He was too considerate for that.

Gaara didn't even acknowledge the blond. "What are you doing, Uchiha?"

The addressed raven allowed his lips to slip into a small smirk. "What does it look like?"

"Gaara-_chan_! Don't just ignore me! Pay attention, dammit! I've threatened the health of your ass! Aren't you going to try—"

"It looks like you're causing trouble."

Sasuke's eyes didn't even flicker. "I'm doing no such thing."

Naruto continued as though someone were listening. "—to do anything to stop me? This _is_ your ass we're talking about and you need that thing, dammit! It's what you sit on; everyone likes to sit!"

An unfazed grunt: "Hn."

A mirroring noise: "Hn."

"Ya know, it's amazing how alike you two are," Naruto commented out of no where, suddenly sitting on his heels right between the two and glancing at both of them.

They didn't acknowledge him once more: Too consumed in a very serious Glare of Doom contest which was never to be disturbed for any reason.

Naruto decided to join in, staring at one and then the other at random intervals.

People passed by. Cars zoomed by, hurrying off to no where and everywhere. Someone bought some sukiyaki at a nearby stand. Another stopped to watch the trio as he licked at a cone of ice cream which he shouldn't have been eating for breakfast. Said boy soon left when his sanity was slain by boredom.

And then, finally:

"Ah hah! You blinked, teme, I win!"

And victorious, Naruto linked his arm with Gaara's and skipped to school, dragging the redhead behind him (who just so happened to be appalled at being seen near such behavior) and leaving the raven behind, not even giving him a second glance.

Once they were in the building and sitting in homeroom, Naruto pulled out his stick and proudly held it up to show off.

"Lookie, Gaara! A secret admirer gave it to me!"

Gaara looked at the prize. "Quite impressive." Not an ounce of sarcasm laced his words.

"Isn't it?" Naruto oozed, almost stroking the large toothpick with a dazed expression. He stroked the smooth texture of the wood—

"Ew, ew, ew, ew, _ewwwwwww_! There's fucking _spit_ all over it!"

Promptly, he ran around the room, desperately hunting down a napkin or tissue of some sort that he could use to dry his precious stick.

Gaara might have sighed if he wasn't used to such behavior.

* * *

So due to the fact that Naruto had _completely _forgotten about being careful on his one leg and had hopped, jumped, and had a party on said poor leg that morning in his pre-school activities, every step he took for the rest of the day shot jolts of lightning-quick pain up his leg.

"I need a tutor."

This little factoid did nothing to keep him from standing tall and proud as he admitted—out loud—that the great and mighty Uzumaki Naruto might just need a little help when it came to certain subjects.

"You just _now_ realize this, Uzumaki?" Ibiki raised an inquisitive brow.

Math was at the top of the list-of-things-that-didn't-come-naturally-to-the-poor-soul. What may or may not have tipped Naruto off that he needed help was when he saw that his math text was in a new language full of circles and lines—things Ibiki-sensei called _tangent, sine, cosine_. (And Naruto called _the circle-y thingy that liked sin and had a tan with a cos._) (1)

"Kinda…" Naruto admitted. "So can I have one? _Please?_" Imploring eyes looked up at the older man.

Ibiki had known long ago when he received homework with explanations on why the function of twelve divided by the square root of thirteen raised to the negative seventh equaled sin (something about the evilness of square roots and exponents, if his mind served correctly) that the boy needed holy intervention.

"Of course, Uzumaki, but seeing how poor you are at math and how weak your basic mathematic knowledge is—"

It was then that Naruto's attention span reached its limit.

"—blah blahblah blah blah. Blah blah blahblah, blah blah, blah blahblah. Blah blah?"

"That works!" Naruto cheered when Ibiki stopped talking and gave him a look that begged for an answer.

Ibiki seemed dubious. "You… _really_ don't mind? Iruka blah blahblahblah blah blah… blah blah?"

"Tooooooooooootally," the blond assured, nodding.

The teacher looked a little surprised at the easy victory, but wasn't going to question his student's decision. "Then it's settled. Please take your seat. Class is going to start soon."

And so, his math grade secured, Naruto skipped over to Kiba (who was busy trying to flirt with some girl) and sat, took out a notebook, and waited, excited to start fresh! He was going to become a math _whiz_! The best there ever was!

Ibiki took his place in front of the class. "Alright, class. Today, we're going to go over blah blah. Blah blah blahblah?"

Naruto fell asleep around that point, drooling on the pages of his fresh new start.

* * *

"So let me get this straight… a secret admirer gave you a _stick_? Does that seem right to you?"

Naruto beamed at Kiba. "You're just _jealous_ that the girls fawn over me instead of you."

The brunet shook his head. "I dunno, man… that seems a little shady. Are you sure it was an admirer? Coulda been a girl trying to make fun of you. Lotsa girls do that. Fuckin' bitches…"

"Well… it wasn't always just a stick, ya know. It had food on it. But someone ate it."

Kiba looked at him like he had grown an extra appendage somewhere on his forehead. He opened his mouth to give a smart reply, but before he was able to, Genma whirled out of nowhere, leaning on Naruto's desk and peering down at the blond.

"Hello, Naru-chan. I must say, you look even more splendid than usual—oh, what's that you have there?" he asked, noticing his adorable boy-toy-student was cradling something.

Naruto looked down at the stick he was still holding and then promptly his eyes widened and he pointed at his teacher with said stick. "Are _you_ my secret admirer?"

Genma blinked. "Am I your what?"

"Secret admirer," his student repeated obediently.

A smirk spread across his face. "Like I said, Naru-chan, no bed warmer is worth my job! Although when you graduate—"

"NO SHAME!" Kiba interrupted abruptly and loudly.

"There's nothing wrong with mutual attraction," Genma defended modestly.

"No shame, no shame, no shame I say!" Kiba reiterated in a chant.

Genma turned his attention back to Naruto and almost pouted. "It looks like the mongrel is ruining our fun. Oh, well. Just remember my offer, yeah?"

Though he wasn't sure, Naruto was sure Genma winked at him before starting class.

Needless to say, he left that class wide-eyed and horrified and nowhere closer to finding out just who his secret admirer was.

* * *

"The project is due in two weeks…"

"Two weeks!" Naruto squawked. "How are we going to get it _done_?"

"That would be fourteen days, dobe," Sasuke explained.

"We're _doomed_," Naruto clarified, hanging his head and shaking it sadly.

"Hn."

There was a pause as Sasuke allowed Naruto to simper and snivel. Then:

"I'll simply come over to your place and we can work on it there today and tomorrow. It's Friday, so—"

And suddenly the shower of self pity came to an abrupt end. "I'd rather we _not_ do it at my place. I wanna see Sasuke-teme's place!"

The Uchiha graced Naruto with a look, all the while saying: "…"

"Well?" the blond goaded.

"No."

All the cheer was immediately sapped away and a long whine in the form of "_Sasuke-temeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!_" was issued.

"No," the Uchiha firmly repeated.

Another whine. "_Temeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee__!_"

Sasuke stiffly tried to put Naruto in his place. "Usuraton—"

Instead of giving in, Naruto's whine only became higher and louder: "_TEMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!_"

"_Fine_. I swear you have the maturity of a gnat," Sasuke growled, not amused in the least.

Naruto brightened once more, squealed "Yay!" and did some weird jig.

Sasuke, reeling in his patience, coolly looked back at the paper Iruka-sensei had given them on their project. The teacher had graciously given them a whole period to plan the project.

"Sit down," the raven quietly ordered monotonously.

Sticking out his tongue, the blond complied and took a seat next to the Uchiha.

It must have been the lighting. As Naruto rambled on and on about how evil stupid teachers were and how big of a meanie-face Iruka-sensei was for handing out such a stupid and annoying project, Sasuke couldn't keep his attention away from that fact that the sun, seeping in from the window which wasn't too far away, highlighted the stupid dobe's hair, giving him an almost ethereal appearance. And when he looked up at Sasuke, emotions (mostly annoyance at afore mentioned teachers) sparked life into beautiful cerulean orbs; the sun danced in them, lighting them up, making him

(_breath-taking_)

look even more like some sort of intangible ethereal creature… The sun reflected off of his eyes, bringing out the different shades of blue of his iris—so many shades of blue, all canvassed together, the many blues blending, blending, swirling; a beautiful chaos of color—

Of course, it was then that he (Naruto) opened his mouth to speak, and his annoying voice grated against the Uchiha's ears, completely destroying the entire illusion—which was just that, an illusion. Naruto was nowhere _near_

(_breath-taking_)

It most definitely must have been the lighting.

* * *

"Like bloody fucking hell."

Naruto blinked in surprise, not expecting—oh, who was he kidding? Of _course_ he was expecting a violent reaction.

"Come on, Gaara-chan," Naruto goaded, rolling his eyes, "it's not that big of a deal. What's he gunna do?"

Behind Naruto's back, Sasuke silently smirked at Gaara.

"No. I don't trust him." The redhead crossed his arms to emphasize the non-trusting.

"I wonder why you don't trust me," Sasuke murmured, obsidian eyes gleaming.

Gaara's emerald-green eyes narrowed in response. "I don't need to state reasons that are already obvious."

And another Glare of Death competition ensued.

Naruto stepped toward Gaara so that there was less than a foot separating them. He crossed his arms to show his disapproval. "Gaara-chan, you can't control my life. If Sasuke-teme does one thing that seems out of the ordinary, I'll tell you and you have my personal permission to send him flying for the stars."

Gaara debated the invitation—it was quite hard to pass up.

Naruto softened a little then. "I'll come over later tonight, kay? We can do that 'hanging out' that I was talking about."

"Fine. But you will tell me everything that happens."

Deciding _not_ to tell the redhead that what he just said sounded like a stereotypical gossiping teenage girl response, he instead said, "Of course, of course. Toots."

"Sweety," Gaara immediately retaliated.

And it was like that the Naruto found himself bidding farewell to his best friend and heading off to the house of his arch-nemesis-maybe-a-friend-but-an-overall-bastard.

* * *

"Sasuke-teme?"

"Hn."

Naruto's brow creased. "Didn't you say that you lived near me?" Without waiting for a response, his head tilted in confusion. "Then where are we going exactly?"

Without an answer, Naruto continued to trek with Sasuke down the sidewalk. He was just about to whine about how it wasn't polite to be ignored and how immature it was—

"_HOLY SHIT!"_

"Hn."

—but everything that he had prepared to say shrunk and withered, blowing away with the wind. They had turned the corner of the square and at the end of the block was a castle. 'Castle,' indeed, summed up what it was. It was the largest house Naruto had _ever_ laid eyes on. From where they were, it looked to have three or four stories, and it stretched over half of the world!

Okay, exaggeration on his part, but it was still fucking _huge_! Naruto's eyes boggled as they took in the huge house.

He was so surprised that he had stopped walking, frozen in place. Sasuke, on the other hand, had continued on, reached the tall iron gates, and was punching in a code. He then pressed his thumb to the pad.

The huge gates creaked open.

Naruto was suddenly right in front of Sasuke, looming over his ominously, eyes still wider than basketballs. "_This is YOUR place?_" he yelled, on the verge of a heart attack.

Sasuke took a finger and swiped his cheek disgustedly, cleaning it off Naruto's flying spittle. "Yes, usuratonkachi. Now please shut up. You're going to shatter the windows. And that would be a feat indeed—they're bullet-proof."

Naruto was more than ready to be inside the castle. "I thought you said you lived _near_ me! This isn't near me!" he whined. Sasuke, of course, ignored him.

Just as they reached the huge doors to the house, they opened… all on their own. (This issued another gasp of wonder from the blue-eyed boy.)

"Yo," a silver-haired man greeted, flipping the page of his book and not even bothering to look up. "I see you've brought a friend home, Sasuke."

"Hn," was the raven's noncommittal response. He then slipped by the older man, who was under Naruto's scrutiny.

The man was wearing a large, jet-black turtleneck that came up and covered the lower half of his face. Over that, he wore a forest-green jacket. Loose dark pants and nondescript shoes completed his outfit.

That wasn't why Naruto was squinting at him like his eye had been stabbed repeatedly, however.

"Do I know you?" the blond asked bluntly. "You look familiar…" He leaned forward, closing the space that separated them and popping the man's personal bubble.

The man took a step back and lifted a hand to keep the blond back, his eyes closing in a nervous smile. "Maa, maa, I think you might recognize me as a teacher."

Naruto blinked. "Teacher?"

A nod. "I'm your history teacher, Naruto."

"No, really," Naruto continued stubbornly, eyes narrowed in thought. "I _recognize _you."

Kakashi blinked his confusion before repeating himself, much more slowly this time: "I'm your history teacher, Naruto."

Naruto _hmmmm_'ed for a few seconds before shaking his head. "No, that's not it… Dammit, I _know_ that I know you from _somewhere—_" He cut himself off, eyes widening and his mouth dropping into an 'o.' "Kakashi-sensei!"

Kakashi almost rolled his eyes. "Yes, Naruto. And hello to you, too."

Sasuke appeared out of no where to give his guardian a peeved look. "We have a project. You're not helping us to get it down by distracting the King of Distractions." With that, he grabbed Naruto's sleeve and tugged him inside.

"Teme," Naruto whined, "I'm thirsty! And hungry! Feed me!"

"You can feed yourself later when you go home," Sasuke snapped, unpleased. "You're here so we can do work."

"But I can't work when I'm hungry!" the other moaned obnoxiously.

Sasuke whirled and pinned the blond with a deadly glare. "If I feed you, you have to _promise_ that you will not do anything else that I consider annoying, obnoxious, bothersome, infuriating, irksome, aggravating, or frustrating for the rest of the night while you're here."

"That's a lot of adverbs." Naruto's eyes were wide again.

"Adjectives," the Uchiha corrected impatiently.

"Adjectives, then. Same thing."

Sasuke didn't say anything, deciding instead to walk away before he was charged with brutal manslaughter to the first degree, to which, of course, he would plea insanity.

Naruto followed Sasuke oblivious of the inner struggle (thinking the Uchiha was heading for the kitchen) and gaped openly at the mansion, gasping and ooh-ing when necessary.

When they reached the (much larger than needed) kitchen, Naruto continued to gape. "You'd have enough food to feed an army for years!" he commented, turning in a full circle to take it all in. His whole house could fit in the one room.

"Che," was Sasuke's only response. "What do you want?"

"_Rameeeeeeen!_"

"We only have instant," Sasuke smartly responded, pulling out a package.

After a small pout, Naruto decided it was good enough and got to work on making it. There was about ten minutes of pots clanging and water spraying before he turned to his host. "Um… how does it work?"

Sasuke, exasperated, took the pot from the boy and filled it with water. He then ripped the instant ramen package open and plopped in the huge mass of noodles, followed by the seasoning.

"Now let it boil," the Uchiha ordered, placing the pot on the stove and messing with the knobs.

"Now what do you have to drink?"

"You really don't waste time getting what you want," the raven muttered darkly. "Look in the fridge and see for yourself. The cups are over there in the cupboard." He gestured toward the mentioned cupboard.

It took Naruto a full ten minutes to look in the fridge, gape and squeal over what was inside, pick a drink, gape and squeal over what it was, go to the cupboard, gape and squeal over the many different _thousands_ of assorted cups and glasses, pick one, gape and squeal over the fact that it was crystal, pour his drink, gape and squeal over how much he could fit in one glass, put the drink back where it belonged, and once more gape and squeal over what was inside the fridge. Of course, afterward, he also took the time to gape and squeal over the room once more.

Sasuke, patience long-since snapped, sighed and gave up trying to tell his oh-so bright guest to check on his scrumptious dinner. Deciding he didn't want ramen to be the cause of his burnt-down house, he got up and stirred the pot.

It was then that Lady Luck kicked him in the butt, all because he decided to help out the idiotic usuratonkachi.

Naruto turned, not paying attention, gulping down his drink, and ran right into Sasuke (as he had, in fact, planned on attending his lovely ramen). The glass jerked out of his grasp and spilled all over Sasuke's lovely shirt before hitting the ground and breaking. Sasuke, who had been holding the handle of the pot, was jerked sideways by the impact. The pot was also jerked and the hot contents was thrust upwards and landed on Sasuke's head, the boiling juice running off his hair and splashing onto the ground and a hurdle of noodles slipping off his head and splattering around his feet.

"Oh, I'm _so_ sorry, teme!" Sasuke heard from far away.

A voice whispered from Sasuke's left shoulder to _kill_ the blond and dump _his_ head in a boiling pot of noodles. A voice from his right shoulder told him to just go take a shower and ignore the whole damn thing.

Without a word, too afraid that if he said anything he would blow-up in a very ungraceful manner, Sasuke left the kitchen and went to take a shower. Naruto continued to splutter apologies, but Sasuke didn't hear them.

Once more, the voice from his left shoulder sneered, "_He'd be even more apologetic if it had been _him_ that his dinner had landed on_."

Sasuke refused to accept the fact that a certain idiot was driving him schizophrenic and decided he was _not_ growing shoulder angels as he trekked up the stairs, his scalp tingling from the hot juice.

* * *

Guilt-ridden and feeling _very_ sorry for his stupidity, Naruto decided to clean the whole mess up all on his own. Unable to think of a better way to clean up the noodles, he used his hands and picked up the slimy things, throwing them in a trash can that took him several minutes to find. (Of course he was close to tears when he realized that he couldn't eat it for sanitation purposes—but that didn't keep him from wishing.)

It was when he had squashed half the noodles (the other half in the trash can) and smeared the ramen's juice all over the marble floor that he decided a mop would work better. Peering out of the kitchen, he looked both ways for Kakashi. Not seeing the weird man, he sighed and decided he would try upstairs.

Controlling himself from standing awestruck in the middle of the hallway, Naruto steeled himself, reminding himself that he was a man on a _mission_!—like a ninja. And so, playing the role of a ninja, he snuck silently down the hallway, humming a ninja-like theme song for himself (despite what any passerby would have said, it most definitely wasn't the _Terminator_ theme song).

Despite any amount of steeling, when Naruto poked the bathroom door and peered inside, he was once more awe-struck at its size. His bedroom could fit inside several times over.

What soon caught his attention, however, was Sasuke, reaching out from within the (gigantic-humungous-ginormous) shower, grabbing a towel, and then stepping out a few seconds later, the afore mentioned towel tied haphazardly around his waist. His hair was damp, and unlike its usual perky appearance, it was now slanted downward from the weight of the water. Wandering rivulets _plip_-ed from the tips of his raven locks and landed lightly on his chest, slipping between the grooves of Sasuke's pale-cream skin, traveling between well-toned muscles. The droplets continued to crawl downward, dancing over his pale, smooth stomach and along his navel, wandering lower and lower, then disappearing behind the fluffy towel, down—

Sasuke turned his back on Naruto, opening a cupboard and rooting around, looking for something, most likely more shampoo or soap. Idly, the boy wondered why he was paying so much attention to Sasuke's newly-exposed back; how creamy the skin looked, so pale and lustrous. He wondered why he was so entranced by how the Uchiha's muscles tensed and flexed, fluttering beneath his gorgeous skin as he continued his search. He wondered how soft the other boy's skin would be if he touched it, if it would put a girl's baby-smooth hands to shame. He wondered over how beautiful Sasuke was naturally—more than any girl he knew, that was for sure. He also wondered if the Uchiha knew of this natural beauty. He then wondered why he couldn't stop wondering over such an asshole…

Wonderment and awe turned to something else—something hotter and more intense when Sasuke finally found what it was that he was looking for and turned back to the shower, undoing the towel that kept him modestly covered, and pulled it off, throwing it on top of the towel rack.

Despite anything Naruto could do to convince himself to _look away, look away now_ and despite the blaring loud alarms that screamed in his mind, brilliant blue eyes remained entranced, and took the opportunity given to further appreciate what was exposed, and, without any premeditation, he found his eyes traveling lower, to Sasuke's creamy-white bottom.

When an intense heat suddenly consumed him, Naruto scrambled backwards, finally managing to tear his eyes away before tainting himself with thoughts of Sasuke's _ass_. Sitting on his bottom and leaning back on his hands, Naruto realized he had forgotten to breathe for his entire voyeur session and he gasped for air, lungs hungrily sucking up as much as possible. His mind clouded and he thought that, with the combined oxygen deprivation and the sudden onslaught of heat, he was going to pass out.

Several moments later, trembling, shaken, and a little scared of himself, he quietly scrambled downstairs to find the mop on his own.

Vivid snapshots of what he had just seen—of how Sasuke looked when Naruto had been _spying_ on him—assailed him the moment he stood up. Naruto tried to shun the images away, and found it one of the hardest things he had ever done. He had done one of the worst things possible—degrading Sasuke in such a way as to spy on him. As Naruto mopped up his ramen, reflecting over what he had done, he couldn't help but feel so incredibly…

… _dirty._

* * *

Sasuke reflected briefly.

He hadn't acted outrageously charitable to anyone.

He hadn't given any large donations to admirable charities.

He hadn't helped any old bugger cross the road.

Hell, he hadn't even gotten around to paying Kakashi the previous week's wage.

In other words, there shouldn't have been any gods smiling down upon him—none. Zip, nada. Sasuke was very confused, then, as to why they had felt the need to make the blond idiot go mute for the night. Well, not completely mute. But Naruto hadn't made any noise unless probed since Sasuke had showered himself clean and gingerly set about checking his abused skin for possible burns, even going so far as to massage ointment over the area (no, there weren't any burns yet, but dammit, it the principle of the matter that counted).

Back to the point. While Sasuke would in no circumstances _complain_, he couldn't help but allow himself to grow suspicious. Maybe it was the work of some sadistic god? Or maybe someone was just smiling down on him?

"Oi, dobe," he growled, flipping open his text.

Naruto jumped out of his skin, eyes widening. Mutely, he turned his attention to Sasuke. For some reason, Naruto wouldn't look him in the eye.

Hm. Weird. Oh, well.

"I _said_," Sasuke ground out, not liking that he had to repeat himself, "did you even paying attention to the assignment?"

Naruto shook his head, also flipping through his text to find the right section. He chewed his lip nervously as he searched.

"Of course you wouldn't have been paying attention. Usuratonkachi." Sasuke sighed. "We need to read this short story, write an opinion on it, and then compare opinions. After that, we need to write a critique."

Normally, Naruto would flip out and lay claim that "the evil bastards of the school all 'gainst me, dammit…" But there wasn't even a peep out of the boy. Strange. So very strange.

"Just read the story," Sasuke instructed. "We can draw up opinions on it when we're done."

And so, it was with dumb foolishness that Sasuke didn't check to make sure that his idiot companion had done as instructed. Instead, he concentrated fully on the task at hand. In fact, it wasn't until he had read the three pages that he decided to check on the idiot's progress—

And, of course, Naruto's book wasn't even on the right page. Rather than take the time to read, he was staring straight ahead, out the window, at the sinking sun.

The immediate reproach died in Sasuke's throat before his lips could even form any of his scathing words. Sitting there, chin propped on his palm, crystalline eyes reflecting the sun's final rays of the day, Naruto seemed deep in thought. Dark eyes absorbed every detail about him—the way the sun's rays not only emphasized the different shades of blue in his eyes, but also highlighted his honey gold hair and made it simply lustrous.

It was the sun. It had to be the sun. Yes, that was it—the light of the sun. Just as before, the sun managed to accentuate his features in such a way that the boy actually appeared almost—almost ethereal. His mysterious silence was also working some sort of magic. That had to be it: Because Sasuke hadn't heard the grating, annoying voice for some time, he was temporarily bewitched by the temporary splendor of the blond. A simple explanation. He, Sasuke, was not being played at his own game. It was all a trick of the light, literally. The idiot wasn't attractive in the least.

_Right,_ Sasuke reassured himself dumbly, unconvincingly.

Naruto didn't even notice the unwarranted attention—he continued to ponder to himself obliviously. Sasuke, however, found a sudden excess of saliva in his mouth and had to swallow.

There was no way the blond idiot knew what he was doing—surely he wouldn't _seduce_ Sasuke—foolish. Never. The Uzumaki brat didn't even know—

"Usuratonkachi," the Uchiha rasped, his voice too forced, his pitch off ever-so-slight—did he sound strained, even?

Naruto, apparently, didn't hear him.

Sasuke wasn't sure if he was relieved that his companion hadn't heard the turmoil in his voice. Steadying his tone, he tried again: "Dobe."

A brick wall would be more likely to answer.

Growing annoyed, Sasuke reached out to grab the boy and give him a good shake. As soon as his fingers grabbed a shoulder, however, Naruto immediately snapped back into reality and acted completely out of reflex. He snatched Sasuke's wrist and whipped around in his seat, jostling Sasuke out of his.

A chain reaction set off. The end result: Both boys on the ground, rolling and wrestling, scrambling to gain control of the situation.

After much cursing and tiring tumbling, Sasuke gained the upper hand and pinned Naruto to the floor, his knees on either side of the blond's hips, hands splayed across the idiot's wrists, pinned down above his head.

Obsidian eyes smoldered—glowered—down. "What the hell, dobe?" the raven hissed. And then, just like that, all his anger disappeared.

Defensive sapphire eyes gleamed up at him, strong emotions playing within their depths. Usually Sasuke could decipher the thoughts that eyes betrayed, but for some reason, there was something hidden within those cerulean orbs that had him baffled. And—dammit all to _hell—_once more, Naruto was illuminated by the light the permeated through the window, looking simply—simply glorious.

He was a full foot closer to Naruto's face before he even realized that he was moving, dipping his neck down gracefully, swooping down to—to what exactly? Sasuke wasn't sure, but he didn't really care, either, at that moment.

Narutos's expression, which had twisted with the force of his forming retort at the outburst, instantly froze when Sasuke started moving. His blood pounded in his veins, pumping fiercely in his wrists, singing beneath Sasuke's palms. His breathing hitched, then stopped completely when he realized what Sasuke was going to do. His eyes widened just a fraction.

And still, Sasuke descended and crashed his lips down upon the blond's. Searching, coaxing, teasing, his lips moved against Naruto's. Heat burned at their lips, causing a fiery explosion within Sasuke. He continued to move against Naruto, and then, confusingly enough, he felt a response. The golden-haired boy replied to the hungry attack with fervor, confused but unyielding. Sasuke gently nibbled on the blond's bottom lip and without hesitation Naruto returned the action and parted his lips so that their tongues could clash.

And then Sasuke shifted, his chest bumping Naruto's—

And Naruto ripped his mouth from Sasuke's and hissed through his teeth.

Sasuke's dark eyes burned into Naruto's as he rumbled, "What's wrong, dobe?"

And then, acting as though they hadn't performed any intimate act, Sasuke casually sat up and pushed up Naruto's shirt. The shirt didn't even make it up to his chest.

Naruto, cheeks pink from what had just transpired and breathing erratic, didn't understand at first why Sasuke was staring at his stomach. Lifting his head to see what was so fascinating—everyone had a belly button, didn't they? or was Sasuke the one exception to the fundamental biological rules (Naruto wouldn't put it past the Uchiha…)?—he hissed again, a sharp intake of breath, when he saw that the tan skin of his stomach was riddled with dark splotches of angry color—mostly black and blue.

Sasuke's eyes met his and he withered. "What happened, dobe?"

"Nothin'!" the blond bit out. His eyes flashed as he shoved his shirt down and sat up.

"Something happened," the raven drawled.

What was that in the raven's voice?

"Not that it's any of your business, but I fell!" Naruto snapped.

Indifference. Sasuke didn't actually care how he had gotten the bruises—and for some reason, Naruto felt pissed at that. Especially after what they had just—

"We have work to do, usuratonkachi," Sasuke reminded him, climbing to his feet.

Naruto grunted and followed the raven's example, taking his earlier vacated seat, resuming his silent contemplations.

Sasuke snarled silently that the gods could go to hell with their sadistic ways as Naruto silently flipped to the correct page. Despite everything, something was different when the idiot didn't talk—he seemed so much less annoying and grating. Hell, earlier he had been so perfect with how the dusk had highlighted his handsome features—so splendid—so—so…

… _beautiful._

* * *

(1) Forgive Naruto's ignorance when it comes to math. It's going to be relevant the entire story that math is cancerous to him. XD?

**Delay was caused by my hectic life. Very sorry. :/ I'll try harder. I'm changing the rating on this to X soon. Don't be surprised—but don't expect immediate SasNar action, either. Right now, it's going to be mostly for the language (bad potty-mouth!Naruto!) and for the extent of the SasNar relationship in later chapters.**

**So. The kissing scene. What did you think? I don't know what I think, personally… Comments on this chapter **_**greatly**_** appreciated. Seriously. It's the only thing that's going to get me inspired enough to write the next chapter. I get wonderful praise from some of you. :) You spoil me (keepituppleeeeease).**

**This chapter isn't extremely edited as I'm almost disgusted with it. But I did look over it. Still, I'm not perfect, so ignore any mistakes that cause eye-bleeding?**

**P.S. Rosa, as a law, is **_not a fan of straight quotation marks_**. Saying such, FF-dot-net's new love of them makes her eye tic.**


	7. Two Ton Paperweight

**Disclaimer: **Yeah, it's mine. I mean, come on, _Dangerrosa? Masashi Kishimoto?_ They sound exactly alike.

**Pairings: **SasNar

**Warnings: **Eventual _yaoi_. Always the _language_. Possible _hand fetish_ (I'm still wondering where it came from, too…)?

Title is kinda random. Had a song stuck in my head.

**Chapter 7: **Two Ton Paperweight

Naruto walked home alone that evening—deciding he didn't want the Uchiha to accompany him for obvious reasons. Just what the _hell_ had happened back there? One moment he and the bastard were rolling around wrestling frenziedly and the next—the next—

Just what the _fuck_ had that been? Where had that all come from? _Why_?

His mind flashed back to Sasuke, hair dripping with a towel wrapped around his waist, retrieving a bottle of shampoo. And then, all of a sudden, he was a nice, bright magenta and desperately shaking his head, seeming to think that he could toss the image out of his mind and never have it haunt him again. But no such thing happened and Naruto _swore_ he could hear the cackles of a sadistic god.

_Alright!_ he cried. _Maybe I liked it—maybe. But also maybe not!_

His treacherous mind replayed the five-point-four second kiss again and a chill rippled down his spine despite the warm weather.

_Alright!_ he cried to himself again. _So it's probably a maybe!_

More images of Sasuke, near naked, in the bathroom.

_Alright!_ was his next cry. _So I it's a maybe._

Another reply of the kiss.

_Okay, okay! I _enjoyed _it! Damn._ Naruto paused to rub his nose anxiously. _Whose side is my overactive imagination on anyway? The damn sadistic god's?_

Naruto sighed, feeling very bummed. Honestly, why the hell had Sasuke kissed him? It wasn't like the blond even insinuated it—it had all been the Uchiha's doing. It hadn't meant anything—right? Right. Naruto snorted. Guys did things like that all the time—kissing and messing around. He had heard about guys practicing kissing techniques on each other all the time. It was normal. It didn't mean anything.

It had felt so—_heated_ though_—_like he was being engulfed in some sort of—

_It didn't mean anything,_ Naruto snarled (a little too) hastily, shutting up his thought process effectively.

Besides. Sasuke was more than probably interested in the fairer sex. It was just downright rare and wrong for a competent, good-looking guy like Sasuke (Naruto groaned at his thought that Sasuke was _good-looking_) to have no interest in girls. It just didn't happen. Right? Right.

Having contented himself that it was simply the raging hormones and curiosity of the stereotypical teenager that had led to their heated kiss, he nodded and unlocked the front door of his house.

And still, Naruto couldn't shake himself of it. Sasuke had spent a lot of time with him lately—and had been lying about a _lot_ of things like where he lived and needing tutoring the day before (the only tutoring he got was on _Naruto's_ history).

It wasn't until he was almost up the stairs that he realized with widened eyes and a quiet snarl the most important thing:

_That was my first kiss!_

* * *

While he didn't necessarily keep a to-do list, there were a few things that Gaara expected himself to do and not do. On the same note, there were a few things that he expected to happen and didn't expect to happen. One such thing that he most definitely didn't expect expect—nor did he volunteer for—was to open his door, thinking his visitor was an innocent person, and have a large, blond, flying mass tackle him.

"Gaara-chaaan!" the mass cried enthusiastically.

Oh, it was Naruto… well, never mind then: previous incident now expected.

"Naruto. Please. Release my neck."

Said large, blond, flying mass released Gaara and chuckled, scratching the back of his head. "Sorry, Gaara-chan. I'm easily excited, ya know?"

Boy, did he _ever_.

"Hn," Gaara hummed in agreement, then moved out of the doorway so Naruto could bounce—no, literally, _bounce—_inside.

"So what've you been up to, Gaara-chan?" the blond enthused, making a bee-line for the living room and flopping on the couch.

Gaara didn't respond right away. Naruto took the time to ruffle through the papers that were lying on the table nearby. Gaara then appeared out of no where with two cups. He extended one toward his guest. Naruto took it absent-mindedly, sipping at the warm liquid and smacking his lips afterward appreciatively.

"Mmm, hot chocolate… sometimes you know me too well." He grinned over at Gaara who had taken a seat next to him.

"That girl was over here and we were working on our English assignment," Gaara informed Naruto, finally answering his question.

"Oh, yeah. The English assignment." Naruto gave a nervous chuckle and promptly stared down into his cup, suddenly fascinated with the thin film of white bubbles that was slowing disappearing from the surface of his drink.

However, no matter how hard he tried to slip past Gaara's notice, he knew Gaara's keen senses would pick up the anxiety that was pouring off of him in waves. And, of course, because those damn gods were sadists who just loved to torture a certain Naruto Uzumaki, he could feel Gaara's gaze probing him, waiting for the story and-or explanation that was due.

Naruto spilled everything, just like the pot eventually does in that blasted game of _Don't Spill the Beans_. (1)

Gaara, for his part, sat completely motionless as Naruto gave a very detailed summary of the events that transpired at the Uchiha's, telling of how he actually _spilled_ the Holy of Holies (ramen), and how Sasuke-teme actually lived in a palace with perverts for body guards/security/butlers/whatever-the-hell-Kakashi-sensei-was. He briefly touched base on how he looked for a mop, skipped the whole Sasuke-plus-shower-plus-nakedness-equals-holy-crap-I-can't-breathe! and told Gaara about the kiss. In full detail.

Gaara seemed to turn a little green at the idea of the Uchiha with a sex drive, but other than that, he seemed relatively calm as Naruto spoke. Seemed—another key word.

As soon as Naruto finished with his summary, Gaara promptly stood up, arms crossed, face unreadable.

"Uh… Gaara, where are you going?" Naruto blinked in confusion.

"I'm going to kill him," Gaara responded simply.

Naruto quickly tackled him. The unexpected (well, nothing is unexpected when Naruto is involved) motion caused Gaara to lose his balance and they both crashed onto the couch again.

"Sit down," Naruto told Gaara. "It's nothing, really. Just… calm down, okay?"

Gaara didn't respond, but he also wasn't leaping for the door anymore, so Naruto resumed to spill his woes.

He sighed. "I mean, Gaara-chan… it's like… I dunno… I didn't _mind_ it. I don't know if I liked it or not, but—where are you going?" he cut himself off to ask as Gaara stood again.

"I'm going to kill him," Gaara once more responded simply.

Naruto grabbed his arm and pulled him back down to the couch. Gaara once more didn't seem like he was going to make any sudden movements, though he was glaring straight ahead rather angrily.

"As I was… I mean, I don't _know_ what to think anymore! He's all nice to me one moment, then he acts like I'm some sort of rubbish that he accidentally stepped in and now has to clean off his shoe. I mean—I just—_rrrg_!" Naruto threw his hands up in the air and sighed. "I don't know _how_ I feel anymore…"

A long pause as each contemplated ideas and thoughts. Then—

"Where are you going?" Naruto peered up at Gaara curiously as the redhead stood abruptly.

"I'm going to kill him."

Naruto then proceeded to (once more) drag Gaara back down to sit next to him.

"Gaara-chan… I'm having issues here and you're not listening!" the blond whined. "I mean, I'm just so confused! What the hell is wrong with me? If I liked that kiss—and no, I'm not saying that I did for sure—does that mean that I _like_ that bastard?" Naruto wrinkled his nose at the thought. "Do I like _Sasuke_?"

This time, Naruto didn't even bother to ask Gaara where he was going when he jumped to his feet. Instead, he grabbed the redhead's sleeve and tugged him down to the couch, wordlessly and still fretting over his problems.

"Gaara," Naruto started, his voice uncharacteristically serious and anxious, "if I were to like Sasuke, would that make me gay?"

* * *

As a law, he protected those he cherished without fail. It was the way he was made to function. It was in his blood. Not only that, but nothing could _stop_ him from doing whatever was necessary to protect his cherished. It was impossible for anyone to stop him; no one dared and no one could.

Ever since he had been little, Naruto had always been by his side, keeping him happy and sane. They had met at a young age and had always been inseparable. As kids, Naruto had always led a life of trouble—from pranks to playground scuffles. Every single time he had helped bail him out of trouble and smooth things over.

In a way, Gaara felt it was his job to take care of Naruto.

Needless to say, when he say Naruto distressed—over that damn Uchiha, nonetheless—he wanted to tear the raven to shreds. (It was going to happen sooner than later, anyway, so why not get it over with sooner and enjoy it—that was Gaara's feelings toward the situation, at least.)

As such, Gaara was disgruntled that it was _Naruto_ who wasn't letting him teach the Uchiha a lesson that he needed to learn a long time ago. Naruto, the one who was being preyed on by the Uchiha, wasn't letting him, Gaara, to destroy the predator—Uchiha Sasuke—and tidy things up.

Worse than that, Naruto actually said—out loud, in words—that he had been kissed by the predator, and wasn't sure if he liked it or not. Not only that, but Naruto wasn't sure if he liked the same boy who drove him crazy. And still, Naruto didn't allow Gaara to destroy him.

If that wasn't a conundrum, then Gaara didn't know what was.

And now, Naruto was growing upset about the possibility of having a homosexual preference. Mentally sighing, Gaara turned to his life-long friend and offered his best advice:

"I could always kill him for you. Then you'd have no one to _be_ gay for."

The blond boy looked at him as though he had suddenly grown a green, tentacle-ridden head; a little add-on to the head he already had. Gaara almost felt offended—see if he ever gave life-changing advice of any sort ever _again!_ Hmph.

"Gaara-chan, if I liked him, I wouldn't want you to hurt him," his friend pointed out.

Oh. Right.

"I would leave you a souvenir by which you could remember him," he also pointed out.

Again with that look. Gaara was almost tempted to quickly check a mirror, just to make sure that there were no strange malformations growing on his face.

"Uh… and, uh, what would this 'souvenir' be, dare I ask?" Naruto looked as though he was afraid of the answer.

"It would be your choice. I would suggest one of his eyes, though. His dark eyes are his most known attribute. If I recall correctly, the girls claim that they cause them to _swoon._"

And another look. Seriously, he was going to have to get a mirror at this rate. He didn't want unknown appendages growing where they didn't belong.

However, after a second, Naruto started to laugh hysterically, gripping his stomach with one hand and rubbing his eyes with the heel of the other as they started to water.

"Gods, Gaara-chan, I forgot how funny you can be sometimes!" the blond chortled.

Funny? Since when was he funny?

Naruto finally stopped laughing and slapped Gaara on the shoulder, smiling wildly. "Your sense of humor kills me sometimes. I almost forgot how funny you are when you're joking."

Joking? Who the hell said he was joking?

Naruto leaned back, still smiling contentedly. "Gods, Gaara, I also almost forgot how it feels to chill with you. It's refreshing."

Gaara grunted his "hn," as expected.

Naruto suddenly turned his head to look at Gaara more directly. "Uh… So, Gaara, I have a favor to ask you."

Gaara remained silent. Naruto took that as an encouragement to continue and did so. "Could you tell me why you hate Sasuke so much? Ya know what, just tell me everything you know about Sasuke while you're at it, yeah?"

Gaara looked at him and Naruto could just tell from the look that Gaara wasn't tickled pink about the idea.

"… Please?" Naruto tacked on, hoping to add effect, because he just _knew _that no one could resist him when he tried to add his touching effects. Except those sadistic gods—who Naruto was surely going to massacre, just wait! One day, when they weren't expecting it, he was gonna—

"I suppose," Gaara sighed, "that it's only fair that I tell you. That way you'll see who much of an imbecile you're being about all of this."

Naruto beamed. "Thanks, man! You're the bestest friend ever—"

"I'm really not in the mood for a hug right now," Gaara clipped, and Naruto froze, smile still in place and arms still outstretched. Then, he slowly sank back to his original seat, allowing his arms to fall to his sides only when Gaara had looked away.

"Anyway," Gaara continued, "after you left, I didn't really have anyone with whom I could talk to or be friends with. It was… _lonely_, for lack of a better word. When I started high school, I met—or maybe 'threw a desk at' is the better way to say it—the Uchiha on accident in our first year."

Naruto could only chuckle nervously at the image.

"I had been aiming for some stupid kid, but the idiot ducked and Uchiha was the one who the desk hit, in a manner of speaking. He used his arm to reflexively block it. He broke the desk." Gaara paused to sigh, as though what he was about to say was the most painful few words ever to be stringed together into one sentence. "For a while, I admired him. His parents were both killed by his brother—"

"It's because they refused to give him his ramen, you know," Naruto interjected fluidly, matter-of-factly, then continued to stare at Gaara expectantly, waiting to see how the story was going to end (with Gaara, Naruto was willing to be that it would end with an explosion and much death—and don't forget the traumatized children who wouldn't be able to sleep properly ever again because of the scary goats and piñatas). (Naruto shuddered at the thought of piñatas—those damn things were just waiting for reinforcements and then—BAM!—they'd exact their revenge for all those years of piñata abuse and stick molestation.)

But that was neither here nor there. Back to the matter at hand.

Gaara could only blink at his friend and say: "…"

Naruto beamed back, also saying: "…!"

Gaara sighed, more disappointed at himself for not expecting such a silly interruption. "Has anyone told you lately that you're a moron?"

"Actually, Gaara, I earned a new title! It's 'dingle bat!' " Cue more beaming. (2)

And cue more "…" on Gaara's part.

After more silence, Gaara decided to get back to the point. "As I was saying, though. His older brother destroyed their clan, though what sodium-saturated noodles had to do with, I couldn't honestly say."

"That's okay, Gaara-chan. Not all of us can reduce to the truth of the psychotic brother's true reasons for going shit-ballistic like I can," Naruto comforted his friend.

"… I think the word you were looking for was 'deduce.' "

A pause.

"No, reduce—when you make informed conclusions from the evidence."

Rather than pursue the topic further, Gaara continued once more. "His entire clan was killed by his brother and he has taken on the responsibility of his family's empire. He's inherited more money then anyone can ever dream of. He grew up completely alone, unwilling to trust anyone. I could see all of that and more in his _eyes_. His eyes were so dark, bleak, and empty. Yet they had so much depth behind them… I thought that maybe we could be friends."

Naruto burst out laughing, but cut himself off sharply when Gaara cast him an annoyed look. "Sorry," he murmured apologetically. "I just got this image of the two of you holding hands and walking toward the sunrise, with sparkles trailing after you and a large wave—"

"Do you want to hear this or not?"

Naruto clamped his mouth shut. "I'll try and keep quiet, Gaara-chan."

Gaara once more continued. "Anyway, I thought we could be friends. However, it didn't take me long at all to see that the Uchiha was very confused and lost in his own world of revenge and hostility. I didn't really care, though. His problem, not mine." Gaara paused, remaining motionless. Naruto was tempted to poke him, just to make sure he hadn't fallen asleep with his eyes closed (a feat that Naruto wouldn't put past Gaara's abilities).

But Gaara continued on his own after several moments. "However, he's not only lost in this world—but _obsessed_, body and soul, with finding and destroying his brother and restoring honor to his family's name. He's not afraid to step on whoever he needs to get to that point, either. He has no sense of moral when it comes to other people. He sees only his needs and desires. He puts nothing first and doesn't want mundane things like 'friendship.' He toys with people's emotions and then shuts them out of his life with a simple flick of his wrist. He does it all the time."

"Okay… but why does that bother you?" Naruto's brow furrowed.

Gaara looked disgusted. "While I'm not one to talk… not really anyway, he has become so obsessed with what he wants that he could probably be considered clinically insane at times. It's beyond the healthy point—I think the fact that _I'm_ commenting on it should emphasis the severity of it. His obsession disgusts me," Gaara said simply. "I have no respect for anyone who functions like he does. I have no respect for him as a person. And I hate him for brainwashing you with his false charm. I don't want him to bring you down with him. Not only that, but he also isn't fond of me. He may be toying with you to get a rise out of me. He likes to play with people's emotions."

Naruto wrinkled his nose. "You analyze things too much. Nothing bad is gonna happen if I become friends with Sasuke."

Gaara looked much like he wanted to disagree with that notion. His gaze flicked over to Naruto to give him a _Well-I-warned-you-and-no-I'm-not-going-to-bring-flowers-to-your-funeral-they're-much-too-expensive-and-you-should-be-glad-that-I-even-show-up_ look.

And yes, one look expressed all of that.

"Fine then, _don't_ give me flowers," Naruto huffed. "I see what type of friend you are."

Gaara then proceeded to look at his friend as though he had lost his mind—which he probably had done long ago, knowing Naruto.

"So that's it?" Naruto asked suddenly. "Are you sure? You can't tell me any other juicy tidbits about him besides that?"

Gaara looked at him blankly. "Like what, might I ask?"

"I dunno… his history?"

"No one really knows much about him. He's a mystery. That's probably part of why he has such a gathering of fan girls that monitor his every move at school."

"Do you have any idea what his brother looks like?"

"Why, yes, I could draw an exact character sketch because I happen to have been there on that fateful night years ago when he went on his killing spree, before he went into permanent hiding."

"…"

"What?"

"If I give you a pencil and paper do you think you could draw him for me?"

Gaara's eyebrow almost twitched. "Why not."

It wasn't a question.

Naruto hastily scrapped together a pen and a sheet of paper, basically throwing them at Gaara and trembling with excitement as his friend picked both up. In a few seconds and with a few pen strokes, Gaara had depicted beautifully what words could not and handed his masterpiece over to Naruto.

Naruto, past eager, snatched the paper away from his friend and scanned its contents with hungry eyes.

He then peered up at Gaara, who was flicking some dirt from under a fingernail.

He looked back down at the drawing.

Back up at Gaara.

And back to the drawing once more.

And back to Gaara again.

"Uh… Gaara?"

Back to the drawing.

A nonchalant "hn?"

"Uh… you do realize that this is an angry stick figure triumphantly holding a knife and standing over a few dead stick figures, don't you?"

Once more, a nonchalant "hn."

"And… are the stick figures _drooling_?" Naruto blinked in confusion.

"Bleeding," Gaara corrected just as nonchalantly, flicking away more annoying dirt.

"Bloody stick figures, then," Naruto amended, and then squinted. "And… is that stick figure in the back with an odd hairdo supposed to be _Sasuke?_"

This time, Gaara's response was, "Crying."

"What?"

"He's crying, if you had actually paid attention."

Naruto paused before leaning closer to the paper, squinting harder than ever. Then: "Oh. Yes, he is. Alright, I'll rephrase then. Do you realize that this is an angry stick figure triumphantly holding a knife and standing over a few dead, supposedly bloody stick figures with a supposedly crying stick-figure Sasuke in the background?"

"I prefer to call it a masterpiece, but if that's what you're going to reduce it to, then yes," Gaara allowed, giving his hands a final once-over. He hated it when dirt was under his nails, he really did. If it were up to him, he would throw all the dirt in the world into a huge concrete case and pave the world. So much less mess. Plus, when people fell, they could actually _crack _their head open when they met the ground.

That was much more exciting than dirt, no?

"Um… Gaara? You do realize that you gave more detail to the blood than you did to Itachi, right?"

"If that's what you choose to observe."

"…"

"…"

"You didn't actually see Itachi, did you?"

Once more, Gaara's eyebrow almost twitched. "Do you _honestly _think that I was there all those years ago when the Uchihas were destroyed?"

Naruto's jaw dropped. "But you said—!"

"I was being facetious," Gaara drawled in monotone.

"So… you _didn't_ see him?"

"That is what I just said, was it not?"

Naruto sighed, rolling his eyes. "Oh, whatever, Toots. I'll forgive you for lying. _This _time."

"But of course, dearest."

"But make a mental note to never do so again, agreed, hon?"

"Anything for you, foxy."

The both looked at each other.

And promptly burst into their own version of hysterical laughter—Gaara, a smirk and a small roll of his vocal chords that might or might not count as a small chuckle; Naruto, persistent hyena-shrieks that served as his _too-funny-holy-shit-my-stomach's-falling-out-from-all-the-laughing!_ laughter.

"Ya know, Gaara-chan, I know that I've said this before, but I really missed hanging with you." Naruto used the heel of his palm to smear the tears that had gathered in the corners of his eyes. It felt great to relax with his childhood friend and play the silly games that they used to when they were younger… despite how immature they were (though what the point was in a game where the participants simply called one another by terms of endearment, he had no idea, but that was a thought for another day).

"Hm. Well, maybe if someone had written me every now and then, there would have been more of a correspondence."

Naruto winced. "Yeah, sorry. I really am, Gaara. Mizuki thought you were a bad influence and told Tsubaki to destroy and letters that you sent me. I also wasn't allowed to call you… um, not that I really knew your number, but that's beside the point!"

Gaara sighed quietly. "How have they been treating you, anyway?"

Naruto gave a one-shoulder shrug. "Okay, I guess. Tsubaki never really bothered me. In fact, she's decent as far as adoption parents run. She's pregnant, you know." He paused to take his own turn at sighing, then continued: "She could have another miscarriage and it's putting Mizuki in a horrible mood." He paused again to blow a scrap of bangs out of his eyes. "He keeps going on about how he's going to kick me out and blah blah blah—his needs."

"You're always welcome here," Gaara offered automatically.

"Of course I am… but living here would make me happy, and we can't have that, now can we?" He gave a bright, sardonic smile.

"I could always just kick his ass."

"I'll tell him to meet you behind school tomorrow, three sharp." Naruto grinned then snorted at his own joke.

And once more, who said Gaara was kidding about that?

"How're you feeling now?" Gaara asked, changing topics suddenly.

The blond waved the though away. "Fine, I swear. It's weird, but I swear I heal faster than jackrabbits screw in the spring. I had real troubles sleeping last night because of it, and this morning my body seemed to be convinced that something was sawing it in half. But as the day progressed, I just forgot about it. And now I don't feel it unless you touch—even the lightest touch… makes… it…" He drifted off and pulled a face, remembering full well the last time something gently touched his bruises.

Why the _fuck_ had that bastard kissed him?

"Is anyone home or should I leave a message?" the redhead asked after a few moments of silence.

"You can leave a message after the tone." A three second pause, then: "I said _fuck, no_, I ain't washin' no dishes! You get off _yo_' fat ass an' wash 'em, bish!"

Gaara simply stared at his friend, unmoved at the pun-thing Naruto had attempted.

"But yeah, no, seriously, Gaara, I'm fine," Naruto said, jumping back to their previous conversation abruptly once he realized he was not going to get a rise out of his friend. "They're usually almost completely healed within a few hours; only hurt if you touch 'em."

"Hn," was the reply he got.

Other than that, they decidedly mostly to continue sitting on the couch and be lazy bums. A friendship couldn't _live_ without those moments in which the participants simply sit on a couch and laze. It's how soul mates are created.

Or so Naruto proclaimed to Gaara, but what did he know? He was just an idiot. And he proudly reported this, as well, to his redhead friend.

Said redhead simply slapped his forehead in the faraway recesses of his imagination.

* * *

So, yes, there was a chance that Naruto and Gaara lost track of time. And why, yes, Naruto scrambled out of Gaara's in the wee hours of the night and scurried home. And of course, yes, Mizuki was there to greet Naruto when he closed the front door, breathing a little shallow from his excursion.

"Where have you been all night?"

And yes, he had not been expecting his guardian to be standing directly across from the door, arms crossed and face twisted with scorn. But, hey, quite honestly since when had life gone as he had expected it to?

"I was at a friend's working on homework," he answered, completely omitting Gaara—there was no need riling Mizuki up any more by mentioning the redhead. Mizuki hated it when Naruto was around him.

"You're lucky Tsubaki is home," Mizuki growled. "She hates it when we argue."

Naruto had no idea what to say in response, so he remained silent.

A slow, cold smirk spread across the older man's lips. "I think I can put up with not arguing with you for a few days. It's not as though you're going to be here for too much longer anyway."

Naruto was more than suspicious. "What do you mean?"

Mizuki shrugged a shoulder. "Who knows? Let's just say that I found a relative of yours."

Cerulean eyes narrowed. "I don't believe you."

Another one-shoulder shrug. "It doesn't matter if you believe me or not, brat. All that

matters is that in the end, you'll no longer be ruining my life."

Naruto snorted. "Right. Whatever you say."

With that, he brushed past his guardian and headed for his room. He was relieved and surprised when he wasn't pursued by an angry, screaming Mizuki—usually if Naruto walked away from him, he went on a rampage.

Rather than question his luck, he changed into looser clothes and dove into bed, rubbing his face against his soft pillow.

* * *

"I warned you."

_It was a complete mess; tangles and snarls and thorns and snags and tears and darkness. He wasn't quite sure where he was. He couldn't see anything around him, just an inky darkness that seemed all-consuming. He was extremely confused as to why he was there and even more confused as to what was happening. He struggled, trying to grab something; trying to get away from the turmoil that was unfurling around him. But for all his struggling, he received no reward. _

_He didn't know how long he stayed there, but he felt as though he kicked and bucked for years, trying to find a way away from everything. _

_Though he hadn't realized it, until that point it had been deafeningly silent. Then, suddenly, an eerie pulsing noise reverberated throughout. And just as suddenly, every nerve in his body came alive—with a scalding fire. Pain surged through every fiber of his being and he tried to scream. His scream echoed back at him, growing louder and louder every time it repeated until he thought his ears would surely bleed. _

_Still, his nerves were liquid fire. Silently and pathetically, he writhed. He was left breathless by it all. The chaos around and within him temporarily convinced him he couldn't breathe and he thought he was going to suffocate. His lungs started to also burn, but in a different way. He gave in and writhed, knowing there would be no end. _

_But suddenly, there was an end._

"I_ warned_ you."

_Suddenly, everything stopped; the noise abruptly screeched to an end; his pain abruptly cut itself off; the chaos around him abruptly disappeared._

_And then, right before him, red eyes glowed ominously. _

"I warned you to stay away from Uchiha Sasuke."

_He heard it and yet he didn't. It was a whisper in the back of his mind. It was a scream in the darkness. It was a song he sang as a child. It took physical form and it was a picture he desired to hold and see. It was his pain, known only to him. It was all of this and it was nothing. _

_And then he was in chaos again and there was pain and he screamed and it echoed and it got louder and he thought his ears were going to bleed and he writhed and he gasped and his mouth formed silent screams and he struggled and he couldn't get away and he writhed and he succumbed and he was broken and his essence was ripped and he was forgotten._

"I warned you."

_But god, how he writhed._

* * *

Air tore into his lungs and he lurched up, breathing pattern well past erratic. He held his fingers in front of his face and wriggled them, watching as they moved on command. He then used his fingers to feel his cheeks. He glanced around the room and soaked it in.

Convinced that he had merely been dreaming, Naruto gave a shaky sigh and lied back down. However, he was almost afraid to go back to sleep. His physical needs overcame his wishes, though, and in the end, he lost consciousness again.

Red eyes watched him balefully.

"_I warned you_._"_

* * *

Saturdays were days to be spent relaxing and living it up and doing anything without annoying bastard-teachers complaining and yelling about it. Basically, it was a free for all in which everyone did whatever the hell they wanted and no one said anything about it; perfect for madness and mayhem and fun.

Naruto planned to participate in all of that.

What he had not been expecting was to nearly trip over something large and blubbery when he raced outside.

He went down with a flurry of curses and climbed to his feet with the same vocabulary, especially after he saw exactly what it was that he tripped over. "What the fuck do you think you're doing? Trying to kill me while you have the chance?"

Cheeks stuffed and fairly clueless as to what was going on, the addressed boy looked up at Naruto and said through a mouthful of something scrumptious, "I was just sitting on the curb. Not my fault if you're so blind as to not see me."

Naruto glared. "Yeah, that's the excuse they all give. Who the hell are you, anyway?"

"I introduced myself to you yesterday," the other boy responded blandly.

Naruto paused to reflect over that. "… I think you're lying."

"I'm Chouji," the boy said.

"Great. What are you doing outside my house? You sure you're not hatching some plots to off me?"

Chouji rummaged through the box on his lap and popped some chocolate into his mouth. He then held the box out for Naruto to have. "No," Chouji finally answered. "This is for you."

Naruto blinked before accepting the box and peered inside. Two lonely pieces of chocolate looked back at him.

"Hey!" he exploded. "You ate my gift yesterday, and now you chow down on today's gift as you please? What gives? You're a horrible messenger!"

Chouji shrugged and stood. "At least you got some of it."

"I think I deserve to know the name of my secret admirer for all the trouble you put me through!" Naruto yelled, displeased.

"You'll figure it out eventually," Chouji reassured him. Then he turned on his heel and started to leave.

Naruto squawked indignantly as Chouji wandered away. "That's all you got for me?" Naruto raged. "You think I'm going to be okay with you just waltzing away like that, huh? Is that what you think?" Despite the fact that Chouji had disappeared around the corner by that point, Naruto kept ranting. "Next time I see you, we'll just see what happens! I'll kick your _ass_ is what'll happen, by the way!"

"Why is it that every time I see you, you're talking to yourself?"

Naruto whirled. "Teme, don't sneak up on me like that!"

Sasuke pointed with a jab of his thumb to the sleek black limousine parked several meters behind them. "I'm here to pick you up."

Before he could think things through, Naruto dove into the limousine and started poking around. "Oh, wow, there's a fucking _mini-fridge_ in here!" he cooed, opening it to check out what was inside. He grabbed a bottle from inside and popped off the cork and took a swig—

"I wouldn't drink that."

—and promptly spewed it out like a water jet, coughing and gasping for breath.

"What the hell is this shit?" Naruto asked Sasuke, who had taken his seat and motioned for the driver—Kakashi—to take off.

"Sake," Sasuke smoothly responded, placing his chin gently on the heel of his palm and turning his attention to something outside the window.

"You actually _drink_ this shit?" Without bothering to attempt to re-cork the bottle, Naruto put it back in the fridge and plopped onto the seat.

"Yes, idiot. It's what I give my company when I'm escorting them."

Naruto wrinkled his nose. "_They_ drink that shit?"

"Many do. You're one of the only people who don't appreciate it, I'm sure." Sasuke's gaze never returned to Naruto. Instead, he continued to be enthralled with the scenery outside, not looking away from the window.

The blond huffed. "Yeah, well, I have _class_. And those of us with class appreciate things like soda. And ramen. The gods sent us ramen to keep us believing in them—proof that they still exist, ya get what I mean?"

Sasuke decided that Naruto's idiotic rants didn't deserve a response—it only encouraged them. But that didn't stop Naruto from prattling on incessantly; oh, no, nothing could ever do that.

"Oi, bastard, you know what I just remembered?"

Better question: did he really care?

"You're supposed to have _fun_ on the weekends. Ya know, that stuff that is illegal in bastardtopia?"

Damn. Maybe he really ought to start verbalizing his thoughts—that seemed to dissuade many people from persisting in striking up conversations with him.

Sasuke almost rolled his eyes. "So work stops completely just because it's the weekend and then promptly resumes at midnight on Monday morning?"

"Well, duuuh! Glad we're on the same page, finally."

Sasuke took this moment to wonder just how he was going to live through an entire afternoon of Naruto and come out with the semblance of his mind and sanity intact.

* * *

The Uchiha clan had very fine health. Not only had they never suffered heart attacks (please refer to the incident known to Sasuke as The Curious Incident of the Boy who Ran in Front of Car in the Middle of Rush Hour and Nearly Became a Speed-bump All for the Sake of Ramen for more information), but they also never worried about possible strokes. Just as with heart attacks, they were caused by things such as high blood pressure (caused by high stress levels), high cholesterol (from exceedingly fatty diets), age, and it was prevalent in smokers. However, the Uchiha was a master at controlling their emotions—stress being on that list. They also had professional chefs prepare exquisite meals that were comprised of many courses, all of them healthy; thus, the walls of the Uchiha manor had never seen a single grease-soaked French fry in the decades that it had existed and it was almost a theory that the paint on the walls would start to peel from disgust if anyone ever _did_ decide to bring a grease ball inside (this is a theory that Sasuke decided not to test, however—he quite enjoyed his walls just as they were, thank you very much!). Not only that, but Uchihas aged with grace, and not a single Uchiha to date had kissed death full on the mouth through the abominations known to the common people as _cigarettes_. Thus, strokes were an ailment unseen within the family.

Indeed, the Uchiha clan had very fine health.

"So what are we doing exactly again? It slipped my mind."

Onyx eyes flicked over to him briefly. "Well, I suppose you can choose."

"… We have more than one thing to do?" Excitement bubbled within him.

And then simultaneously:

"We can continue the project or we can start the tutoring."

"Are the choices a mad rave party or a ramen party?"

Both boys paused to digest what the other said and then, once more simultaneously, responded:

"We are _not_ having a party of any sort within the confines of my house. Remember what happened last time we involved ramen?"

"What the _fuck_? Since when did tutoring become a part of _anything_? Count me out then—I want no part of this."

Another moment for digestion. And then, before more chaotic simultaneous retorts could be born, Sasuke quickly intervened.

"Dobe, listen to me before you respond." When Naruto clamped his mouth shut obediently, Sasuke nearly gave a sigh of relief. "Do you _not_ remember asking Raidou-sensei for a tutor."

"Yeah, but I didn't know that it was going to be _you_! I think you're lying!" Naruto crossed his arms defiantly.

Sasuke paused. "Funny, because I swear I got a call last night from Raidou-sensei himself and I _swear_ that the person he told me to tutor was an Uzumaki Naruto." Another pause, this one dramatic, and then he continued, his tone resembling that of an annoyed mother trying to get a straight story out of her son: "Is there another Uzumaki Naruto I should know of?"

Naruto scuffed his shoe guiltily on the floor. "… No."

Sasuke rubbed one of his temples. "He _also_ said that you specifically agreed to tutoring with me and that you were already aware of this."

Another guilty scoff. "… Sometimes I suffer short-term memory loss."

The Uchiha was starting to develop the first symptoms of a skull-shattering headache. "Apparently. So which is going to be first—math or English?"

A contemplative silence from Naruto and then: "… I choose door number three."

And Sasuke would have been stunned at the comment if it had been said by anyone else. "…"

Naruto was defensive. "What?"

"There is no door number three."

Automatically, his idiotic companion enthused, "Does that mean I get to make up what's behind it then?"

And he started to go through his medicine cabinet mentally, trying to remember if he had any aspirin. "It _means_ that you choose English or math or I choose for you."

Naruto stared at him thoughtfully. "…"

"What?"

"So about that door number three—"

More clenched teeth. "There _is _no door number three!"

"—it's a movie night."

Sasuke's tense silence, as expressed: "…"

And Naruto's hopeful and confused one: "…?"

"Get out of my house. Now."

Naruto gaped, crestfallen. "But movie night—"

Gods, his head was starting to _pulse_. "There is going to be _no_ movie night."

And then Naruto blinked, tilted his head in bewilderment, and sealed his fate by saying, "Sasuke-teme, what are you going on about a movie night for? We have work to get done, dammit! We don't have _time_ for such frivolities."

"…"

"…?"

Well, on the plus side, at least Naruto knew the word 'frivolities.' On the down side, Sasuke _swore_ he felt a vein pulsing on his forehead and—damn his familial health history to _hell_—he could already sense how hectic a day he was going to have. Uzumaki Naruto was the noun 'stress' personified.

Despite any control he may have tried to exert, the words slipped from his mouth before he could censor them. His Uchiha predecessors would have frowned at such a display of immaturity, but even Itachi wouldn't be able to maintain a mask of stoicism if he were to be put in a similar situation.

"… I'm going to kill you." And after saying as such, he rubbed more adamantly at his temples and walked away to find some aspirin that could knock out a herd of horses.

While his amazing lineage shielded him from strokes and heart attacks, no one ever promised immunity from tension headaches brought on by the likes of one Uzumaki Naruto.

* * *

After Sasuke temporarily disappeared only to return moments later, still rubbing at his temples, mumbling to himself about idiotic idiots with their idiotic ideas of idiocy (yes, his vocabulary was breath-taking when he was induced by a combination of pain the starts of the effects of powerful drugs), they finally decided on which of their two choices to get out of the way first. Of course, it was Sasuke who picked. Naruto was as reliable as a prepaid cell phone in the middle of a stranded island.

"We're going to do tutoring first," he announced, then tacked on, almost as an afterthought, "No one can possibly understand how badly you need it."

Ignoring Naruto's indignant squawks at the comment, Sasuke grabbed his math text that he had placed on a nearby table earlier and moved to sit a little closer to Naruto. He flipped open the book to the chapter they were currently going over in class and was just about to ask if Naruto understood _anything_ on the page when—

"Ne, ne, Sasuke-teme? Remember when I tried to tutor you in history?"

—yet more nonsense blabbered out of his companion's mouth.

"No," he curtly answered and was once more just about to ask about the page when—

"What?" Naruto squawked, surprised. "You don't remember?"

—yet again he was interrupted.

"It's more of your brain malfunctions playing with your memories," Sasuke explained, dismissing him and _once more_ opened his mouth to ask about—

"Remember, you came in and we never did get to the tutoring because my electricity went out? And then I got bit by an evil rodent and—" Naruto cut himself off, his neck darkening. "—we had to get flashlight?" he finished, trying not to think about what he was originally going to bring up.

—_you licked my finger._

And then Sasuke suddenly remembered.

Oh. Yeah. That. Well…

"Saaaay," Naruto wondered aloud, his brow crinkling in thought, "why did you ask for me to help you, anyway? You seemed just fine in school…"

Oh, yes, why _did_ he say that, indeedy? That was a _very _good question. Sasuke would have to get back to you at a later date with the answer, though.

"Oh, don't tell me—"

Oh, may the gods have _mercy_ up above in their heavenly domes of heavenly happiness (_brace_ _yourself Sasuke, this is going to be a doozy)_, it was _that tone_ that the idiot was using—he was about to say something that was profoundly—

"—you wanted to get rid of Gaara and hang out with me all alone because you thought he was taking up too much of my attention!"

Well, to return to an earlier thought, scratch profoundly—"profoundly stupid" didn't cover it—and replace it with "an insult to the greater deities because they actually _created_ the brain from which the statement came from" please. Or anything along those lines would do.

Naruto made a waving gesture, one which is very similar to the motion made when trying to shoo away an annoying bug. "Aww, no need to get _jealous_, ya know. I can be best friends with both of you."

… Pffffft. Okay, let's freeze it here for a second. Sasuke had a few thoughts to get off of his mind, and it is unwise to disobey the will of an Uchiha. Bad things happen.

First off, as well as having excellent bloodlines and health, Uchihas didn't openly express emotions. (In fact, emotions in general were discouraged, but that's another lesson for another situation.) As such, the idea of something as childish as "jealousy" was taboo. Expressing "displeasure" in a very appropriate manner was occasionally accepted. The Uchihas also expressed "disappointment" (usually in the Uchiha children) in healthy doses. However, besides that, showing strong emotions was frowned on. As such, Sasuke would never show something as crude as jealousy. In fact, his family was immune to over ninety percent of all emotions, and jealousy was definitely one on that list. Sasuke was quite sure that he had never experienced this "jealousy."

"Hn," he answered Naruto. "Please don't allow such fantasies to fill your imagination."

However, he couldn't help but wonder what he _did_ feel when he was around the boy with mysterious cerulean eyes and sun-golden hair.

"Oh, whatever, bastard. Stay in your own world of denial, then."

"Hn."

Whatever it was, it certainly wasn't _jealousy_, right?

* * *

So that particular day seemed to be a day of epiphanies, realizations, and explanations, for Sasuke realized two more things about his crazy companion as he struggled to get Naruto to focus.

The first thing was that Naruto had the attention span of a dead turtle. No, seriously. A dead turtle. Either that, or he suffered from IDHADHOLR (I Don't Have ADH—Oh Look Ramen). As such, Sasuke knew then that Naruto was probably a test sent to him by the sadistic gods to see just how great the Uchiha Sasuke was at controlling the emotions he claimed to be nonexistent. And what a test it was.

Several times Sasuke had to pause and concentrate on finding his happy place (complete with a stick figure-Sasuke standing over a dead stick figure-Itachi triumphantly) just so he wouldn't snap at his guest.

The second realization was that knowing random facts, apparently, merely had a tendency to piss people off. This was especially so when said random facts were shared at awkward or inappropriate times, or if they were shared with someone who already knew all there was to know (such as himself).

Both of these realizations came within seconds of each other, oddly enough—

"So when can we make some ramen to eat? Teme, I'm _hunnnngry._" Naruto wrinkled his nose to show his lack of appreciation of his empty tummy.

A discreet deep breath as a happy place is found once more. "That's great, but that's a question you just asked. Not the answer to my sentence."

Naruto blew a tuft of hair out of his face. "What _was_ your question?"

More discreet death breaths. More happy places. A barely restrained snarl: _I swear, if you were a character in a book, I'd kill the author for making you so goddamn ADHD._ And then, finally, the question that was still awaiting an answer: "What's tangent?"

"Oh, that's easy. A noun which refers to the change of a topic that is not relevant to the subject which is currently involved in the conversation."

Sasuke's expression didn't flicker. "…"

Naruto quickly grew nervous at the unmoving Uchiha. "… What?"

"You know what a tangent is when used in _that_ context, yet you can't remember how it's used mathematically?"

Naruto shrank a little, not sure what to make of Sasuke's unmoving expression. "Um… well, yes?"

A short, disgusted sigh was the reply that the blond idiot received from him.

And despite that small spout of genius, Sasuke then found that not only did Naruto have the attention span of a dead turtle, but also brain and common sense of one, as well.

And it was only seven hours later that Naruto finally understood the first half of the chapter. Mostly, things were accomplished through threats and menacing glares. That, and at some point Sasuke may have gotten fed up at some point and promised ramen to Naruto after they were done studying, simply to act as a sort of incentive.

Not only that, but in order for Naruto to understand any mathematical concepts, Sasuke had to break it down into terms that a preschool-er or a dead turtle could understand. And no, no exaggeration—Sasuke clearly recalled several points in which he had to bounce back to basic principles of addition and multiplication. How the hell the idiot managed to get into Trig 2 was a miracle. Hell, how he managed to get through any math class was mind-boggling after their tutor session.

However, once Naruto finally wrapped his simple mind around the concepts, they stuck with him and he quickly started to piece things together on his own. It took many different types of explanations, but Sasuke felt like Naruto finally had an idea of what he was doing.

Though now what Sasuke would have really liked to know was how they had gravitated towards each other without his notice… They were sitting with only an inch or so separating their bodies and their knees were brushing. Every now and then, when one of them shifted position, their thighs would brush. And, even more baffling, as the hours stretched on, he found that these touches seemed to last longer and longer and that their bodies seemed to want to linger on these small brushes.

Not only that, but Sasuke had brushed hands with Naruto a few times when he stopped Naruto from proceeding with a problem that he was massacring. He would simply pluck the pencil from the blond's hand and correct any mistakes. However, each time he did so, his hand would linger for longer periods of time over Naruto's, their skin gently brushing, until it got to the point where Naruto had to pointedly clear his throat and jerk his hand in order for Sasuke to move.

Odd, indeed.

Even more odd, he kept having lightening-quick hot flashes, gone in a blink. He ignored and dismissed them, however, and made a mental note to adjust the thermostat (or have Kakashi adjust it).

"Alright," he told Naruto, "now we can—"

He didn't know why he did it. Maybe it was because Naruto was drumming the pencil against the textbook, maybe it was simply a reflexive movement, maybe he just wanted to brush his fingers against Naruto's again. Whatever the reason, the result was the same.

Sasuke reached to grab the pencil and he grabbed Naruto's fingers instead. Naruto's incessantly drumming hand stopped immediately and Sasuke grew immobile. Several frozen moments passed and then it was Naruto who made the next move. The pencil fell to the table, forgotten. Naruto turned his hand so that their palms were flush against each other. Between their skin sparks of heat ignited, heating their skin.

And then, quite randomly, Sasuke found himself flashing back to their kiss, and he found that it was a memory which he couldn't easily ignore and dismiss, despite the fact that he had convinced himself before that it had been nothing (simply a weak moment which would never transpire again, all caused by a trick of the light). The memory caused his palm to heat even more and he thought for sure that his skin would scorch at the rate that it was heating.

And then Naruto cleared his throat again and Sasuke took his hand back, although none-too-quickly. Instead, he drew it back slowly—almost achingly so—and the skin of their palms brushed, tension and friction causing more pleasantly-warm sparks to ignite. Then their fingertip were running down each other's fingers and one of them (Sasuke really couldn't tell which of them it was at that point), curled his fingers and their fingers curled around each other, locked together, almost like they were trying to stay bonded together for as long as possible. And then, even more achingly slow now because they were interlocked, their fingers kept gliding over each other.

Such a stupid gesture and yet—why was Sasuke's heart rate increasing?

And then, finally, the pads of their fingertips caught and the heat had moved down and concentrated in those fingertips and they both seemed to freeze for a moment with time suspended—

And then their hands separated and the feeling was gone. The heat in Sasuke's hands faded, leaving his palms sweaty and clammy. He took a silent, steadying breath. And then, to his utmost shock, he felt a warm wave travel up the back of his neck, liquid fire rushing through his veins and causing his creamy, pale skin to darken to a hot red.

Mortified that the blush may spread to his face, where it would be more noticeable, he casually snuck a peak to Naruto. However, relief filled him when he saw that a pretty pink flush colored the skin above the cheekbones of the blond. Not only that, but he looked as confused and dazed as Sasuke felt. Well, that was a good sign, right?

_Right_, Sasuke assured himself, and then softly cleared his throat. "I'll see about convincing someone to deliver ramen. I'm not in the mood for a repeat of the last time you tried to make it yourself in my kitchen."

Naruto gave a small nod, still flushed, and Sasuke couldn't help but once more feel relieved because at least… well—

_Whatever the hell is happening to me, at least it's happening to him, too._

* * *

While he wasn't exactly sure of the man's hidden motives, he was never one to question good fortune—at least, he didn't question _real_ good fortune. He could always tell when someone was playing him the fool, and the idiots who tried to trick the master of trickery quickly discovered why he was such a feared being.

"You're sure about this?" he droned, his voice oozing out like cold, thick poison. "You will make it happen definitely?"

The man gave a jerky nod, a muscle in his jaw ticking nervously. "Of course."

Such a foolish man. _Don't let your fear be so obvious_, he wanted to advise the other man, yet he held his tongue. There was something about a jumpy rat in a serpent's den that had always seemed appealing to him; the way they always moved subconsciously, nervously, refusing to stand still lest their nerves get the best of them and they turn and bolt.

A slow, serpentine grin twisted his thin lips. Many had told him that this smile much resembled the confidant snarl of a predator before it pounces on its prey. "Then I will talk to you soon," he assured the man, dismissing him.

The man, however, shuffled his feet anxiously, unsure as to what to do next. There was a pause as he regarded the man with amusement. The man, however, refused to meet his gaze at that point.

His grin shifted into a smirk. The man was assuredly exceedingly stupid, but no matter. The stupid ones were easier to manipulate.

"You are dismissed," he said to the man.

Mizuki didn't need any further encouragement. He bowed his head a fraction of an inch, turned on his heel, and fled without glancing back. It wasn't until he was sure that he was out of the other man's sight that he shook his head to himself.

That man… something wasn't right with that man. Mizuki could sense it. The man had a creepy feel about him, the same creepy that was associated with pedophiles and rapists and Hitler and criminals of the worst degree.

And—yes, it may have been his imagination or his ears playing tricks on an aging man, but—he swore far behind him he could hear the rise and fall of loud, raucous, twisted laughter behind him. Or maybe 'laughter' wasn't the right word to describe it. Cackling. Yes, cackling. Did he hear the remnants of a hollow, jovial cackling which seeped from the thick air behind him?

Mizuki shuddered at the thought. It was more than likely. That man seemed like he was missing a few screws in his head and possibly had lost pieces of his mind in his sock drawer. Well, that and a lot more, more than likely.

Another shudder racked him and he almost—_almost_, make note of that key word, please—felt bad for what he was doing. But the feeling soon passed and he resumed his trek, feeling just as void of emotions as he did when he had arrived.

Yet another shudder racked Mizuki's body, causing the fine hairs on the back of his neck to stand on end and goose bumps erected themselves all over his body. He rubbed his forearms with his hands in an attempt warm his suddenly-freezing. Behind him, he swore another cackle echoed through the air, following him and escorting him to the door.

Yes, that man definitely wasn't right in the head.

* * *

_Notes for the Deprived_

(1) For those of you who are deprived of American games, _Spill the Beans_ is a game which I, ironically, have never actually had to play in which the goal is to slowly and methodically add plastic beans to the pot without it spilling all over your side of the board.

(2) Just in case I have anyone out there who lived a sheltered life like me and doesn't know, _dingle bat _is not a compliment. 'Tis a name which insinuates stupidity... and other stuff.

**We're getting somewhere with this story, I swear. **

**Eh… The Gaara/Naruto interaction went on **_**forevvvvvver**_**. Seriously. I'm sorry. I guess I tried to make it interesting to read, though. Does that make up for it? :/ And, uhhh, I don't really know where the hand thing came from. XD? Really, I don't. I had no idea what I was writing until it came out. But then again, that's how all of my writing is these days. :( I can remember back in the day when I, the author, had control over my stories. What the hell happened?**

**RANT:**

**And well, fuck, this isn't extremely edited. Why? Because I have viruses attacking my poor computer and alas, I can't even _open_ Microsoft word. In fact, I had to add the notes through the "edit" option. :( So please mail my comp some get well cards. **

**And, well, fuck again. I _had_ planned on finishing a SasNar Christmas oneshot. Now it may turn into a belated Christmas oneshot if i buy my computer the correct Nyquil and-or Dayquil, depending on how bad this virus is. (And I so detest writing entire stories through the FF-dot-net edit option...) ARRRRGH, THIS IS MY LUCK: I GET TIME TO WRITE AND WASTE IT TRYING TO FIX MY WRITING PROGRAM SDFLKFJDSLKFJ.**

**Alright. Rant over.**

**Anyhoo. Drop me a line, yeah? It seems that I'm writing this more for myself than anyone else these days, but eh, oh, well. X3**

**PS: Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy New Year, etc etc etc.**


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